I dropped out of high school in August of 1986.
In 1993, that was a mistake that I decided to fix.
I was only fifteen years old when I dropped out.
When I ask people not to make my mistake, there is no doubt.
I studied from April of 1993 to June of 1995 and it was very cool.
I studied for twenty-six months until I graduated from high school.
Some people mistook my diploma for a GED but it's not.
I didn't take the easy way out like those people thought.
I became a high school graduate thirty years ago today.
Don't drop out of school like I did because it's not okay.
(I graduated from high school thirty years ago today on June 21, 1995)
Harvard, Princeton or Yale?
I'll take some courses by mail
Engineering or Mathematics?
I'm majoring in Acrobatics
Piano, Violin, Flute or Clarinet?
I'll play my music on the Internet
Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton or Dickens?
Give me a J.K. Rowling tale of Wiccans
Pheasant under Glass with Caviar?
Slice of pizza and fries with that, sir
Sparkling wine, Liqueur or Pink Champagne?
Make mine tapwater -- plain
Mansion or Penthouse Condominium?
A dreary shack, the bare minimum
Representative or Parliamentary Democracy?
Socialist Republic, where everything's given to me
Life offers you choices, let there be no doubt
The worst thing you can do is take the easy way out
Oh lost soul, haven't you been told?
That things get better, as one grows old.
Knowledge accumulates, and talent blossoms,
With this, grows your everlasting options.
Take the easy way out, and experience financial drought,
Or take the detour, and attract your wildest grandeur.
The choice is yours, so don't be afraid,
Step right up, and join the parade.
It'll take you places, of good and bad,
But just keep on marching, you delightful nomad.
Angels we have heard on high, watch them over glory fly.
Stealing sweetness straight from my heart, no one can tell me why we must part.
Forever gone extinguished my souls flame, sadness takes over my world becomes pain.
Broken hearted does not explain what I feel, my life over no way to ever truly heal.
Without you I am only an empty shell, I never thought God allowed this kind of Hell.
Tears pain and sorrow are all I now know, I fake a small smile but it's just for show.
Comfort and peace are all out of reach, the drugs I take can no longer span the breach.
My heart dear heart why have you gone, no one understands I'm trying to hold on.
I live on but my heart no longer beats, to end it all would be a respite a relief. But I shall not take the easy way out,I shall carry your memory your name I will shout.
And when my tortuous days shall end, I hope once more to clasp your little hand.
I gotta get my head straight
I know whats waiting
Ive been there
Ì`ve stood at hell`s gate
Instead of destroying
I`ve decided I`ll try to create
taking the steps to start fresh
Let`s call it a clean slate
I see there can be more to life
than being a decomposing pile of flesh
riddled with hate and strife
Yes my world may be a mess
but I have a choice of my path
I need not distress
like a phoenix i can rise from the ash
or
I can take the easy way out
and embrace death`s alluring caress
With those around me
I need to be honest and open
not leaving what needs to be said
lost in the ether
unspoken
Every single second, I just reallly want to shout,
To isolate myself and take the easy way out.
I feel all the time like a big failure of a guy,
Like absolutely nobody will care if I just die...
Another tear drops down to the floor,
Yet nobody even thinks of knocking on my locked door.
They don't know how much I suffer, and nobody will ever understand
Why do I want so much for everything to just end...
Getting up from my chair and unfolding the knife,
Once again I am thinking of taking my own life.
However, something out there, I don't know what,
Stops me from finally putting the last dot.
Maybe it's the promise to my best friend, that I'd never let go,
Or maybe it's the one who I loved, even though she said no?
I have no clue, yet still I put the blade away
And continue the fight, pretending I'm okay.
Her life was getting too complex
As she is feeling more perplexed
Holding that sharp razor blade
A tough decision must be made
If she should just start forgetting
The lonely life she had been living
Trying to pull far away
From her past to live another day
Or take the easy way out
Cutting veins until blood spouts
Like rain when it begins to pour
And she lays lifeless on the floor
With the blade in her shaking hand
She tries so hard to understand
Why she made the wrong decision
Putting her in this situation
Her mind starts racing to the time
She put her whole life on the line
By saying no like she was taught
Not letting herself get so caught
And trapped with such bad influence
Knowing she just blew the chance
To walk away and not do dope
And live a life of dreams and hope
She knows this chance might now be gone
And the risk of hanging on
Is her decision now to make
She’s confused which road to take
She has no more strength to fight
Until she sees a brilliant light
Shining down on her so bright
With a voice so soft and low
Saying it’s not time to go
Alone
White walls tinted blue surround.
Lights are dim,
Music plays.
3:00am roles around,
Not a sound.
Blade in hand,
Carved a path.
Alone
Pink walls shaded pale.
Lights are bright,
Searching.
4:00am comes in sight,
Which pills to take tonight.
All in sight,
Grabs water.
Alone
Blue walls shaded gray.
Lights bleak,
Crying.
4:30am is here,
heart beats near.
Popping pills at once,
Water soothes it all down.
Alone
Black as night the walls are.
Lights gone
Waiting, sleeping.
Hoping to not awake
To the on going pain.
To escape
Take the easy way out.
8:30am comes fast,
awaken with a numb feeling.
The overdose,
Failed as it showed.
Alone
White as day are the walls
Lights bright
Pain full in sight.
What looked to be the easy way out
Stopped by a higher force.
Not time to die,
Not time to end it all.
Redemption was on its way,
But no one can understand the pain
What made one go this way
To try to die,
Cut everything including time
I did try,
A few times.
But, like all things in life
It just wasn't my time
Had the pills succeded
I wouldn't know
All there is
Life has to show.
Low Road Led By Black
Potential vanished within the
dark
Flame extinguished instantly
Lights gone dark-response to
oppression
A wink in the span of time
Uniquely minute in sliver of
existence
Unable to overcome
Forced to take the downward
sloped path
Than attempt the climb to
heights
Where the lights stay on
Where the dark has been
banished
Where the slivers and winks are
eternal
Where the oppression fades
into support
Where cowards on the low path
Envy the reapers of rewards as
they spiral down
Into depths so dark so deep
There is no escape but the cold
kiss of the black
The final weak measure spent
To stave off the pressure
To take the easy way out
To leave all behind in selfish
cowardice
Small and silver feel the bite,
on this stark cold dreary night.
Run a line across my arm;
watch the razor work its charm.
A river of red courses to the floor,
As I shiver more and more.
A stream of tears flow from my eyes,
not from grief, but last good-byes.
It’s not your fault, don’t blame yourself.
I’m the one who’s in this mess.
I tried so hard to just be me.
But in the end, I was never free.
Life is hard, the pain was short.
I just wanted to take the easy way out.
Now my mind it starts to fade,
And I know that it’s my last day.
As I close my eyes, this one last time,
I say my final, last good-bye.
What are you thinking about?
I've never had this much trouble
Reading--
You never let me in
And it makes me think
You're sick of me--
That you don't want me around--
The sound
Of another person--
A different guy
Telling me he loves me--
That he wants to be mine
It's so different and new
It almost has no meaning
I say "I love you too"
But do I really?
I never gave myself time to heal--
Time to recover
I like to think of myself
As a fighter--
As someone who is strong
But the truth is
I take the easy way out
If given the opportunity
I don't know what I want in life--
Or what my calling is
All I know is that you take away
My loneliness
And keep my mind occupied
I'm so afraid you'll leave me
Like I left him
So unexpected
So sudden
I just want this to pass
I want this year to be finished
So I can start over again
With someone--
And something new
I want to feel loved
I want to feel needed
I want to feel closer to you
I miss you
I take the easy way out
Life's a luggage with knotted cords
And walking around with it is hard
I take the easy way out
From beckoning sorrows deferred
Pass lazy neon lights where others erred
I take the easy way out
Away from the half-nude scent of girls
Drowning in their disgust, vomitted pearls
I take the easy way out
Away from glasses winking with sweaty skin
Cold as ice, and bar stools staggering spin
I take the easy way out
Pass insiduous young men selling relief
At conspicuous grocers' door of grief
I take the easy way out
For I cannot be solved by a chemical solution
Gargling through my veins, it's no ablution
I take the easy way out
Not before a screaming car or in a dismal leap
The rope can do that while I sleep
I take the easy way out
And laugh, because I believe, at everything.
We fight, like kids
I’m on your level in a heartbeat
It’s was always like this
I have more experience
I have been where you are
I know how you feel
Why do you ask
If you don’t want to know
If you don’t want an answer
Let me protect you
Help you through this
Do my job
Where you are concerned
I want what’s best
I can’t turn my head, my heart
You manipulate, and avoid
That is what you always do
I know this about you, always have
You always want to run
Take the easy way out
Give in and give up
I won’t let you this time
I can’t do it this time
And I won’t let you
So I push and I push hard
Just like when you were little
That daughter, will never change
Isn’t life funny sometimes?
I have always wished for a hero in my life.
Someone to comfort, protect, and to encourage me to become the person I was meant to be.
Instead I end up with someone that has some major mistakes in his life and is paying for them
right now, with the loss of his freedom.
How do I explain the positive things this person makes me feel about myself?
Wanted, needed, empowered, safe, confident, and beautiful.
Am I being selfish in thinking that I can help this person become the person he is meant to
be?
He tells me he wants to become a successful person, what a fine line he will be walking not
to become a statistic in the system.
I will not let him hide behind or use me to take the easy way out.
He must stand on his own two feet, which I know he can do.
Many tell me I am delusional, but I need and want to have faith that this person will become
a hero he was meant to be.
If only in his own life.
Staring out into space
I bury my face in my hands
Where am I headed?
What can I do?
I’m still depressed,
Still getting over you.
I could end it all,
Take the easy way out
Carrying on is so hard to do
The only thing harder,
Is letting go of you
There was a time that I was happy
A time I felt fine
That all ended,
When you said you weren’t mine
I’m so lost in this world now
I have no clue what to do
No idea where to go
I have one last entry to make,
In that long list of dates I kept
I have letters to discard
Notes still needing trashed
It’s so hard, letting go
I don’t want to forget my happy past
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