Uh OH what am I gonna do
When my bum is full of poo
And there's just one little piece
Of toilet paper that I see
The sink cupboard is really bare
I cant find none anywhere
Looking around trying to find
Something to wipe my behind
No one's home to rescue me
I start to feel so itchy
There is only one solution
But I have to cause pollution
In the drain of my shower
Hot water on full power
Now I'm clean and smelling good
Knowing there's one thing I should
Stock up on so there's no fear
Of running out again I swear
To keep my supply overstocked
By buying every bag and box
I found 'em on the floor one night:
discarded socks no longer white
(the guy had diarrhoea, that's clear -
no paper left to wipe his rear -
and took the socks right off his feet...)
I guess he'd used the final sheet
of paper on the roll. He whined,
I bet! Then left his socks behind!
A wedding is a gamble
A marriage is a leap
High divorce rates indicate
We just get-ridda the creep
Paper cups and paper plates
Disposable diapers too
Once they’re used, out they go
Same with spouses ~ POO-da-loo!
As more than a few
flew to Peru
to peruse the view
who knew
or had a clue
what a man's to do
in the cerulean blue
but stand in the queue
to use the loo
and if you go too
or tootle on through
in lieu of a zoo
you're due to accrue
sights of a llama or two
in Machu Picchu
Help! I dropped my phone down the loo
What can be done? what shall I do?
Stick my hand deep into the pan
I pull and tug the best I can
Call a plumber or call a friend?
Can't do that, phone's stuck in the bend
Out I go to buy a new phone
Call a plumber when I get home.
Sailing solo is unsafe
and it's not much fun
one winds up talking to oneself
before the day is done
but a bad day on the water
or so someone said
beats a good day at the office
(and I would know)
snug in my bunk bed
so gentlemen here's a tip for you
as all good sailors do
(when they want to wee believe you me)
remain seated throughout the performance
when you go to the head (loo) or WC
"Open door!" yells he,
"Outta way, need a wee!"
After piddle,
Timeless riddle,
"What's for tea?"
"Can't chat!' says she,.
"Need a wee!"
So you and me,
Aging bladder to you,
"Where's the loo?"
Anywhere you go,
Wait, soon you'll know!
"So friendly, and so true. That was our Lucy Loo" By poet
Dear sweet Lucy Loo, how I’m missing you.
It’s tragic that we had to let you go,
but it was something that we had to do.
Someone else will love you, and this I know
because you have such sweet and loving ways.
When I first saw you, I was captured by
your beautiful brown eyes. You used to gaze
at me with those cute eyes. It makes me sigh
recalling how you used to lick my face.
Those doggy kisses never bothered me.
Recently I gave you my last embrace.
Your precious face no longer will I see.
May you be fostered soon; you are a pet,
dear Lucy Loo, I never will forget.
Dear Santa, it’s Looby Loo, I’m still here
It’s a miracle, have been ill all year
I don’t want you to forget to stop by
As this old gal would then break down and cry.
I need decent bloomers, mine are in holes
And us oldies truly do feel the cold
A box of curlers, the soft spongy type
As the old un’s wake me up in the night.
I’d like a dressing gown, size twenty four
I can’t do mine up, it don’t fit no more
Some new fluffy slippers to match it too
Mine are worn out, so I need them it’s true.
I may be old, but I like to look nice
Lipstick and face powder would see me right
Oh, some perfume too as mine has run dry
I wish to smell sweet when passing folk by.
Walking isn’t easy for me these days
A four wheeled walker would make me feel brave
I’d be most grateful if all this I get
I’m sure I will, as you are the best yet.
Try not to wake me as I needs my sleep
I’ll leave you some wine and mince pies to eat
Slam the door shut when you leave Santa please
I don’t want my presents stolen by thieves.
Bless you dear Santa for all that you do
Merry Christmas and may the Lord bless you
Looby Loo.
faeries create their own gardens in Liberty Loo
inventing flowers others cannot visualize
bringing their own hot pink fuchsia bugs too
constructing produce only they could fantasize
if you are lucky enough to get an invite to one
please ask if you can add a plus one for me
I have heard that Liberty Loo gardens are really fun
They even have flowers in natural blue said Laura Lee.
There was a line at the loo
poor pups didn't know what to do
each clapped his four paws
with rousing applause
when Frenchy finished his poo!
The grass toad wanted to slither like the snake
He asked him for lessons, as his tail did shake
I can teach you, the rattler replied, but it might be hard for you.
To truly slither it helps to have scales, like the boog-a-loo.
What is the boog-a-loo? The grass toad asked aloud.
He had a vocabulary of which he had always been proud.
Boog-a-loo is what I do to distract you toads, the snake said.
So saying, he stung him senseless in his inquisitive head.
“Okay then, alright then, toodle-loo, bye-bye!”
Sure love to hear that again
My first wife would end each phone conversation
With this familiar old refrain
Once uttering these words of sheer finality
It was over, finis, a done deal
Even though their words are heard trailing off
Time's up, no chance to repeal
Was definitely over when this sweet lady quoted
These charming memorable words
Am I dreaming or did I actually just hear them again
Can't be true, that's totally absurd!
“Okay then, alright then, toodle-loo, bye-bye!”
Love to hear those words again
Life has moved on but love to hear them once more
That familiar sweet old refrain
Carle(aka Charles-Andre) van Loo
a French painter not too many knew
Success with prolific quantity
history though sadly says little quality
Laura, fondly known as Lu Loo,
Your art needs a shout out, woohoo!
A versatile poet,
Your poems, they show it,
Sending hugs and blessings to you!
14th April 2022
8.8.6.6.8 syllables
For Margarita Lillico's "Paean on poets" contest
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