Smutty Poems | Examples

Funny hat joke

" All the funny jokes are a bit smutty" :(  ~~ The poet~~


Such a sunny day, yet the lake was mine, not a soul to be seen.
Too good to be true the place to myself quieter than it had ever been.

Leaving my clothes beside a small bush I decided to go for a swim.
But when I came back everything was gone, left only a hat with a torn brim.

No undies no sox not a thing to put on, I had to cover all with that hat.
On the way home, an old woman laughed,  “Oh my goodness what is that?“ 

“Madam if you were a lady you wouldn’t laugh at the predicament I am at" 
She replied “ Well if you were a gentleman you would tip your hat !’’

Eye To Eye Talk

Eye To Eye Talk
 

With smutty look, it started .
A look to look again,
Until the love begin.
To every hern of she,
even the nails cudnt be set free.
Tip to toe she had to glow,
to quench his look, he throws.
Till the same look reciprocates.
Appealing to the other, one generates.
When she is no less,
to lure him a step away.
A shy look of acceptance,
Yet, no word of utterance.
Eye to eye they spoke,
without queries to evoke.
To the one very own,
Within sometime,
known through eyes.
Indulged in affinity,
Caring is definitely.
In plain words I say.
It’s love in sight,
where words are dumb,
The eyes speak bright,
Lovers are numb.
When “She” is the universe.
Only “He” in the canvas.
Admitting through looks,
eye to eye they are booked.

Tenement Years

Reared in ruins,
& East London brick dust,
lard spread on bread.
My figure daubed 
by days of oil and dirt,
a boy by railroad tracks -
wrong side.
Trains clattered past
pumping smutty fumes.

Once, a pretty girl
visited our tenement,
posh clothes,
(I mean, not rough flannel),
clean hands, neatly dressed.
We boys gawped, then
then derided.
we had no way to acknowledge
one so distant from our reality.

I told mother,
she just shrugged not understanding.
She was a lock-in woman
& expressed herself 
as a long ignored dog would
when asked about
the meaning of life.

Aquarius

An air sign NOT water surprisingly
Quick witted; it sure applies to me
Unique thinker, happy in my own company
A day dreamer, ideal for writing my poetry
Rebellious, I don’t like folk who are bossy
I love humour, sometimes mine is smutty
Unpredictable, my husband would agree!
Such a free spirit I adore being carefree


Star Sign Acrostics Poetry Contest

Sponsored by Charlotte Puddifoot

03/31/21

Wildlife 11

Wildlife 11

Timmy, a cute little shrew,
Wrote limericks smutty and blue,
His rhymes were not 'Chic'
But a bit 'tongue in cheek
That he sent to some poets he knew.

Humor

Humor makes everything seem sunny
Though some things can leave our eyes runny
Gonna lighten things up
Tell some off-color smut
Sure gets one's attention especially if smutty

Stained Virgin

STAINED VIRGIN
They say a virgin is an undefiled maiden 
An immaculate vestal
How else could she be,now stained ?
unchaste and smutty
tarnished and blemished
that's humanity !!!
STAINED is our religion
its no longer a personal race
but a raceway of competition
sanctuary has become an institution
for jeopardy to our disgrace
STAINED is our so called just government
Blood of humans lies in their hands
which has landed us in disfigurement
cause of selfish pleasure
blood shed all over homelands
yet no justice to measure 
STAINED are our relationships 
we prefer gain to true love
trust has turned into a treasure so hard to find
loyalty has turned to hard to equip
yet everyone wants to feel loved
when we're all disinclined
STAINED are our lives 
everyone is in a rush to make it
never minding the consequences
we're ready to receive never willing to give
steady to commit,never set to admit 
that's why we make accomplices  
 life is light  
but what we see through it,is blood
brutal,reprobate,corrupt 
has become the blight
profane and soiled has been the flood
she's too stained to be pure again 
 - Praise Irawaji

We Were Country Folks

From Grades one to eight,
I attended a private Catholic school,
my fertile father fathered thirteen children,
and begrudgingly, the school board coveted our souls
for the tax revenue alone.
So, they sent a bus to pick us up,
for we were country folks
and it was nine miles to town.
I remember when I was ten
and my teacher sent me to the principal's office,
to explain my egregious behavior.
My teacher claimed I was obtuse
and mischievous,
referencing the matter of my gross graffiti.
It seems she saw the smutty drawings
I drew of her on the men's rooms stalls
and swore I was due for a rude awakening.
The principal, a nun, wasn't having any of it
screaming I must be evil,
or perhaps on drugs.
That was her opinion of every student
attending her strict school,
she had little regard for our souls.
If it were up to her
she'd have a priest consecrate the school,
so that mine and all other demon souls,
would be banished from her holy place forever.
And though I survived the indignity of her strap
that day; and the many more that followed,
the scars of those memories
cost me my faith.


(Free Verse)


08,20,2019

Vulture Vulgarian

Speech of a drunken sailor,
muttering foul things ...
utterly gutter manure color
Filthy thoughts sent virus airborne,
dirty mind intimations tattooed on

She’s a vulture vulgarian — 
Carcass breath
spreads her dead bosom infection

Unrefined manners, coarse habits
Crude behavior ill-defines 
her pagan talk,  smutty actions

Obscene gestures is this wench heifer’s 
favorite, non-verbal expression
Her unclean vocal droppings
is a flirty cow pasture indiscretion

O’ witchy woman, so vulture vulgarian
Your condor exhalation
is cemetery-grade, crypt vapor carrion

Speech of a drunken turn-key,
muttering vile things ...
words detestable, ought not be
Deplorable lip belches sent coldly,  nether bound — 
a putrid place, wherein is only the hot slug sound

U-Turn

U-turn
poem
Lionel Derbyshire

Death you swath
Out of the dark
You go everywhere
And bluff the hour
Bench your thirst
And slit your
Own throat
So you thirst no more
You horrid hire
Hold your hour
And turn around
Befall you wretch
And summon yourself
In your own smutty desire
Death you die.

Death you are dead
Vain , valid and blameless ..
You do defeat and stop
The pain I cannot.
Boot me ! I am hollow
Turn me into ash or dust
Under lid and handle
I cannot carry.
And never will
I be crowned a king
In a crowded 
Stingy and mean
Parody world ..
Nevertheless ..
Death you are 
Vain , valid and blameless .. 
ll keep alive
Death U-turn away.

Racy Twosome

There once was a couple so gay
Who liked to get down and to play
Their giggles so naughty
At thoughts that were smutty
Loved flaunting their conduct risqué



Submitted on December 27, 2018 for contest BAWDY LIMERICK sponsored by TANIA KITCHIN  -  RANKED 3RD

Just Horsing Around

sue spread her legs wide
when mounting the wild stallion
oh your smutty mind!

SexyKu Contest
Sponsored by Richard Lamoureux

5, 7, 5 CHECKED WITH HOW MANY SYLLABLES

02~19~17

Slippery Sam the Serpent

Slippery Sam the serpent sang songs.
About sexy slitherers in thongs.
The tunes were quite crass.
Cause thongs up their ... .
Let's face it, that just never belongs.

My apologies for being smutty. I think my mind is rotting.

Temptation Triggers, Cowritten With Casarah Nance

pouring
sexy velvet origins
ignoring
delicacies begging please
forming
mold and fashion flesh driven sins
storing
homemade ***** potion remedies
preparing
visual nude food female medicines
exploring
the view from subdued dirty knees


erotic deep massage sensualities
high flame temptation recipes
lust concoction cream filling candies
who is the bondage sandman
complying to your delectable submissive fantasies


audacious
lacy lingerie masked peep show
courageous
breath by exhibitionist neon winter glow
voluptuous
thick statuesque marvel from head to toe
sensuous
all the words that we speak and readily know
lilaceous
rose petal confetti falling like chunky snow
delicious
the smutty delicacies that we continuously grow


baby what's your favorite speak
that'll make your tongue weak
here I am your favorite freak
who'll take you on with lips of sweetness
you'll take, make no mistake
I revel in my shackled sexual deviant bliss
triggering temptation as we play
come here baby and have it your way

Read All About It

READ ALL ABOUT IT


Stories all of 100
years old
Bribery And
Blackmail
They have to be
retold

Definitions of words
have surely changed
as Kilts And Reefers
are now explained.

Two Kinds Of Success
stories
That Work Both Ways
Stealing From Cities
and the Faithful
Toby way

No Poison In The
Wallpaper
is History Rewritten
With A Humble Helper
and Powerful
Competition

Like a Scene In A
Play
The Counterpane Got
Smutty
He Raised The Bid
today
was a story so funny

Striking A Light was
crazy amazing
but Obeying The
Order became
disgracing

Drunk Pennies
Justice
is a true story
indeed
Like A Woodpecker’s
Justice
and Another Pair Of
Sleeves

Wakening In The
Forest
while Lost In The
Fog
and a Costly
Breakfast
for you and your dog

We learn of
Unreasonable Anger
and How Best To
Prepare
The story of Tree
Planters
and Village Gossip
between pairs

Stories of over a
hundred years
Let us watch them
all right here
With many bringing
you to tears
Taking you back
through the years



By:
Doris Anne Beaulieu
At:
https://www.youtube.com/user/Viewwithme2

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