Kids Humorous Poems | Examples
These Kids Humorous poems are examples of Humorous poems about Kids. These are the best examples of Humorous Kids poems written by international poets.
Darn kids arrive and turn lives upside down,
Doted and loved and they don’t have a clue,
That parents haven’t a way around it -
But unconditionally, through and through.
For starters we’re awake from sleepless nights,
Then toddlers’ tantrums test our calm and cool.
And folks, please note, we’re stripped of spanking rights
As soon as darn kids start going to school.
Darn kids grow up and out of childhood bliss,
Some move away or in, if basement’s spare.
Now sleepless nights are somehow dearly missed,
It’s daily worries parents have to bear.
Based on facts darn kids don’t make exceptions,
‘Who is loved more’ stems from misconceptions.
None is perfect thus no one is to blame -
We’re hardwired to love them all the same.
Carl’s frequently picking his nose
He's saving it, as does twin Rose
They now have a huge pile
Of dried snot, it's so vile
And daily their collection grows!
Their mother found the pile of snot
And deftly removed the whole lot
Carl cries, Rose starts bleating
"That snot was for eating"
Their mother does not care a jot!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a squirrel named Tyron,
the Tire Swing Tyrant—his ire on
full display if you dared
to approach (he’d stand, glared),
then pelt you with acorns like iron.
His kingdom? A maple tree’s shade,
where trespassers trembled, dismayed.
Kids tiptoed in fear,
but old Mrs. O’Sheer
just laughed, tossed him peanuts—he stayed.
A truce? No, a trade, it was clear:
her yard safe, his ego sincere.
Now Tyron rules proud,
though occasionally cowed
when the neighbor’s tomcat slinks near.
Calendar commences, conviviality,
kids kvetch knishes cold,
cantaloupe crappy,
kids constantly crunching cookies,
cake, candy.
Could kayaking, canoeing, camping
in Canada cure cantankerous
children's contention?
Can caddying at the country club
conquer kid's complaining?
chaos could conduce calamity,
kindred claiming complete cuckoo-ness,
summer sanity-stealing s'mores scavengers!
Because I'd been good for a very long while,
my parents decided to buy me a crocodile.
Then all the kids on the block
thought I really did rock.
Till two weeks later,
another kid’s parents decided to buy him an alligator!
Shoot! And now some kid’s braggin’
his parents are gonna buy him a Komodo dragon.
Oh, my God! This is way over the top!
Will this neighborhood competition never stop?
Poor Frosty snowman kids can't cuddle
His carrot nose sits in a puddle
Guess it's global warming
Winter's not conforming
Our seasons are in a right muddle
A randy elf whose name is Delph
Loved nookie with elf on the shelf
But Delph got quite riled
By June she's 'with child'
And produced a tiny wee elf
Old Rudolph said, "I need to 'go'"
But Santa's late so he says, "No"
Rudolph can't hold his pee
And it is clear to see
The outcome was bright yellow snow!
My basset puppy ran off with my essay
She even stole my mail
She cleaned out all the fridge
and wagged her funny tail
She went through all my papers
and threw them on the floor
Oh that crazy basset
She almost broke the door
I did not stop her
I wanted to find out more
And that is when I realized
Her tongue could clean the floor
She brought me so much joy
I really couldn't complain
This crazy basset dog of mine
Put sunshine into my life and kept away the rain
Whenever I was sad
She'd lay her cute head on my lap
She wouldn't eat or move
Until I took a nap
I couldn't believe my eyes
When she ran off with a broom
She skidded all over the tiles
And brought new meaning on to how to clean a room
Then, the Good Old Days
Better than what’s now, always
This law, all obeys
When, in good times past
Bygones better, Everlast
Nows always surpassed
And, back further still
Even better then, until
The best be all's it’ll
But, this trend is woe
Each past better than then's now
Life keeps getting worse
‘Till, the Now-a-Days
At the bottom of the hill
Things aren't looking up
No, they’re not and won’t
All generations to come
The next Kids Today
I used to have a green corset.
I wore it when I was young and sexy.
My husband got crazy when I had it on.
The kids never knew; I did not advertise it.
It was fancy with lace, and lots of pretty satin.
There might have been tiny pearl buttons on it.
It was really something.
Not comfortable, but went well with high stockings.
I think back on it and smile.
No idea what happened to it or why,
but there was a time I was a fox, truly a sexy wife.
When I think corset, my imagination remembers.
I don’t dare even say “corset” to my husband.
Because he remembers too….
I
simply
loathe July!
School vacations
are expensive times -
kids want entertaining
thank goodness for summer camps!
Travel and hotel costs rocket.
My kids get bored and start arguing -
I just can’t wait until term time begins!!!
This is what your grandma looked like when I found her.
Great-grandpa Willy was grinning as wide as a piano bench.
I stared at the photo; four beauties, none looked like grandma.
Which one is she? I asked him, completely confused.
She is the beautiful one on the right, Willy told me.
The prettiest one! Wow! This was really something.
She was a fox! He said, a catch, gorgeous beyond the moon.
Great-grandma came over and took a peek at the photo.
That is my sister Janet, she said, and three of her friends.
She flipped through the photo album and found a picture of herself.
That’s me with four kids and one on the way.
This made more sense to me. Grandpa was not speaking.
As a parent I drool
To send kids back to school.
Far too much frantic fun
Drains me shallow, no pun.
Rowdy, raucous ransack
Leaves calm space out of whack.
Summer - precious and short -
For adults I’d retort .
Hot spot, wasted away
On young - I dare to say.
Blatant truth to be told -
Schools should shut in the cold.
For all we care or know
Children thrive in the snow.
August 22, 2022
*Image of Gender Gap by TLNT.
Parity Parody
I was just twenty, was young and healthy, and I said let's dance,
Turned to you Big Ben, said, first kiss say when, you said not a chance.
I was now thirty, I played a small bit, sort of a big hit,
They made me a clown, the small kids attacked, Pennywise from IT!
I planned at forty, thought to be sporty, got you a "Hottie"
Till out of the cake, in his birthday suit, grandson went potty.
I knew at fifty, what do I get for one with everything,
That's when you said a set of Bone China, two cats from Beijing.
I had turned sixty, said you're pretty, but I said something dumb,
Turned where glass is, eyes like molasses, I said you're wearing them!
2022 August 15
Donuts are not solely for cops,
While monitoring traffic stops,
Although a cliché
The truth I convey;
They're great too, for kids, moms, and pops!
“I may be a cheap honky tonk bar whore
but have three kids here and at home two more”.
Relax I said, my name’s Rex
and I do practice safe sex…
yeah, trust me, I always lock the car door!