Best Smutty Poems
Slippery Sam the serpent sang songs.
About sexy slitherers in thongs.
The tunes were quite crass.
Cause thongs up their ... .
Let's face it, that just never belongs.
My apologies for being smutty. I think my mind is rotting.
It rained on and on.
the fire in the hearth
had long died out.
hunger grew,
frustration raged.
vultures swooped down
to feed on flesh in the night
half willing, half resenting,
surrendered, rather subdued,
desire spilled over,
bristles pricking
from organ to organ
thrusting and tearing
devouring in greedy gulp
waves surged past the log
passion spent,
hunger appeased,
purse strings loosened,
silver coins tinkled.
amply paid,
her wages of shame……!
the toil not wasted!
nights came one by one
creatures of the night frequented her more often
and the scenes were constantly replayed
though she abhorred them,
there was no other go, but yield
‘exploring hands encounter(ed) no defense’.
each night closed in smutty h(r) ut,
when the h(r)ut turned a prostitute,
she started to rot.
feeble she grew,
languid she became,
body thinned,
energy waned,
ailments plagued,
and
immunity lost!
now,
she lives an outcast.
a luscious fruit
blighted by the worms!
no more nocturnal invaders…..
no inebriated blather falls in her ears
only the hoot of owls !
___________________________
June.16.2022
Placed Fourth
Creatures of the Night Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Julia Ward
[Title changed from ‘Double Talk’ as I’ve
used that title before]
________
This was the place that he’d chosen to go
They do a great starter of avocado
Everyone ordered the same starter there
And he'd always wink and say what a nice pear
His girl said this could be a very nice date
But please don’t be smutty or I’ll get irate
The cafe was German, renowned for its wurst
Each lady he liked he would take her there first
Which allowed him to use a one liner or two
Like I’m gonna get a hot sausage for you
Again his date felt that she must speak her mind
Speak dirty again and I’ll leave you behind
As for desert, there was one choice to make
She didn’t want ice cream so she ordered cake
His choice of words might have upset his mother
When he said I’d like a bit of the other
His date said what is it you don’t understand
Your double entendres are way out of hand
Tell me she said, do you like horses
He said I've been on a few riding courses
Nowadays I stick to my trusty land-rover
As I always struggled to get my leg over
That’s it, she bellowed, your mind is too shady
I only want you to treat me like a lady
He said I get nervous, don’t know what to say
She said lose the smut and you're doing okay
Talk about family... or friends if you’d rather
Okay he said... how’s your father
Bagels have holes in, my garden has moles in
Some teeth have gold in and some text has bold in
Teeth, moles and text is a song no one sings
But holes must be some of my favourite things
Donuts have holes in, the ocean has shoals in
I’ve got a door that is letting the cold in
Seas, fish and doors to my life no joy brings
But holes must be some of my favourite things
Swiss cheese has holes in, a toy box has dolls in
It seems my TikTok has got many trolls in
Tik Tok, trolls and dolls do not give me wings
But holes must be some of my favourite things
When I get dirt
On a new shirt
Or when I’ve been had
I think about holes and the joy each one brings
And then I know I’m……. not mad
My hand was unhurried, I typed this unworried
Had I been fearful, I might well have scurried
But I shall accept any flak that it brings
When I say that holes are my favourite things
I secretly hope that I’ve driven you nutty
You only read this cos it might be smutty
Yet sometimes a writer has tongue-in-cheek goals
But I truly love to suck mints that have holes
I call them Polos; you call them Lifesavers
Mints that have holes in and candies; five flavours
When I feel nervous or fear what life brings
Those holes must be one of my favourite things
When I get dirt
On a new shirt
Or when I’ve been had
I think about holes and the joy each one brings
And then I know I’m……..
…………..
Not mad!
Reflections
Perchance refractions
On mirror of civilization
Unveiling deep furrows-
Nausea of despair!
Ugly shadows of innocence
Haphazard ruins
Harbingers to Africa.
Mother Africa
Unleash black juju
Denounce anaemic gods and
Sing blues to negritude
Dream with Senghor
continental dreams
Dreams individual-
Like Nkrumah
A touristo blackano!
And African huts
Where come rains
To water our negritude
Come clouds
To hide our wrecks, rubble.
Robbed of freehold rights
By mayor and corporation
At slum clearance!
Acclaimed sons and daughters
Of former freedom fighters
In our misery!
Mother Africa
Forget them
Forget a touristo blackano
Behind wrecks
Behind smutty, illicit stuff
Behind oblique natives!
Forget these loud symbols of welfare
Albeit feigned
Symbols of might
Albeit loaned
Symbols of unity
Albeit fictitious
Symbols of friendship abroad…
Forget these things!
They mask the essential you
Distorting your true image
The image truly befitting
Our motherland:
The world’s caustic kaleidoscope!
sue spread her legs wide
when mounting the wild stallion
oh your smutty mind!
SexyKu Contest
Sponsored by Richard Lamoureux
5, 7, 5 CHECKED WITH HOW MANY SYLLABLES
02~19~17
pouring
sexy velvet origins
ignoring
delicacies begging please
forming
mold and fashion flesh driven sins
storing
homemade ***** potion remedies
preparing
visual nude food female medicines
exploring
the view from subdued dirty knees
erotic deep massage sensualities
high flame temptation recipes
lust concoction cream filling candies
who is the bondage sandman
complying to your delectable submissive fantasies
audacious
lacy lingerie masked peep show
courageous
breath by exhibitionist neon winter glow
voluptuous
thick statuesque marvel from head to toe
sensuous
all the words that we speak and readily know
lilaceous
rose petal confetti falling like chunky snow
delicious
the smutty delicacies that we continuously grow
baby what's your favorite speak
that'll make your tongue weak
here I am your favorite freak
who'll take you on with lips of sweetness
you'll take, make no mistake
I revel in my shackled sexual deviant bliss
triggering temptation as we play
come here baby and have it your way
suns smutty shadow still
symphonically shouting silently
self scorched selflessly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
March 2011
Hitendra Mehta
For Members Contest - "Alliterative Haiku" by Chris D. Aechtner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Could you imagine,
A face like that?
Created by the face of an angel
And modeled like fashion
For the damned and deceased.
A respected locksmith,
Drunk on insomnia and aging,
Kissing the pavement
With bare and busied feet.
The Brazilian beauty
Who prides herself as
The representative of blushing.
The one who catches the bouquet
By chance and
Throws it away before anyone notices.
But on a theory in a slip of time,
Before the extinct proposition
And an oddly proportioned new born,
Curls a quivering life form
In the belly of this woman so sweet.
Born from innocence and named Mary,
For the sake of Jesus.
She is not 36 nor is she 16
Yet she is at the fruitful age of 57.
And at 57,
This symbol of love and innocence
Is fumbling with the curiosity
Of breast feeding her unborn child
That wiggles and withers with frailty
Inside of her.
Dark wood,
Unimaginable line,
Where could you have gone
When the pages were as blank as the faces
And for the life of you,
You couldn't tell the difference.
Just say it.
Rip it from the tip of your tongue.
Show your taste buds no mercy and speak.
Grow.
Expand.
Consider the possibilities when
It appears there are none.
Enjoy the pain
And embrace all oppressions and oppositions.
Slumber in the smutty bluntness
Of a marital masquerade.
Quit it
Then keep it going.
Move the stones
And bend their broken subtractions.
Crack the indescribable aptitude
Of times motive for murder.
Explicate reason,
Smoke your lungs away,
Cry your eyes out,
And suck at the wastelands.
CUCUMBER PHILOSOPHY
Don’t smile, frown or in any way express emotion
Just gotta lie here and keep straight, green, stiff and shiny
Soldier cucumber on parade, dressed left with all my buddies
On display, under inspection
Civilians admire - some even touch.
Pretty women hold us up for their girlfriends
And make smutty jokes and comparisons about men
Or they squeeze us, pretending to think cucumber thoughts.
We stay at attention, reliably enduring surrogacy.
Wimpy men pick us up carelessly and toss us
Into the shopping trolley with their asparagus and dill
Children grab us for use as swords or clubs in their games
Then we get bruised and end up in the reject pile out in the trash
No way for a soldier to go
Good cucumbers die young
Our ideal end is like the samurai with a sharp blade
In a swift cut across the middle
Feel nothing, know nothing
And then be of service in a salad.
I don’t know but I’ve been told . . . . . . .
No cucumber wants to end up just old
U-turn
poem
Lionel Derbyshire
Death you swath
Out of the dark
You go everywhere
And bluff the hour
Bench your thirst
And slit your
Own throat
So you thirst no more
You horrid hire
Hold your hour
And turn around
Befall you wretch
And summon yourself
In your own smutty desire
Death you die.
Death you are dead
Vain , valid and blameless ..
You do defeat and stop
The pain I cannot.
Boot me ! I am hollow
Turn me into ash or dust
Under lid and handle
I cannot carry.
And never will
I be crowned a king
In a crowded
Stingy and mean
Parody world ..
Nevertheless ..
Death you are
Vain , valid and blameless ..
ll keep alive
Death U-turn away.
LOSERS
If there’s something I can’t stand it’s all the losers around -
And man, there’s a ship-load of ‘em out there, having a ball.
Amazing how the world gets by when so many surround
Us as useless passengers. Not really pulling their weight at all.
You see them every day, the deadbeats, the nothings,
Playing the empty-headed drifter roles,
Who really should and could get busy doing something -
If they had more gumption in their souls.
I dunno, they just make me feel so mad and kinda uneasy
Because they seem to have no feel for the real nitty-gritty,
Lurching from one smutty moment to another, maybe more sleazy -
Like autumn butterflies, but not nearly so pretty.
Need their wings clipped, and a serious job of work to do,
Settle down and straighten their lives out, see?
They make me uncomfortable. . . . probably. . . maybe it’s true. . . .
Because they remind me - of me.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . .
Entered in John Freeman's Contest - Give Me Your Best Shot!!!!!!
Speech of a drunken sailor,
muttering foul things ...
utterly gutter manure color
Filthy thoughts sent virus airborne,
dirty mind intimations tattooed on
She’s a vulture vulgarian —
Carcass breath
spreads her dead bosom infection
Unrefined manners, coarse habits
Crude behavior ill-defines
her pagan talk, smutty actions
Obscene gestures is this wench heifer’s
favorite, non-verbal expression
Her unclean vocal droppings
is a flirty cow pasture indiscretion
O’ witchy woman, so vulture vulgarian
Your condor exhalation
is cemetery-grade, crypt vapor carrion
Speech of a drunken turn-key,
muttering vile things ...
words detestable, ought not be
Deplorable lip belches sent coldly, nether bound —
a putrid place, wherein is only the hot slug sound
Drunken Smutty Teenager.
Burning Suicidal Angst.
Red Breast Ripped Open
In The Cold January Heat.
When Love Is Harsh.
When Love Quakes
Within This Presence.
When It's Burs Are Only Nibbling.
When It's Eating Out Our Ancestors
And Crumbling With The Asphalt.
Breaking And Entering.
Lapping Up The Crimson
Of A Bleeding Heart.
READ ALL ABOUT IT
Stories all of 100
years old
Bribery And
Blackmail
They have to be
retold
Definitions of words
have surely changed
as Kilts And Reefers
are now explained.
Two Kinds Of Success
stories
That Work Both Ways
Stealing From Cities
and the Faithful
Toby way
No Poison In The
Wallpaper
is History Rewritten
With A Humble Helper
and Powerful
Competition
Like a Scene In A
Play
The Counterpane Got
Smutty
He Raised The Bid
today
was a story so funny
Striking A Light was
crazy amazing
but Obeying The
Order became
disgracing
Drunk Pennies
Justice
is a true story
indeed
Like A Woodpecker’s
Justice
and Another Pair Of
Sleeves
Wakening In The
Forest
while Lost In The
Fog
and a Costly
Breakfast
for you and your dog
We learn of
Unreasonable Anger
and How Best To
Prepare
The story of Tree
Planters
and Village Gossip
between pairs
Stories of over a
hundred years
Let us watch them
all right here
With many bringing
you to tears
Taking you back
through the years
By:
Doris Anne Beaulieu
At:
https://www.youtube.com/user/Viewwithme2