Kids Humorous Poems | Examples
These Kids Humorous poems are examples of Humorous poems about Kids. These are the best examples of Humorous Kids poems written by international poets.
Flying past the hillsides,
flying pat the bays,
flying past the cabin
where I might just like to say.
Flying past the tall trees,
branches scrape my feet,
’tis the finest jetpack
you can buy with money.
Ain’t no toil,
in my jetpack royal,
my view is unspoiled
in my jetpack royal,
so high the blood boils
in my jetpack royal,
the schemes that I’ll foil
in my jetpack royal.
Flying through the cities,
over the suburbs,
flying past the park where
kids by swings wait their turn.
Flying over mountains,
past the birds of prey,
the eagles give strange looks
then dive out of my way!
Ain’t no toil,
in my jetpack royal,
my view is unspoiled
in my jetpack royal,
so high the blood boils
in my jetpack royal,
the schemes that I’ll foil
in my jetpack royal.
Oh, free flying,
so high and free,
I wish you had
a jetpack like me.
If I had cash
I’d buy you one,
we’d soar up high
and have too much fun!
Ain’t no toil,
in my jetpack royal,
my view is unspoiled
in my jetpack royal,
so high the blood boils
in my jetpack royal,
the schemes that I’ll foil
in my jetpack royal.
Categories:
adventure, flying, fun, humorous,
College Before Family, 1982
My pen just writes
My dog just bites
My wife just fights
And I just might
Decide everything’s alright.
Empty Nest, 2025
Life didn’t quite yield that plight
Because the pen barely writes
The pups play fight
The kids had height
Were polite
And actually bright
The wife’s a delight
Most days and nights
My life might be trite,
And I’m good with this slight rewrite.
Categories:
humorous, children, dog, family, happiness,
Calendar commences, conviviality,
kids kvetch knishes cold,
cantaloupe crappy,
kids constantly crunching cookies,
cake, candy.
Could kayaking, canoeing, camping
in Canada cure cantankerous
children's contention?
Can caddying at the country club
conquer kid's complaining?
chaos could conduce calamity,
kindred claiming complete cuckoo-ness,
summer sanity-stealing s'mores scavengers!
Categories:
humorous, 7th grade, 8th grade,
shout shout let it all out, you are a peado and we want you out,
come on were talking to you, come on were talking to you,
shout shout let it all out you are a peado and we want you out come on were talking to you come on, were talking to you,
you better watch out, better not cry, town criers here and were telling you why,
peado your leaving your house, peado your leaving your house,
peado your leaving your house,
you pack your bags in the morning, you pack your bag in the day,
the police car is a whaling, and there coming to take you a way,
you better watch out, better not cry,
nonce our kids and we hope you die,
peado you are leaving your house,
you better watch out better not cry,
all the hunters are here and were telling you why,
peado your leaving your house, peado your leaving your house, peado your leaving your house.
Categories:
humorous, child, child abuse, humor,
the silver birch
it likes to hide
so as you search
at eventide
you find it there with many friends
playing poker through the night
the common oak
a wise old man
an aging folk
since time began
grandfathers of the forest they
speak myth and folklore when they can
the sycamore
with helicopter seeds
sets out its store
among the weeds
then grows to be big and strong
from people’s picnics on which it feeds
the horse chestnut
is the conker tree
the children’s favourite
but too spikey
until they are ready later on
and why kids were late home for tea
the yew
is old
and grew
so slow
its age is in millennia
and battles from the archer’s bow
the hawthorn
its blossom white
and at dawn
as if it snowed all night
then all too soon the white has gone
a desperate case of bad stage fright
the conifer
fir, spruce and pine
a regular
likes mead and wine
to keep it warm in winter then
comes into homes at Christmas time
Categories:
fun, funny, humorous, light,
I saw her in a meadow high
Where red flowers touch the sky
Her eyes were mournful, so much inside
I looked within, skepticism died
(chorus)
I'm in love with a big blue cow
And a big blue cow loves me
She don't have a job, but she survives
Without that college degree
She don't take drugs, and she don't drink
We agree about politics, I think.
I used to date a gal, who talked a storm
But I felt cold, I had to feel warm
I wanted a date who understood me
This cow is electric, I touched the fence, and I see.
Now its the wrong species, my parents would plea
But species is what I say it must be
In Kindergarten, they indoctrinated me
with a gender book, for kids aged three
At this point, you might say I'm moronic
But true love is always platonic
over 28 percent of young women say they are gay
I think that society made them that way
So don't laugh at me when I avow
eternal affection for my big blue cow
I'll go to the meadow, and gaze in her eyes
where bees buzz, and the condor cries
You may say I believe what I want to believe
But who doesn't, and love can't deceive.
Categories:
humorous, feelings, funny love, humor,
In this woke world I’d soon be hung
If I had had your spiteful tongue
How ironic that its wagging
Only stopped when you were gagging
And as I tried to grab the shard
Of chicken bone that was stuck hard
I grappled with what I could grip
And when you flinched… I heard a rip
You spasmed like you’d just been stung
And left me with your severed tongue
My sense of humour must be black:
Your tongue is mounted on a plaque
I’ve kept it from my wife and kids
To keep my marriage off the skids
So they don’t know that though you’re dead
A bit of of you is in my shed
So there I sat; my hide of choice
And thought about your nagging voice
And when your tongue began to jiggle
I won’t pretend it made me giggle
It made a move like licking lips
And flicked a few saliva drips
It looked ’round with its probing tip
Then sensed me… and it gave me gyp
Categories:
humorous, irony,
Because I'd been good for a very long while,
my parents decided to buy me a crocodile.
Then all the kids on the block
thought I really did rock.
Till two weeks later,
another kid’s parents decided to buy him an alligator!
Shoot! And now some kid’s braggin’
his parents are gonna buy him a Komodo dragon.
Oh, my God! This is way over the top!
Will this neighborhood competition never stop?
Categories:
humorous, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Poor Frosty snowman kids can't cuddle
His carrot nose sits in a puddle
Guess it's global warming
Winter's not conforming
Our seasons are in a right muddle
A randy elf whose name is Delph
Loved nookie with elf on the shelf
But Delph got quite riled
By June she's 'with child'
And produced a tiny wee elf
Old Rudolph said, "I need to 'go'"
But Santa's late so he says, "No"
Rudolph can't hold his pee
And it is clear to see
The outcome was bright yellow snow!
Categories:
humorous,
'Twas the night before Christmas at my house
when I heard a noise I knew wasn't a mouse.
And as the kids dreamed fast asleep in bed,
through their window, I saw a flash of red.
I thought raccoons were causing this uproar,
I know what they're like; I've heard them before.
Tipping over garbage cans, they're a pest;
wanting to see for myself, I got dressed.
No one was stirring, so I went to see
what made enough noise to awaken me.
Grabbing a flashlight, I headed outside
where I slipped, landing square on my backside.
Let me tell you, I wasn't in a good mood:
and that fall didn't improve my attitude.
On the roof, I saw reindeer and a sled,
for it wasn't raccoons, but Santa instead.
And Rudolph's scarlet nose was all aglow,
causing a red reflection on the snow.
Santa winked and then disappeared from sight:
believe me, I'll never forget that night.
My wife wouldn't listen to a word I said,
worried that I probably hit my head.
But when I was getting up from my fall,
I swear I heard, "Merry Christmas to all."
Categories:
humorous, christmas, fantasy, funny, holiday,
My basset puppy ran off with my essay
She even stole my mail
She cleaned out all the fridge
and wagged her funny tail
She went through all my papers
and threw them on the floor
Oh that crazy basset
She almost broke the door
I did not stop her
I wanted to find out more
And that is when I realized
Her tongue could clean the floor
She brought me so much joy
I really couldn't complain
This crazy basset dog of mine
Put sunshine into my life and kept away the rain
Whenever I was sad
She'd lay her cute head on my lap
She wouldn't eat or move
Until I took a nap
I couldn't believe my eyes
When she ran off with a broom
She skidded all over the tiles
And brought new meaning on to how to clean a room
Categories:
humorous, animal, cheer up, funny,
Then, the Good Old Days
Better than what’s now, always
This law, all obeys
When, in good times past
Bygones better, Everlast
Nows always surpassed
And, back further still
Even better then, until
The best be all's it’ll
But, this trend is woe
Each past better than then's now
Life keeps getting worse
‘Till, the Now-a-Days
At the bottom of the hill
Things aren't looking up
No, they’re not and won’t
All generations to come
The next Kids Today
Categories:
funny, future, humorous, time,
Thank you, Wind, for sitting with me -
A most uncommon interviewee.
Glad to help, won't you take good notes,
So that you may avoid misquotes?
Sure, I think that would be a crime.
Tell our readers how you spend time.
I love to travel everywhere,
So many places I move the air.
I have pushed ships across the sea
To new lands of opportunity.
I caress folks' faces and skin.
So they feel good outside and in.
I convey smells of fresh baked bread,
Jasmine flowers and roses, red,
The happy shouts of kids at play,
And singing birds to start the day.
Do you ever find that you get bored?
Are there more pastimes you've explored?
I make ladies' hair come undone.
I swiftly rustle skirts for fun.
I blow a hat off of a head.
I'll make a field goal miss instead.
Sometimes, when I get furious,
I'm a cyclone, injurious.
Thanks Wind, I've enjoyed our meeting.
This will be engaging reading.
And so, the interview ended.
Notes on which the piece depended,
Placed on the cafe table, unbound,
Were blown here, there, and all around,
As the interviewer was taught,
The Wind's a guy who can't be caught.
Categories:
humor, humorous, nature, silly,
It's world book day and all through the land,
Mums and dads have their head in their hands,
Cos the kids told them at bed time as they turned out the light
That they need a costume, and before the first light.
So into the cupboard, to see what is there,
But after spring cleaning, the cupboard is bare,
There's no capes, no wands, no witch's hat,
Its devoid of anything useful, no tails for a cat.
So what can be done, for the daughter and son?
So they can be part of World Book Day and join in the fun.
And then the answer just leaps to the fore,
They lock all the windows, and bolt the front door,
Close all the curtains, lets have a joke,
Don't go to school - they have an invisibility cloak!
Categories:
humor, humorous,
Bike to ramp and from ramp to tree
In just a second you can feel the hit
Hanging midair is a time of glee
Adrenaline rush with teeth a’grit
Grasping his precious jewels
The tens unit clung
Crank that cruel switch to eleven so
His unborn kids will know he was stung
A blindfolded face, cigarette tastes,
Tighty-whities, and a Big Mac burger,
A boxing glove hits a fragile place
So he screamed that his meat was murdered
Hot sauce dares with a barren gut
The bottle beckons, its all for good fun
Capsaicin will rain hell upon his you know what
Chug the demon’s drizzle and the damage is done
Office chair races down a favorite hill
Speeding down through memory lane
On my way towards a hefty dentist bill but
Jackassery is always worth the pain
Rock fights in mud is a childish leisure
With a soundtrack of chuckles and thuds
Growing up simple and hollow is a pleasure
When your friends are a bundle of duds
Categories:
childhood, friendship, funny, humorous,