I feel your unrehearsed pauses--
the rustle of a blue shirt in leaving
a tangy ache your firm lips make,
holding back cold, collected words.
This rendezvous ... a slow-fire quiver
an ending which has it's own interment;
and outside, night wrestles with time
brittle dew against my eyes, dry mouth
licking an estranged bite that reminds me
of your frivolity . Until sighs
become hollow and stuttering
like a thirst from a weltering breakwall.
So it is with discovery,
the trails of affection are never mine
as I call you grimly,' 0 heart-breaker'
while banging shells litter on the dunes
as this heart shrinks from tangled lies:
There is still much to learn about
young passion... needles upon my chest
losing you from sight like a migrant breeze...
for a woman , fragile at eighteen.
CONTROLLING
AGONIZING
NAUSEA
CHEMO
ENERGY LOSS
RADIATION
Diagnosis cancer two-thousand and nine
Emotion overload, life frozen in time
Tracheotomy - Chemo - Radiation
Depression - Anger - Trepidation
Strong sense of survival, don't want to die
Praying to God, while starting to cry
With support of family and God above
Friends a coworkers showing their love
Chemotherapy times eight
Radiation therapy thirty-five
Nausea , dry mouth, and thing you hate
Six months later and you survived
Dry mouth, air crisp, the snap on my skin,
Room dark, curtains drawn, I stay within.
Dare not check the time, I bury my head,
Excuses keep me warm in this bed.
Yesterday’s troubles left behind,
Today, my heart’s strong, peace of mind.
Coughs and cold, sugar in check,
I rise with courage, no turning back.
Pyjamas tight, it’s a lazy day,
Perhaps a prayer to clear the way.
Outside, the world waits, blanketed white,
And though I can't see, I know it's right.
Dry mouth,
shallow breathing;
In your dessert mirage
I thought I saw a waterfall;
Dizzy,
I’m completely decimated;
It is too hot to care;
Please wet my lips,
full tilt.
Endless fields,
I don't notice them anymore.
I drive upon a video map
of ever repeating memories.
The land is flat,
the horizon hardly changes,
mile after mile
the same white noise
scratching eardrums.
Radio on --- not listening,
though somewhere in my head
Brahms has just finished
his fourth symphony,
an empty sky sighs
in my dry mouth.
A dog is barking,
a distant farm appears
through a corn haze.
Eyes back on the road again.
the ever rolling-on road -
its hypnotic hammer beats,
occasionally switching channels
in my mind.
She Walks in, Beauty in motion, Bright as sunlight,
Melting in that smile, Drowning in those eyes
Falling, I might be, Thinking of no other, Waiting for the moment
Longing that this is real, Despair that this is not, Doubting the possibility
Waiting for a moment, Hoping this is true
Pulse quickens, Sweat beading, Heart pounding
Stomach in knots, it hurts, Hands shaking, Voice stumbles
The words tumble from my dry mouth
She turns red, covers her face
And then she leaves, nothing added
Oh, what did I do?
What did I say?
I apologise, she responds
It's not clear and I can't see
Well, what's said can't be unsaid
Was I brave or a fool
I know a truth
She tried to spare my feelings
Which made it worse.
It could have been me, but not this time.
Everything that time or tide may tell
a silver birch rise in an azure sky
Moonbeam with its wrinkles and dry mouth
captivated by the mournful music
The perception of something eternal
is in itself a utopia -
but an encouragement on a cloudy day
Don't tear up the roots or retouch the story
An eternal escape as the waves
Morals and principles despite the prize
The traces of a heart that sought balm
will be buried in the underworld forever
17.03.2023
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
- 'M' Words - Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Constance La France
1st place in the contest
Although it may seem you are having a bad day... And all your troubles are here to stay... When no one's around to tell you this won't last... Tell yourself... This too shall pass...
When you wake up with the dry mouth taste... And all the tears are rolling down your face... And the cramp in your stomach won't leave with haste... Just remember in good faith... This too shall pass...
It may seem you are moving, and getting nowhere... It may seem like you're drowning in despair... It may seem like the people around you do not care... But at a day's end with a prayer... Just remember... This too shall pass...
Wanted or should i say wished
to do anything of substance
to be noticed
But went about it the wrong way
come to think of it
Should have just stuck to my guns
Stopped wanting and wishing for
thing's beyond my means
Trying to please
And just got on with my day job
Of being irreverent and irrelevant
A simple envelope filler with a
sticky tongue and dry mouth
With a mountain of bill's to pay
without means to pay them
And worst of all still no closer to
being noticed than before
Ignored by all and sundry and
finding myself agreeing with
them not me
From my throat comes no sound
my legs and feet are tight-bound in stocks,
Dry mouth, on the edge of a dream
I am living the dream, dying to scream
but my brain says, “No!”
I envision a scary future
on the other side, sutures needed;
Discovery, close enough to touch.
Close enough to touch, to cradle, to clutch
to comfort my racing heart.
Panting, swimming upsteam
just ankle deep. I’m brimming in water.
Dripping in sweat, I cannot see.
I cannot see because the dream in me
brings tears, tears which come and go.
When I’m finally free,
I trade screams for a plea of relief,
"A dream come true, perfect and fine
Far more than perfect, he’s mine.”
Motherhood is a work of art.
October 8, 2019
Do you want to know what broken feels like?
It’s the feeling when your mother tells you she doesn’t care if you’re dead
It’s the dry mouth because you’ve cried double the amount of what you drank today
Its trying to keep everyone else out of the sizzling frying pan
While you fall into the volcano
It’s walking home, but you don’t have a home anymore, so you walk until your feet give up
It’s trying to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and losing shards in your hand,
While bleeding out
Blood diluted with salty tears
It’s the inability to do anything but think;
You can’t pick up a pen anymore, you can’t write you can hardly smile because there is a fire burning behind your eyes
A fire hotter than a million suns yet colder than a killer’s heart
It burns people who get too close
So, you’re left, burned out with no one left around you
Holding the ash of your own heart
Feeling yourself drowning while you watch everyone around you swim
Telling you to ‘just breathe’
To hate yourself because too much of anything is bad for you
But you still know, nobody cares
Out of the darkness of night
crept the dawn.
Steaming with thirst,
the dry mouth sun rose—
inebriating itself with morning
dew—leaving sparkling stars of green
scattered across the quilted earth.
The greying languid sea,
annoyed by quiet cheerful winds,
laboriously moulded lethargic waves;
lethargic waves of fickle frothed faces
falling upon the pillowed shores.
Above, a lone seagull
slices through the salt-laden air—
leaving an invisible trail—salted memories
left behind by the perilous journey’s end.
Laying in the roped womb
of a verandah hammock, I cracked a smile,
humming praises to the Creator:
and gave thanks for another birth of day.
Mugs was always the one so smug,
always trying to eat the rug.
His tongue hanging out,
such dry mouth no doubt-
he was the most neurotic pug!
Now Lucky Loo was so funny,
always had the fullest tummy.
Lettuce and carrots,
little poop pellets-
he was the most hungry bunny!
As fat as a hippo was he,
needed lipo I would agree.
But loved him with pride,
always by my side-
retriever obese and chubby!
A happy home I did provide
up until the day that they died.
Pellets, plump and tongue,
they died way too young-
pets made me laugh more than I cried!
Syllable count: 8-8-5-5-8
howmaysyllables.com
*This may not be the most hilarious limerick,
but that's okay, I wanted to write something
silly about each of them.*
Any Animal or Creature Contest
September 1, 2018
Out of the darkness of night
crept the dawn.
Steaming with thirst,
the dry mouth sun rose—
inebriating itself with morning
dew—leaving sparkling stars of green
scattered across the quilted earth.
The graying, languid sea,
annoyed by quiet cheerful winds,
laboriously molded lethargic waves;
lethargic waves of fickle frothed faces
falling upon the pillowed shores.
Above, a lone sea gull
slices through the salt laden air—
leaving an invisible trail—memories
left behind by the perilous journey’s end.
Laying in the roped womb
of verandah hammock, I cracked a smile,
and humming praises to the Creator,
gave thanks for sharing another birth of day.
The Birth
1
Breathe baby—breathe.
2
Out of the darkness of night
crept the dawn;
steaming with thirst
the dry mouth sun rose
inebriating its self
with the morning dew—
leaving empty blades of grass
scattered across the landscape.
3
The lazy old sea
urged on by quite winds
laboriously spat out
lethargic waves—whimpering
tears of fickle frothed faces
repeatedly slapped at the shores.
4
A lone sea gull sliced
through the salt laden air
leaving a pasty white trail—
an umbilical reminder—left
behind the perilous journey’s end.
5
Laying in veranda hammock
of roped womb, I cracked a smile—
whispering to the Creator—singing
praises for yet another birth of day.
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