Kids Humorous Poems

 Poor Frosty snowman kids can't cuddle
His carrot nose sits in a puddle
Guess it's global warming
Winter's not conforming
Our seasons are in a right muddle

A randy...

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Have you not heard of the legend
of Terror Turkey Tom?
Who roams the woods punishing those
who do Thanksgiving wrong?
The bird with an unending hate
for those folks...

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No objection to cold weather, but...

ah jest wanna boomerang 
back into the womb
versus being threatened 
courtesy beastie boy gang
beating me to a pulp 
after accurately...

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Night Time Girl
It`s almost nine o`clock and it’s time to go to bed
So climb under your covers and rest your weary head,

Get yourself real comfy...

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Miniscule male member doth bend sinister

impossible mission of mine to bare witness
whereby mine (whore rubble) puny phallic
describes a bent shaft, particularly when cap
locks on first...

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My basset puppy ran off with my essay
She even stole my mail
She cleaned out all the fridge
and wagged her funny tail

She went through all my...

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Defecation accidentally clogged...

for the umpteenth time 
during spate to sit scrawny buttucks 
on porcelain throne id est 
videre licet toilet bowl...
with toxic water brew threatening
to...

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I swung with a vengeance but missed that damned fly
The breeze I’d created caused him to pass by
My electric racquet in underarm mode
Still failed to...

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The kids are gone, I'm retired, I'm takin' a long vacation,
To Paradise Island with sunny beaches, that's my destination!
I'll spend the days savorin' a climate...

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Then, the Good Old Days
Better than what’s now, always
This law, all obeys

When, in good times past
Bygones better, Everlast
Nows always surpassed

And, back further still
Even better then,...

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Thank you, Wind, for sitting with me -
A most uncommon interviewee.

Glad to help, won't you take good notes,
So that you may avoid misquotes?

Sure, I think...

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It's world book day and all through the land,
Mums and dads have their head in their hands,
Cos the kids told them at bed time as...

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Limericks IX



Scratch-n-Sniff
by Michael R. Burch

The world’s first antinatalist limerick?

Life comes with a terrible catch:
It’s like starting a fire with a match.
Though the flames may delight
In...

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Bike to ramp and from ramp to tree
In just a second you can feel the hit
Hanging midair is a time of glee
Adrenaline rush with teeth...

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I used to have a green corset.
I wore it when I was young and sexy.
My husband got crazy when I had it on.
The kids never...

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