Life Humorous Poems

Don't want an attorney I have no defense
for I am ready before any jury to publicly confess
Before you judge me and condemn me cold
I plea...

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Many British thermal units* later

Vice linkedin to carnal flesh this writer, 
(a married heterosexual doofus, – 
whose alter egos 
named and highlighted courtesy 
Gallant and...

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I often take a shameless selfie
Of myself dining or travelling gleefully
And post it on my Facebook
Or Instagram page immediately 
Some people say it's quite conceited...

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Happiness is a new wireless mouse

I bought from Staples earlier today
November 18th, 2024
cuz the the older one malfunctioned.

Said older generation mouse sported
a rather extensive "mouse...

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Eagerly awaiting until many tomorrows...

to become affianced to the grim reaper,
who never promised me a rose garden
nor crystal clear pool of fragrant delight
to accompany last...

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Cute ghosties and witches are seen
And monsters are part of this scene
Here it’s called ‘Hop Tu Naa’
It’s quite easy to say
We never say it’s Halloween!

Each...

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I love her looks and lovely lips,
The light her sweet smile brings,
And how she speaks and sways her hips--
She flits and floats as if with...

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"Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

Not a crock of ... but bull heave me,
you heard (read) right here from me
the horse's mouth,
who never neigh says,
cuz...

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walking most of life
within brackets
a comma always in front of my steps
if in the right mood
an accent over my head
but those moments dwindle
nobody notices my...

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Black and blue boo boo bruises courtesy hurled Bobo box

No matter I sustained multiple contusions about the face and neck and minor head concussion after...

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there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal) 
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam


2.
onions (red) 
tomatoes (finely chopped) 
garlic (four cloves) 
fireman's ladder (aluminium) 
disparity (secretly hidden)...

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My basset puppy ran off with my essay
She even stole my mail
She cleaned out all the fridge
and wagged her funny tail

She went through all my...

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Me
And so there I was
in a house, but it wasn't a house
it was a shop, but not any old shop
it was my house and I...

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Everyone nose, especially Al R. Gee, I haint no otolaryngologist

Nonetheless this bard **** 
videre licet punster mocker feels gratitude
courtesy Kaitlyn Gilsenan, PA-C
a moost deal height...

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I feel honored, and flattered to acquaint myself (a married youthful looking sexagenarian solitudinarian from southeastern Montgomery County, Pennsylvania), yet feel awkward at jump/kick starting...

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