Tape Measure Poems - Poems about Tape Measure

small table inside my front door

...Garage door opener
Ice cream carton
Pencil, erasers, pencil sharpener
Magazines
Tv remote
Gummie pills
Magic markers
Towel
Black sock
Gray sandal
Sketch pad
Twinkie wrapper
Snickers bar
...

Tape Measure

...Tape Measure

The very deep breathing of 
the tape measure continues to 
affect my 
USB holders cha-cha rehearsals.
...

just a girl

...Shes just a girl!
She holds her childhood close, says the stuffed bear waiting for her on her pillow
She wants to be a good student, says her desk piled with completed assignments
She loves bright...

So Toolish!

...As years have passed and I’ve amassed
More tools than I know I need,
I have to stress that I’m impressed with
The roles and goals they fulfill.

I love the hours with power tools
And hand-held ...

Sex Almost Every Day

...My cousin-in-law’s grandma was at a party. She says, “Me and my husband had sex almost every day.” I think some of us fell out of our chairs. So she goes on, “Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday…”

...

My Friend Sharon

...My friend Sharon is the same as me as
we have decided to let it all hang free. 
No more corsets or underwire 
because we feel we are still on fire.
Without recourse to peer pressure 
or need to ...

The Bird Box

...It’d been a long day at work
So he sat in the sun
Enjoying the beer he’d earned
The day finally done

Closing his eyes he relaxed
When a persistent peep
Interrupted his dreaming
And he starte...

Ooops, That Scale

...




     That day, I was on my scale, thought I was fat?
     Till I realized, i was holding two, five pound cats!
 
        Scales are deadly, for women, it is proven true.
        Use ...

The Mouthy Tape Measure

...Santa’s workshop was full of singers of every kind of voice.
The loudest one that sounded like gravel was my cousin Joyce.
She was wrapping and humming, and they all sang along.
We are in the best...

Audition

...They examined me with tape measures in their eyes as I entered
superimposing famous female faces over my own in their minds
like pictures printed on clear plastic sheets
placing one atop another o...

No Homework

...I’m sorry I’ve no homework,
But it’s really not my fault,
I tried hard all last week to do it,
But got such a jolt!
Sat down to do my homework,
It was history that day,
The theme was myths and ...

Enthusiastic Amateur

...ENTHUSIASTIC AMATEUR


I am lying here trapped and need some assistance,
And all because of my husband’s persistence.
“You don’t have to buy any bookshelves,” he said.
“I’ll pu...

Gratification

...A Scot had once been quite handsomely built

Now with corona did not fit his kilt 

Ate all he could find

With more on his mind

Became rotund and his manhood did wilt


Isolation made th...

Members Only

...They say that the average US member is 160mm long,
don't rush for the tape measure - it might be wrong;
I'm not sure if that applies to the innuit as well,
just because they're a bit short, you ne...

Laundering Her Accounts

...New England's late May sun was long up,
and yet her laundry began to unfold
and clip onto the droopy clothesline,
while yet to warm into 8 AM.

She wore a light spring jacket
and need not think...

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