Gratitude for Courage to Listen to Our Inner Spirits - Kathleen Kroll's Blog

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Gratitude for Courage to Listen to Our Inner Spirits

Blog Posted:1/6/2017 9:04:00 AM

Yesterday is a whirlwind in my memory.  I can taste it.  I feel its tightness in my chest.  It tingles along the edges of my tongue.  My mouth has pins and needles.  Their stabbing pricks enlarge and then fade.  My breath feels warm as I exhale.   The tightness extends through my leg muscles.  

Exhileration destroys peace though it is addictive.  Excitement is what I crave yet it fatigues me.   Our goal was to plan an especially memorable trip for our 75th birthdays.  Weeks of floating plans and then discarding them opened to our dream trip of traveling to South Africa.  We would experience nature in its birthplace.  It would be a once in a lifetime experience that we would remember forever.  There were problems - the 30 hour plane trip especially caused much worry,  planning and discarding of plans.  Finally, we saw a travel agent who floated a plausible strategy.

Still, there were health issues that caused me, especially, some angst.  Two days ago, my husband had his 3 month doctor's appointment.  When the doctor heard what we were contemplating, he laid the possible consequences on the line.  Generally, B's doctor is a no nonsense, strictly business, type of person.  Yet he was moved enought to confess that he, whom he considers fairly agile and healthy, fell twice in the space of a month recently.  I was proud of my husband who said that although he refuses to live his life in fear that he is not foolhardy and will reconsider our trip.  

In the space of 24 hours, we scrapped a travel plan that was months in the making and substituted one with which we are both happy.  So why am I feeling emotionally exhausted and depleted?  I feel confident that we made the right decision.  

I have very little musical educattion or training but I find classical music healing..  My spirit responds to its soothing qualities.  Our new plan will open fresh doors to its appreciation.  I have always dreamed of hearing a concert(s) in the places in which it was composed.  This trip will allow us to do that.  

How can we justify the months of planning that will never materialize?  Perhaps we don't need to.  There are some things that you are just not meant to do. I am so glad that we listened to our inner spirit.  This trip was not right for us as evidenced by the agonizing journey to "make it work".  We were in South Africa for a time if only in our imagintion.  More importantly, we are being moved by a new spirit, music and travel.  Perhaps I will go to South Africa in my next lifetime.  But for now I intend to follow the music.





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Date: 1/6/2017 6:09:00 PM
So tell us, where ARE you going to go? I think AFrica would be fun, but I hear so many scary stories about people picking up strange viruses like from insects, etc. If you were gonna be doing safari type stuff, I think you are better off that things happened the way they did!! HAve a great time at your concerts.
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Kathleen Kroll
Date: 1/8/2017 2:20:00 PM
We are taking a cruise on the Danube from Budapest to Prague with a couple of days in Vienna! I agree. Reading the warnings and the inoculations needed gave me more than a moment of pause. Thanks!
Date: 1/6/2017 1:59:00 PM
- A major challenge .... whoever does not dares ... will never experience - A great blog, Kathleen - Best wishes for a happy weekend :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Kathleen Kroll
Date: 1/8/2017 2:21:00 PM
So true, Anne-Lise. Thanks! Love your handle.
Date: 1/6/2017 11:10:00 AM
Great post, Kathleen. : ) "Many of the best parties are spontaneous." There are realities in our lives. It can be hard to give up on a dream. It can also be fun as heck to plan a trip, even if you don't go. There is a clarity and momentum in your writing that speaks to me.
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Kathleen Kroll
Date: 1/8/2017 2:26:00 PM
I appreciate your comments on my writing, Doug. Thank you. I compared our planning of the trip to the way my dad used to buy a car. He made and broke a number of deals, each time with a great deal of gusto (if he didn't get the price he thought was right). Dealing with reality as one gets older is a challenge. Hope to do it with grace and humor.

My Past Blog Posts

Are poems posted on Poetry Soup considered published?
Date Posted: 11/11/2017 10:04:00 AM
How do I turn on commenting on my poetry
Date Posted: 11/3/2017 4:28:00 PM
Question on entering a contest without a name identifier.
Date Posted: 5/25/2017 9:12:00 AM
How do you organize and save your poetry files online?
Date Posted: 5/15/2017 8:43:00 AM
How do I send private email to a member?
Date Posted: 5/5/2017 7:32:00 AM
Gratitude for My Inner Guide
Date Posted: 2/19/2017 11:07:00 AM
Gratitude for An Inner Life With Its Highs and Lows
Date Posted: 2/14/2017 11:52:00 AM
Gratitude for Movies and Books That Speak To Me
Date Posted: 1/31/2017 12:43:00 AM
Gratitude for the Yin and Yang of Life
Date Posted: 1/28/2017 10:49:00 PM
Gratitude for Being on the CA Coast
Date Posted: 1/24/2017 10:08:00 AM
Gratitude for Writing as an Emotional Release
Date Posted: 1/15/2017 11:19:00 AM
Gratitude for Courage to Listen to Our Inner Spirits
Date Posted: 1/6/2017 9:04:00 AM
Gratitude for the New Year
Date Posted: 1/1/2017 10:07:00 AM
Grateful for Lessons Learned as a Blended Family at Christmas
Date Posted: 12/31/2016 8:56:00 AM
Gratitude for Willingness to Try Again
Date Posted: 12/13/2016 9:05:00 AM
Gratitude for the quality of spontaneity
Date Posted: 12/9/2016 10:06:00 AM
Gratitude for the mentors/role models in our lives..
Date Posted: 12/2/2016 8:07:00 AM
Gratitude for the routineness of our lives
Date Posted: 11/27/2016 10:30:00 AM
Gratitude for the Soup Community
Date Posted: 11/25/2016 10:54:00 AM
Gratitude for realization that we have very little control
Date Posted: 11/23/2016 8:10:00 PM
Gratitude for man's ability to imagine good
Date Posted: 11/22/2016 9:37:00 PM
Gratitude for family memories, quiet and good health
Date Posted: 11/21/2016 8:58:00 PM
Gratitude for being accepted as I am..
Date Posted: 11/17/2016 7:44:00 PM
gratitude for generations
Date Posted: 11/12/2016 9:49:00 PM
Gratitude for community
Date Posted: 11/11/2016 10:30:00 AM

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8/24/2017 The Wonder of Birth in Parallel Universes Free versebirth,change,life,
6/18/2017 Pain and Rain Free versebaptism,forgiveness,pain,
5/29/2017 The Inner Workings of a Clock Free verseanxiety,confusion,courage
2/9/2017 Endless Time, Endless Beauty Free versebeautiful,muse,spiritual,
1/17/2017 Morning is Elastic - Version 2 Free versegrowth,imagination,inspir
1/14/2017 Ferocious Time Free versechange,nature,time,
1/8/2017 The Push Me Pull You Game Free versebody,humor,new year,
11/28/2016 Morning is Elastic Free versecreation,introspection,pe
11/11/2016 Peace Slips Lightly Free verseautumn,beauty,change,peac
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7/29/2016 Girlfriends Passage Free verseadventure,friendship,girl
5/21/2016 A Litany of Thanksgiving Free versebereavement,brother,death
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4/27/2016 The Tornado Free verselove,passion,
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4/27/2016 The Lowly Turnip Limerickjudgement,silly,
4/27/2016 Solitude Free versesilence,solitude,song,
4/21/2016 Ponds Edge Free versecreation,emotions,love,na
4/16/2016 Picture Perfect Family Free verseeaster,family,identity,tr
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when the words dissolve upon our tongues Free versewords,
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