Jan Allison Poet Limerick

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There's No Knocking On Heaven's Loo Door

In heaven there’s two toilets of gold
(I’ve not been but it’s what I am told)
And if you need to do
Some urine or pooh
You really must be very bold

I’m advised there are no toilet doors
No excrement gains a round of applause
As it’s real bummer
Cos there is no plumber
Any blockage then God will know the cause

A plunger’s by the side of the loo
To remove any blockage of pooh
Just remember to flush
When you’ve wiped your tush
And hurry in case there’s a big queue

God’s plumbing is far from perfection
But water swirls in a clockwise direction
It’s released ev’ry hour
In a brown and gold shower
From this impact we all need protection!

The Throne in Heaven Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Jack Webster
10/11/21

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Delice Arleen Skelly October 22, 2021 at 9:50 AM Thought this was a difficult prompt!You navigated it with style..Delice

Sara Kendrick October 16, 2021 at 3:21 PM Creative and imaginative work for the contest. I haven't read about the contest but it must be an interesting one. Thanks for dropping by with congrats. Sara

Terry Flood October 12, 2021 at 1:29 PM Yuk! Following on from Tom and Caren’s comments, I understood that the ‘Gold lavvy nicker’ had struck again and both those toilets have been pilfered. The HPD are looking into it but they have nothing to go on. (The old ones really are the best ones). One of your grossest poems, Jan. you must be quite flushed. ;-) Jan Allison October 13, 2021 at 4:45 PM ha ha ha Terry I do worry about my muse lol, I think Looseheel Ball is one of my better efforts lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta October 12, 2021 at 11:18 AM Love your disclaimer, too! Well done! You clearly put some thought (and experience?) into this one! Rico Leffanta October 13, 2021 at 11:30 AM Thanks for the laugh! Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 1:19 PM just writing my usual poop Rico, it flows naturally lol:-) hugs jan xx

Caren Krutsinger October 12, 2021 at 10:38 AM I was thinking the same thing that Tom was thinking, but he is always the first one to comment on everyone's poems so read what he said, and pretend I said it too. Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 1:18 PM lol Caren:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham October 12, 2021 at 1:39 AM Now I know where that five million pound toilet stolen two years ago from Blenheim Palace went lol. Tom Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 1:18 PM hahaha:-) hugs jan xx

Victor Buhagiar October 11, 2021 at 11:01 PM No wonder this world is full of pee and poo. Hugs. Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 1:18 PM Thanks Victor:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso October 11, 2021 at 8:33 PM LOL great! Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 1:17 PM Thanks Art:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie October 11, 2021 at 7:15 PM Hello Jan ... is the quote 'waste not, want out' apply to heaven as well. Makes me wonder where I should go when the grim reaper calls - thanks Jan - Lindsay Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 1:16 PM I'm being cremated so i know i will be going somewhere hot:) hugs Jan xx

L Milton Hankins October 11, 2021 at 5:57 PM Oh my. This is a real stinker! I love it, but I'll bet someone takes exception to the line "God's plumbing is far from perfection," since God is supposed to be absolutely perfect. Who knew??? I can't come up with a single-ply thought for this one! Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 1:16 PM If anyone takes exception then so be it - Amen to their negativity and lack of sense of humour lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Beryl Edmonds October 11, 2021 at 4:55 PM Hilarious Jan, imagine the queues for the loo’s, that’d be a gold rush for a gold flush. All the best… Belle :-) xx Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 1:13 PM Lol thanks Belle:-) hugs Jan xx

Simon Hamill October 11, 2021 at 4:39 PM Hi jan.i knew you would enter this one.lol.you have got a fantastic sense of humour.you always make me smile.thank you.simon:-):-) Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 12:59 PM aww thanks Simon i do try and make folk smile if i can:-) hugs jan xx

Kim Rodrigues October 11, 2021 at 4:35 PM Love the golden tp!fun one! Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 12:58 PM Thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich October 11, 2021 at 3:26 PM Great imagination, Jan. I have no CLUE how to write for this one!! Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 12:58 PM I never know what my muse will come up with lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Silpika Kalita October 11, 2021 at 3:04 PM Love the juxtaposition of celestial and mundane imageries. A great amalgamation! Best wishes for the contest. Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 12:56 PM Thanks so much:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. October 11, 2021 at 2:43 PM Hi Jan, I knew you would come up with something for this contest. Well done. Best wishes in the contest;-) Alexis Jan Allison October 12, 2021 at 12:56 PM I couldnt resist Alexis lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Jenna Logan October 11, 2021 at 2:23 PM Ouchy, trying to wipe with gold TP. I KNEW you'd get around to entering this contest. lol Jan. Jan Allison October 11, 2021 at 2:29 PM lol Jenna, I am flushed with success that i managed to finish the poem:-) hugs jan xx