Jerden Poems - Poems about Jerden

Spoonerism Poetry: She's Too Titty

...She’s too titty to be a preacher.
She can’t even bead a rook.
A rental deceptionist?  Maybe.
At my teeth she once look a took.

As a wean clerker, she’ll never do.
I once caught her nicking her...

In Sain Plight

...Alliteration is awesome;
thanks to thee
it effortlessly erases evidence
of spoonerisms.

Spooky.



Written February 29th, 2016
For the Spoonerisms Contest hosted by Roy Jerden...

Vodge Diper

...The day started badly as I had a bat flattery on my vodge diper

It was roaring with pain when I arrived at the par cark at the mall
Went to put my bopping in the shoot and I turned into a bow...

That Dog Don't Hunt

...I once knowed a poet named Jerden
Who ain't atall stuck on his wordin'
    If they judge 'em unsound
    He may nudge 'em around
And don't atall find it a burden

February 24, 2016...

A Top Ten For Humor At the Soup

...(My list is in no particular order of importance. All these poets are equally humorous for me!)

Jan is one great funny lady writing here at Soup.
Just beware; sometimes she finds humor in our poo...

Cowboy Xmas

...Roy Jerden,Roy Jerden
Join me in the stable
Leave that xmas tree
Leave that xmas light
Rider is no parlourmaid
The saddle is yawning
Join me in the stable 
Today we shall ride
To mountains an...

Poetry Soup Heros

...Poetry Soup Hero's

Poets with golden ink and pens 
You make us move forward with your inspiration
With kind an honest, encouragement  and compliments 
Small act of caring all which has the pote...

Love Biscuits

...Walking the yard with shovel in hand
Cruising back and forth just as planned
Trying to pick up every last pile
If the wife steps in one she gets hostile

Didn't think this through from the start...

Poop-Tale : For Contest

...POOP - TALE : for contest

No embarrassment , everyone poops
So relaxed is the feel after all 's out
No gold and riches can ever buy such feel
I am sure all will agree silently though!
We get t...

Blue Ice

...a freak accident

hit by frozen leaking waste

      now six feet under


-------------------------------
  Contest: Everyone Poops
     Sponsor: Roy Jerden...

In My Present Absence

...In my present absence
I’m trying to remember where I misplaced the key
To unlock the door to my own existence

I rise with the smelting icecaps
Only to come crashing down with the rising levels ...

Bombs Away

...Though fully dressed for a wedding
I could not resist the buffet,
Fine lipstick wore off for a refill
Of dessert from a laden tray.

Soon, full tummy began to roll
Up, down like the...

Porthos Starshipbroken

...Porthos Starshipbroken?

There was a dog on Enterprise
Whose smell T’Pol like to exorcise–
A beagle named Porthos,
On Capt. Archer’s bed, he would repose.

Where did Archer pick up this hound?...

No Big Deal

...No big deal






Lot of time bushed in the washroom,
His mind was stuck in colonic loops,
Painfully shy was the young groom,
What big deal when everyone poops !





Written July 28t...

Too Late Jeanette

...There was an old lady called Jeanette.
Who wiggled in line for a toilette.
        She said, "I can't wait!
        I fear it's too late.
And my bottoms a bit more than wet."



Everyone poop...

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