Daphne Blake was getting ready for a party
Wearing her new dress, she wished to look smarty.
Exposing her buttocks, she appeared so tarty
She revelled, not knowing she would soon fall into a trap dirty
Lanccelot went thro' the lists ticking off heads,
lost count of how many that he'd had in his beds,
handing a garter to the queen was wrong gender,
although he supposed that she could return to sender.
That brat Ivanhoe often arrived to spoil the party,
anyway with that demeanour he just looked tarty;
different generations linked them historically together,
so check your history, it really happened, don't say never.
For the purpose of this treatise - make it the same time,
have you never felt that someone was a friend of mine;
imagine that you were illegal, perhaps free for all later,
who programmed you and where was the instigator?
How would you have coped thro' - thought not quite right,
he was tired of body checking and fancied an early knight.
She wandered into the smog and found a mansion all haunted and hearty.
It was beleaguered by ghosts named Ted, Peggy, Janet and Marty.
They were on fire with craziness, having a fabulous Halloween party.
She said I am so glad I was given this address by my friend, Mrs. Tarty.
A firkin of gherkins in brine
Were found floating along the Rhine
They, tossed from some party
For being too tarty
And spoiling the taste of the wine
It's A Pickle Party Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Mystic Rose Rose
Date wrote: 13th August 2022
My Aunty, Patricia, she travels the land,
her bag of in-cases gripped firmly in hand.
The contents of which are largely unknown;
although just a few I've sometimes been shown:
One small first aid kit
in case of a cut, sting, or zit.
Two bottles of gin
in case her horses come in.
A black hat and tie,
in case someone should die,
and a packet of tissue,
in case crying's an issue.
A trap for a mouse,
in case one appears in the house.
One large plastic Mac,
in case of paintball attack.
A can of spray mace,
well, just in case!
A sparkly silk shawl,
in case there's a ball,
with a packet - of fine Earl Grey tea;
in case the Queen should pop in at three.
Also, some undies, the ones that are tarty,
in case it becomes that sort of party!
At the bottom of the bag, she keeps just one pound,
in case there's an in-case that cannot be found.
The sixth of July, the postman passed by
The stork brought little old me
Come rain or come shine I’d want to know ‘why?’
And wrote my name when I was three
I’d read and I’d write whatever the weather
But now I can’t string words together
And as such...
I don’t want a massive party
I don’t want a Maserati
Or birthday cards crammed in a sack
Nor a gizmo that makes coffee
Or a box of Devon toffee
I only wanna get my muse back
Don’t want no Hi Karate
Or a date with someone tarty
(Although she might invigorate my rhyme)
Don’t want no garage racking
Or a gift in birthday wrapping
Or special treats in some exotic clime
I need to scribble something
But I’m sat here like a dumb thing
This birthday boy’s brain is aslumber
Why not, someone says
Recount your birthdays
But I can’t remember the number
So...
Happy birthday to me
Now THAT’S irony
If it’s laughter that you’re after
Today, that’s not me
Unless...
This birthday cake that I have made
Turned out to be a bit flambéed
It just couldn't handle
This year’s extra candle
So here comes the fire brigade
a sweaty mugginess
falls to the scent of showered skin
our voices that cede to song
sweet nectar clean, the heart of touch
touch, that lathers compassion in the
voltage of erotic energy
essence of belonging
discarding grime, the brittleness of worry
as steam rises, circular bursts,
that tap the glass with wet
streams to trail skin, imprecisely,
criss-crossed on pink flesh like laces of cloud-ribbons
our love side-steps the edge of drought
to scrub the core of understanding
anatomical knowing, seductive like pie
no hinges of grim jawed anger
our tireless exploration, currents of motion
time best spent in the curl of our folds
as we shower beneath the tarty chatter of water
boundless,
breezy
like a tonic surge of rain
Poem composed May 20, 2021 (Revised January 14/22)
the woods deep and dark —
a tartan cloth underneath
the tarty couple
1/7/2019
Let us have a swapping party
I’m not placing any bets;
This could be so eco-friendly
Money saved and no regrets!
We can try a bit of swishing
Let us have a swapping party
Unlike shopping no guilt feeling
Choices range from prude to tarty.
One more chance we give to clothing
It’s recycling at its best
Let us have a swapping party
Put emotions to the test.
Friends can meet and share some gossip
In good faith; the talk is hearty;
Bring whatever for exchanging
Let us have a swapping party.
And next time we’ll make it arty!
Bring your partners – touch of sultry.
Let us have a swapping party!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Answerable to none
He waltzed across the party floor
A rosy cheek, a kiss
Dainty lady or tarty whore
Not one would he miss
Divorce had come and gone
As messy as it could be
With no dictator to look upon
He could not hide his glee
Of most domestic battery
Men on women we’ve heard
His freedom became the lottery
He’d won by the Judge’s word
Now footloose and fancy-free;
Answerable to none
If again he'll committed be
It must be for love and fun
May 02, 2017
For Fancy-Free Poetry Contest
Growing Up
When I was eighteen or nineteen, I discovered beer
Dance-restaurants and women generous with their wares
I didn`t eat sweets anymore which was good for my teeth.
Alas, beer made me talk and women laugh I was fun
but not in the morning a Jekyll and Hide character,
that woman in my bed had to go I needed peace, she had
a tarty face and dirt under fingernails, sex, was easy to
find in the sixty but life was hollow without love the kind
that is restful for the mind.
The money it is always about the money, soon I had to go
back to sea again the ocean can be beautiful at sunrise
But all that water gets a bit boring.
And so it went on tedium and fun a carousel of nothingness
Till I sat down educated me and liking it.
But as I progressed the knowledge I accrued made a distance
between my drinking friends and I loneliness was there
like a ghost of the past, but for me, the life as a seaman was over.
What you sayin?
We own it
For the morning of the lord
To the night
Greatness
Don’ start
Tarty mart
Setting sun
Splash of burgundy paan-spit
and the paterfamilias nodding off
pink filial freeness
silhouetted against a crimson feel- flare
(or was it orange flair or even purple fair)
symbiotic exchanges
slapstick sequences
elfin hemlines and tarty décolletages
catching agoraphobic impulses
homing…
04 aug 13
For Charlotte's contest
paper typewriters books and dictionaries
pens pencils desk
coffee cups
come on down
we're the coolest sale in town
we've got books
and nooks
pick out a pen
spend less then ten
i'm having a party
so don't be tarty
i've got type writers
and a desk to make things tightier
so come and spend
it's less i have to lend!
I don’t have a favourite;
I love each and every one
Whether happy or sad
Cheerful or glum
I love tarty Marti
And svelter Delta
Sloppy Poppy
And vulgar Olga
I love baddy Maddie
And angrier Andrea
Clean Jean
And fairer Farah
I love scorer Pandora
And messy Bessie
Gaudy Maudie
And sassie Cassie
I love a damp vamp
To tell the truth
Or Horny Dawny
And uncouth Ruth
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