Mixed Emotions
Relaxation, serenity of being alone
Happiness, like a dog with a bone
Shoes off, soft grass on your feet
Dreams of the one you long to meet
Lay in the grass, look at the sky
Life is short, you begin to cry
Friends pass away, they leave too soon
You are now alone to stare at the moon
Grassy meadows, rolling clouds
Whispering willows that sing out loud
Warmth of the sun, soft gentle breeze
The day ends, you don’t want to leave
Just how much courage does it take?
To stick to the plan that I’d made
And why should I be afraid?
To live my own destined fate
When all I could do is hate
All the things that I have said
Can’t I just stay in the bed?
With no sorrows and no regret
But the image of it in my head
Keeps on replaying until the end
As we visited our youngest grandson in his first year of college…a college close to the ocean…I must admit…the two of us…were filled with mixed emotions.
Our minds were happy seeing he’s grown into a fine young man…more confident and stronger…while our hearts were a little more melancholy…wishing he had remained a child just a little longer.
It’s a mix of emotions I imagine all parents and grandparents feel as each moment slips into the past…proud at who our children and grandchildren are becoming…while wishing time wouldn’t move so fast.
As he showed us around his campus…his dorm…our minds flipped from today back to when he was a child…years ago…and both of us felt blessed to have been around to watch him grow.
When our visit was over…after we hugged…as he walked away…he turned and waved goodbye…and I held onto Deborah’s hand as she began to cry.
Those mixed emotions bubbling up again…sad at how fast the time is going….
but as we watched him walk away….proud at how much he’s growing.
MIXED EMOTIONS
Mother deserved every bit of my love
She was my first love
She was the love of my teenage years.
I lived without the love I loved
High atop the stairs I sat, waiting
Torn between poverty and pseudo power.
Did you not know love grows?
A single flower blooms on pavement
A helpless pup found in abandonment
A cornered bird cared for
Deeply buried love can be unearth.
The pain of going astray
Blinding fog of delay
Who cared I drifted?
Looking for love in wrong places, when
All along it brewed within.
*
Jerry's task, to 'Write a merry jingle'
Something to make toes and fingers jingle
He wrote of how his fat wife
Had been happy all her life
Won the contest, but now he is single
People can say that they “Love You” thousands of times.
You say it back and forth, like it supposed to keep you together.
You fight here and there. You keep on trying to fix things between you.
What you see as nagging others see as compassion. I tried to show you how you should be treated.
But you have never had it given to you throughout your life.
Your use to the hate that was given to you when you were younger.
Now that you’re older it covers all your emotions. You don’t know the difference anymore.
You push away the ones who are there for you.
Leaving them high and dry. Moving them from the main priority to the last and the bottom.
You’re quick to Fill that hole of pain with the first hand that hand that comes.
Tearing their heart to shreds and having them wondering how long this has been going on.
Then they realize what they are worth and how much you hate to see them move on.
They don’t move on with another hand in life.
They move on with self-love and make the hardest move.
They leave and don’t ever look back.
Cause they are tired of these Mixed Emotions.
World Cup - 2018
Football season
Football fever
Glued to the television
Moments of anxiety
Nail biting
Edge chair sitting
Cussing the players, the referee
Despair, heart wrenching, disappointment
Then
Screaming, shouting... G O A LLLL!!!
Pandemonium, jumping, dancing,
Pans knocking, horns blowing
Hilarious with joy
My team won
Ouch!
Silence
Sad face, tears, disbelief, anger, mixed emotions
My team lost
Football season
Football fever
Where is here?
I feel their emotions burdening the ATMOSPHERE.
I am spinning in it.
Thicker than mud.
Was it BRICK COSTUD?
What were the emotions of the people surrounding me?
Some were in heated denial.
Who else would suppress a smile?
BAM!! DAMN!!
Noxious city air as day fades away to night.
People making casual friends and laughing at
Half FUNNY jokes.
Where are the finer things in life?
Today is my Birthday
I should be okay
But, 3 years ago you went away
Being my Dad I wanted you to stay,
It is Happy and Sad on this day
Now you are gone what can I say,
I smile and tell myself I'm okay
But, deep inside I am in dismay,
I feel torn on how I may
Should be feeling and in what way,
So I try to be happy and not stray
That yes it is my Birthday and it is the day God took you away.
Written By: Unique Poetry 12-17-15
i am happy
i am sad
i get angry
i get mad
i abuse my skin
i abuse everything
every touch is always pain
will i ever love again
when i feel joy i sing to the skys
cry in happiness
with a twinkle in my eyes
but when im sad
i go down to the dark
doing bad things
that will always leave a mark
tears will never end
needing a best friend
asking out to the world
why do this im just a girl
ill raise my fist and shout to the sky
make it rain with all the tears i cry
ill take one last step
and make it to my death
sink deep within the ground
and i wont make a sound
ill finally be at peace
can finally go to sleep
never having to go home
my problems over flown
do i leave?
do i stay?
will i hurt her?
if i go my way?
she loves me
but do i?
if i say yes
it's maybe a lie
i think all stay
wait, no i cant
but if i leave
thats what her ex might want.
i sense jealousy
is that love?
or selfishness
i must have.
what to do?
what to do?
all go see a witch
she'll give me some love voodoo
that is dumb
i must agree
confusion
is at a high degree
since i cant leave
and i cant stay
all dig a grave
and all be on my way.
I sleep believing
Tomorrow is a brand new day
A new goal and aspect is born
Wild and big dreams are formed
im chasing lifes greatest
memories
while trying to avoid the worlds
worst
weaponary
It happened at the wrong time
But what happened was beautiful
I denied it for a long while
Never wanted to fall victim to it
But when I realized what it was
I never wanted to let go of it
It made me feel whole again
It made me want to do more
It made me believe I could do anything
If only there was more time
I could have become accustomed to it
I could have known how to deal with it
I surely hope I have not lost this
I do not want to be without it
I don’t know what I would do without it
I hope I can deal without it
I want to feel this way forever
I want to hold on to every memory
Just to be able to go back in time
And relive every precious moment
Give myself hope that it will be there
That the future holds more of this
And I will become stronger by this.
sometimes i wanna scream i hate you .......
but i know I'd be lieing cause i know i really love you
and its crazy cause i love you so much it hurts ....
because deep down inside i feel myself slowly slipping away from you and no matter how bad i know i want this something inside me wont let me stay
i try so hard to keep the pieces together
but as time passes one piece falls at a time
all i do is pick each up and try to continue when i know im pushing you away all i want is for you to stay
but the way im feeling is only making it worse
its like i have so much to say but dont know how to express all of it
i just need you to know its not you its me i have to much pride to let myself get hurt again
i put my walls up but all i want is for one person to help me break them down
cause i dont wanna loose the one person i care about so much
to something that could've been solved with one touch .
I can't explain the way you make me feel
Falling for you wasn't in the deal
Our relationship was never ideal
But my love for you was real
The little fights finally got to me
All I ever wanted to do was flee
I finally told you how I felt under the shade tree
That was the last time you talked to me
The hardest part is seeing you everyday
I would be happy with a simple "hey"
I wish you would meet me half way
You won't even look my way
It's the 365th day
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