Ring Up Poems | Examples

Premium Member Sabbath 'round the bend

   Workweek grinds to an end
     Holy Sabbath just around the bend

   Ring up the last sale, turn the key in the door
     Enter a dimension where your spirit can soar

Premium Member At the Third Stroke

"At the Third Stroke.
It will be four, four, and 40 seconds, precisely."
"At the Third Stroke.
It will be four, four, and 55 seconds, precisely."
Old timers like me can remember
when time was voiced on the telephone when you dialed '1984'.
To get the 'Speaking Clock'!
or were told the time in tolls of local church bells.
or the number of gongs of town hall clocks like 'Big Ben',
chimes on the hour, half or quarter.
When you could ring up on 'me old telephone' at
some ungodly hour in day or night,
and hear the recorded time precisely there and then.
When your grandfather's job
was to chime the time in the hall.
When God told you the time
with church bell gongs and rings.
Can you remember when you lost track of the
time, when you lost track of the count of number
of the chimes or of tolls of bells?
Less important perhaps
at midnight than midday,
but this had you reaching
for the 'Bakelite'
black telephone to
hear the time precisely,
"At the third stroke".
Or you could wait for the 'pips' on the hour,
the six short sounds on the radio,
still going strong after 90 long years.
pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip!
There 'tis some ungodly hour precisely!

Premium Member Woody the Woodpecker Continued

* This is the continued story from my Haiku ...Where is my food? About Woody the Woodpecker. 


So, hungry Woody the woodpecker was yelling at the empty feeder for food:
Clearly that day, he was not in the greatest mood!
I was held up with a health issue, so a friend went to buy the suet block
I am not sure what happened, but he picked a box of many in stock!
Then, the cashier couldn't ring up the bar code, you see...
And imagine this...gave this long box to my friend for free!
I was surprised I ended up with a box of 12 suet blocks inside!
So no worries now, Woody has plenty of food to replace outside!
He talks a little different tune, when he arrives with food there too
                    - I take that as a happy Thank You -

Heidi Sands 

11/3/22


Premium Member Notional Health Service

[What should one do in the face of startling negligence, disguised as incompetence? I know… replace your ink with vengeance and write blood curdling verses. 

What should one do if Jail isn’t on your must do list? I know… tear up version one and write a namby pamby version that won’t get anyone fired but will preserve your liberty.

What follows is version two…]


A doctor had mush for a brain
He leaped right in front of a train
When he dropped his mack
He jumped on the track
His trousers developed a stain 

His competence seems to be waning
Don’t ring up intent on complaining 
For it’s quite widely known
He can’t answer a phone
For that wasn’t part of his training

He’s so blind he barely can cope
I gave him a new stethoscope
But I giggled because
He could not see it was
A sink plunger tied to a rope

But I got the shock of my life 
The nutter’s at loose with a knife
That incompetent clown 
In a surgical gown
Is getting to work on my wife

And now I’m so thoroughly fed up
Though I proudly walk with my head up
I’d do it again
For I drove the train
But some say I shouldn’t have sped up

Christmas Bells

it come around
they ring  up and down
some   have cup ring
some sing
you can tell
its the holiday smell
chestnut bust shell
and
CHRISTMAS BELLS

The Prowler

The wind is a howling a gale,
there’s thumping and bumping outside.
There’s moans that sound very ghostly
and it shrieked like somebody cried,
so I stepped out into the darkness 
where mystery I hoped would unfold,
then whack! I am flat on me back.
Someone has knocked me out cold.

My wife helped me into the house,
and one eye is swollen and black.
I am dazed and I’m feeling befuddled,
and confused from this nasty attack.
I asked her to ring up the police;
they’ll take care of this inhuman brute,
and I know that he will not get far,
once the coppers are in full pursuit.

While dazed on the sofa, one copper 
stayed behind to make sure I’m secure,
and he winced at the sight of me eye,
from the bashing that I did endure.
And he promised me quite faithfully,
that his partner will make an arrest;
that the thug who waited in ambush
will soon be Her Majesty’s guest.

And we were not waiting too long,
for the back door came quickly ajar,
and the copper who was in pursuit, 
stood there looking a little bazaar.
He too has a swollen black eye
but the thug is no more than a fake, 
for he mentioned that I ought to know,
he stepped on the same bloody rake!”


Just Call To Say Hello

J-ust call to say hello, 
E-arly first of February; 
N-ever hesitate to ring up, 
N-or hang back to text me.

C-all to say hello, 
A-fter your sweet slumber; 
L-et the morning be free
O-f vile or bad weather.
S-peak using your phone
O-r your two-way radio; 
R-elay a simple traffic, just call to say hello.

Small Servings

'I'm having the children for dinner',
she meant it quite literally
a combination of the old
woman in the shoe and
Red Riding Hood's wolf
she was a peach most days,
til her blood lust went array,
still a humanitarian in some ways,
when it came to small-fry stew
she'd never cook up more than two,
gracious enough to ring up the parents
to inform them how well-seasoned
their children inexplicably were,
subsequently invited them for dessert
yet, she would never dine on
 anyone over three - -
hardly tender enough to whet
one's appetite, when they arrived
told mum and dad the kids
had gone yonder for a quick dip,

proceeded to serve up
sugar and spice and
everything nice 
on a fresh bed of 
snips and snails and
puppy dog tails 

 Bon Appetit

Trick or Treat

Changin' This Mess

Great britain 
Great big mess 
Mess with the status quo
Mess with Merkel a bit more  
More houses 
More hugs 
Hugs for the Scots
Hugs for the broker 
Broker of Doom
Broker fiscal swim ring
Ring up the bank 
Ring for a mortgage 
Mortgage your kidneys 
Mortgage your air 
Air on the h string
Air plane escape plan 
Plan your future
Plan your time
Time is running down 
Time to grow a pair 
Pair of sunglasses 
Pair of people 
People with a coup to plan 
People will rise up 
Up to their keyboards 
Up to standard 
Standard pronunciation 
Standard stories 
Stories for facebook 
Stories small and great  
Great old Church 
Great big clock 
Clock tick tocks 
Clock won’t stop
Stop smoking those herbs    
Stop polluting the air 
Heir to what
Heir to nothing 
Nothing risked 
Nothing stained 
Stained blue jeans
Stained glass window
Window of opportunity 
Window of time
Time of your life 
Time is a changin’
Changin’ anyone left behind   
Changin’ our flag
Flag 
Behind

Politics Horn Kiss Poem of the Day

Politics Horn KISS Poem of the Day

Of each one of Republicans and Democrats
Which ones do you think are total ding bats?

Their total intelligence is so low that it
won't even ring up on a cash register.
No wonder we always need to keep
so much change on hand which are
always pennies because they are not
worth a plug nickel. I tried to keep a
penny for their thoughts but they
kept trying to spend it.

Jim Horn

Premium Member Moon

O moon, to you I turn tonight

To you I smile with hidden delight

For in you I found my own charm

For you did ring up my love alarm


A love letter sent to my door

Signed in red ink, Moon

O my darling lunar Thor

I accept to be your SailorMoon


O moon, in your rays I bath

Your beauty I shall not scath

You are my only reason

You are my only passion


How to reply to your letter

Fatuously do I wonder

Maybe if I close my eyes

My glee shall turn to your skies


O moon, love me more

Make me the wife of Thor

I shall rule each of your molecule

As the Queen of all Majuscule!


Date : 8th April 2013

Love Or Something Like That

In one more week, loves season will peak.
Where lovers can find what a true heart will seek.
The fragrance of February flows in the breeze.
And even some men will get down on their knees.
 
The florists and drug stores will ring up their tills.
As graveyard shifts come in and clean up what spills.
The day will go on as it does every year.
As some will just sit there still lost in their fear.

So let cupids arrow find softness in heart.
Then maybe the day can give love a start.
And lifes little longings will bring down the rain.
Of kindness to help you dissolve all the pain.

Premium Member The New Economy After the Elections

They travel
Distances
To work at the new factory
At the mall
To sell
To persuade
To show 
To ring up sales
To stock shelves
And keep merchandise neat and attractive.

Customers 
Look
Touch
Examine
Feel and perhaps
Buy.

Standing on their feet 
Workers wonder
How does an 
An $8.00 an hour job
Minus benefits
Zero coverage
Negative career
Compute
In their lives?

Their parents had jobs
Some for thirty years 
In a real workplace
Free from outsourcing
Goods made in China
High unemployment
And foreclosures. 

The store mannequin tells workers to break it up
Back to their counters
To do what they’re being paid for
But there is much more beneath the surface of his words
A threat 
Real or imagined
The workers listen
Because there is nowhere to go 
Nothing else to do.
In the new economy.

The young have energy
To organize
To demonstrate
To petition
For real change
Time is on their side
For a better tomorrow.

Morning News About the Prince

I went to get a fresh newspaper this morning
Wrapping the soiled news of yesterday
In superficial sensation
And the city scurried there
Their eyes were brightly beaming
The Prince will marry her, someday
Handsome Prince Harry is in love
He gave her a ring
With memories of a withered tradition

I did not know if was the fairytale
The fed us with as children
I did not know if we surrendered
Our own chances of heaven
And there was one guy in the news
Who was so happy and yet confused
For he will work extra hours and take home less
Just to pay for it
A pint of beer, a mug of ale
They will ring up the profit
That he was charged only to forget it.

Positive Mental Attitude

I’m one hell of a guy
You should give me a try
I’m the kind you 
Could take home to mother
I can fix anything
With a nail and some string
And I really am
Quite a good lover

I’m a nice king of fellah
And I’d like to tell ya
I’m nothing at all
Like my brother
I am clever and smart
And I have a good heart
And you’ll find I’m
An excellent lover

I’m a wonderful bloke
Now this isn’t a joke
I’m a man quite unlike
Any other
I am sweet I am kind
And I’m certain you’ll find
I am such
An incredible lover

So if you feel that way
And you want me to play
Just ring up 
And give me a call
I’ll be with you tout suite
For I’m dying to meet
And I’m certain that 
You'll have a ball

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