When confused or excited,
Phil chatters inanely.
When he’s irked, he’s not placid;
He gestures insanely.
When he’s full of strange antics,
some folks won’t go near him.
He just gets on their last nerve--
no reason to fear him.
When he makes wild suggestions,
his family get surly,
and his friends are disparaging:
“Phil, don’t be squirrelly!”
They think Phil’s such a fruitcake,
a loser, a dummy.
He would show them all. He'd make
creations so yummy.
When this loser got famous,
they all were astounded.
A great fruit cake company
old nutty Phil founded!
His old critics are huge fans,
rating his cakes "superior.”
They recall when they all thought
Phil was so inferior.
April 15, 2023
Contest Name: They say he's a loser
Sponsor: Joe Maverick
A fickle pickle occurs when a barytic agent is introduced. Moving onward to eat one of the tainted fruits, the result is shameless drunken bacchanal behavior. Vomiting may produce sintered clumps. Extralinguistic speech may occur with reversionary doubting crosshatched with psychical deformities of the tongue. Curdling spital may also be present. Unspecific hallucinations, plainspoken tales of oblong and moist body parts usually follow within 24 hours. Momentous as all this may seem, one must be ready for even more animated behavior.
Summing up, if you eat a fickle pickle you will become nutty in thought, word and deed!
(constructed with words from Poetry Soup random word generator.)
He stops
Then hops
On sill
His thrill
To peek
And seek
Highjack
A snack
Eyes flare
With glare
Embrace
My face
To hand
A grand
Cool treat
To eat
Give bread
Instead
Not fit
Drops it!
Seems mad
So bad
Bites thumb!
I'm glum!
I sway
Give way
Throw nuts
He gluts!
Spoiled brat!
Now scat!
August 27, 2022
Contest: Brian Strand Premiere Choice
Sponsor: Brian Strand
I told my brother
“I’m having a problem
with squirrels in my attic.”
He replied “yea they’re
looking for nuts.”
Slow day
Yard play
On ground
Nuts found
Went great
Huge weight!
Nuts keep
Porch heap
Tree rats
See that
Pile boon
Steal soon
Cat shock
Low stock
Thief hints
Footprints
Thief flees
Oak tree
They saw
Break law
Rat sneered
Pals jeered
Glove thrown
For Home!
Made sling
Stretch string
Nut shot
Load hot!
Launch sling
Nuts zing!
Attack
Rats whack
Attack
Nuts lack
Rat pack
Nuts back
Big rush
Brain mush
Not think
This Stinks
Fend self
Hog wealth
Their greed
Plants seed
Show care
Nuts share
Bat, Gat
Learned that!
Riding in the Wagon
over such deep ruts
I simply had no choice
but to grab his nuts.
I didn't want them jarred around
didn't want them smashed
Didn't want them banged or bruised
or even to get bashed.
I grabbed them soft as possible
in a firm, yet gentle way
Didn't want him thinking
I'd be holding them all day
The road began to straighten out
so his nuts I did release
When we pulled up to the Walnut Farm
We let out a sigh of relief
Our journey has now ended
the Walnuts are all gone
Tomorrow I'll hold his nuts again
At the early break of Dawn
recalcitrant nut
will not yield its hidden heart
resists invasion
patience gone where is hammer?
walnut obliterated.
" N" Poems
Nutty
Poetry Contest
Sponsored
by
Constance La France
20/09/2021
I'm nuts! Where should I rhyme,
So you are laughing from the guts?
Ring! Ring! Ring! Let my poetry sing!
Ding Ding! Ding Dong! The lighted doorbell blings!
They have me on medicine, cause I am too funny,
Honey, let me have you chuckle.
I tattooed my knuckles; H A H A!
I may have just wasted five of your minutes!
With grace I shall repair,
With words that are crisp to share,
Or maybe I should not dare,
To end your nutty stare!
19-September-2021
There once was a man nicknamed " Nutty "
It was down to the way he played Footie,
Each match he'd score ten
Again and again
Then he'd pop off for a pint and a butty.
Each family tree has its nuts.
Such ones are quirky, have guts!
But to them, no surprise!
Their mum rolls her eyes.
She lets out a sigh and tuts.
He went to a sanitarium.
He thought it was an aquarium.
" So, I'm nutty says you?
You haven't a clue!
I'm really a veterinarian. "
" You are nutty! " Says you to me.
Is this a complement? Am I funny?
But then you pretend
That it wouldn't offend
You ask, " What's the matter honey? "
Written 19th September 2021
For the " N " Contest - Sponsor : Constance La France
It seems Left true,
yet beyond AltRight evangelical reproach,
Deliberately violating a democratic governance constitution
is analogous to betraying a resident-inclusive
cooperatively-governed trust
invested in health conserving resilience, ecological
and wealth defending resonance, geo-theological
secular polypathic
with sacred polyphonic co-acclimation,
transubstantiated humor
creolizing psychology's socio-power analysis
and ecology's ecotherapeutic co-investment
in bilateral
and multilaterally winning
sacred scientific revolutions
swirling in robust multi-meta paradigms
Evolving strings
informing/exforming
transforming regenerative healthy-wealth
of democratically multicultural thought
nutrition
matriarchal nurture
as American as apple pie
and flag-waving international sacredness of motherhood.
" OFTEN THEY THOUGHT IT PRUDENT TO
LET PEOPLE KNOW WHICH WAY THEIR WORLD WOULD BE.
SOME OF THOSE WHO SAID IN CONCERT
AFTER THE WORDS WERE REHERSTED, AND THE MUSIC SET IN PLACE
AFTER THE CLOTHES WERE CHOSEN,
AND FITTED TO EACH PERSON, AFTER THE
TIME AND DATES WERE PLANNED
AND ALL THE SCHEDULING DONE,
WHEN THE INVITATIONS WENT OUT
FOR THOSE PEOPLE YOU JUST WANT TO HEAR YOU
AND THEN WHEN THE TICKET SALES REQUEST FOLK
THAT LOVE YOUR SOUND, OR WANT
TO GET TO KNOW WHAT YA'LL DOING.
THOSE NIGHTS BEFORE THE SHOW.
THOSE DAYS BEFORE THE SHOW.
THE ACTUAL SHOW.
THOSE PEOPLE WHO DO THE WORK.
THOSE WHO KNOW WHATS GOING ON.
AND THOSE WHO MAKE THESE HAPPEN.
AFTER THE PARTY'S
AND DURING THE PARTY.
THOSE WOMAN WHO LOVE YOU.
AND THOSE ONE'S WHO JUST WANNA BANG AND GET SUM.
LOVE LIKE TOMORROW'S NEVER GONNA LET YOU DO-IT AGAIN.
THAT BEING FAMOUS BABY!
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT WORTHY OF DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN !"
THE MEMBERS OF THE BAND !
The pot calling the kettle black
Is like a sock in the shoe rack
The black cat crossing the road
X the window lest something explode
Ain't life grand with all its fables
Knocking on wood sitting at the table
Don't step on the sidewalk crack
Lest you break granny's back
So much fun when you was a child
Watching the adults really go wild
As Granny turned the car around
Finding another route to get to town
Cause a cat decided to cross the road
Scared something in life would implode
Licking her finger to mark the x
Just so she would not be vexed
We would laugh and call her nuts
Being caught up in these little ruts
And though we thought it to be lame
We would wind up doing the same
I'd love to see it once again
Granny and her x with her grin!
Life is like a nut,
Differs in shape, size, color or crust,
Life is like a nut.
For some, it’s like a coconut,
Beyond the reach, safe from gust
Very important, much privileged!
Whether unripen or matured.
For some it’s like a peanut,
Malleable, fit in budget
Widely spread, versatile no doubt
However, down and out.
For some it’s like a walnut,
You can see the eminence clear cut
Set comfortably in its dwell,
In a hard stilted shell.
For some it’s like a pine nut,
Gazes weird I tell you what
Shielded with strong beautiful woody cone,
Prevents you! to invade its zone.
For some it’s like a cashew nut,
Self-interested, pricy somewhat
Tightly attached with red pulpy drupe,
Be cautious! While shelling the fruit
For some it’s like a chestnut,
Down-to-earth, graceful but,
Surrounded with sharp spines called “Bur”
All adversities ought to conquer.
Life is like a nut,
Differs in shape, size, color or crust,
Life is like a nut.
There once was a nutty professor
Who felt he was so much the lesser
He mixed in a beaker
The perfect Id-tweaker
Out popped a sharp-dresser successor.
Buddy Love was the coolest of men
Where once an old egg-head had been
But despite how he tried
The old prof couldn't hide
From his nature, or who he had been.
His honest intent from the start
To impress a young blonde, a-la-cart
But each potion he'd brew
Wasn't sweet or as true
As the man that she found ... in his heart.
~ 1st Place ~ in the "Favorite Comedy Movie" Poetry Contest, Alexis Y., Sponsor.
Thick glasses and buck teethed
bumbling, insecure, nerdy and meek
he got many laughs
blowing up his class
teaching chemistry with two left feet
Julius was tired of being prudent
wanting to attract his female student
so he drank his potion
feeling new emotions
becoming Buddy who was confident
Buddy Love was a suave singing snob
who attracted Stella and a whole mob
but Stella soon knew
from Buddy's clues
that he was giving her a snow job
So Stella fell for nerdy Julius
even though his looks he did not fuss
making her laugh
before and after class
Buddy now gone they both had enough
Down the hall they'd walk hand in hand
Stella his wife, Julius her man
with braces on his teeth
she kissed his cheek
dropping books which wasn't his plan
3-3-18
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