Parody Poems

By invitation from a trusted friend, 
a medium intervention took place and I went.
The building set in the thick forest by a shimmering lake,
some broken sheds looking sad and strange to take.
Weeded and worn the manor house thatch,
a frail welcome...Read More

One More

Ingredients are a funny thing. 
Timing is probably more important. 
But it is hard to say really. 

I cooked all day, but…
I wanted it to be perfect, but…
I thought I had it, but…

The turkey refused to get in the...Read More

Sarah Shopper!
Coupon please budget-y listen
and bankruptcy understand

That ATM Terminator is out there — 
It can’t be mall bargained with,
nor consumer reasoned with

An Automated Teller Machine 
doesn’t feel purse pity,
or cancelled check remorse
Or insolvency fear

And it absolutely 
will not cash register...Read More

On the night before Christmas, alone in my house, 
Sorrow gnawed at my soul, like a ravenous mouse.
Entombed in my blankets, I struggled to sleep,
Ready to snap if I counted more sheep.

I rose at the sound of scratching and creaking.
“Who’s...Read More

This is a parody, based on Robert Frosts's Poem,
" Stopping by the Woods. "


~~~The Warm And Furry Coat----

(Based on Robert Frost)

Whose coat is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite happy though.
Full of joy like a vivid rainbow.
I watch...Read More

In his chair he'll watch a movie
Traveling fast to parts unknown
In reach, a mini frig with beer
Oh, look how the kids have grown!

His back pain is a coincidence
It's been said he's in denial
Yes he has sores on his rump,
What is...Read More

The End of I

I'm so lonesome I could cry,
I was born but don't know why.
Spirits whispered I would surely die
So I sing my sorrows to the sky:
Farewell fell world, adieu, goodbye!
Remoter mansions I espy
With peace to them who therein lie
In...Read More

Set your willy on fire boys, 
set your willy on fire 
Dance and sing and hop and scream 
and set your willy on fire....Read More

Gave Mr. Bro’ man a couple of dollars,
with a frown gave he a backhand holla
Said my alms were light,
and my palms were tight
Man, how I hate ingrate red stop collars!...Read More

Scarlet is a southern belle quite spoiled,
she is very beautiful with flawless skin;
this southern belle has many beaus,
fiddle-dee-dee is her favorite reply!

Great balls on fire she has a temper,
but within Scarlet is a great strength;
she fights for her home and...Read More

Leaning toward cannibalism?
You might want to give it a go
Overall they're not a bad lot,
They are people too, you know

Paranoia runs quite rampant 
Amongst any Cannibal troupe
Looking down trodden or weary
May cause you to land in the soup!

Careful you don't...Read More

(Played to the tune, “When Sly Calls,”
by Michael Franks)

When Trump tweets,
Mo’ scowls furrow

When Trump tweets,
the scandals grow

As rumors shake,
idle sits the Boss
Bankrupt morality
is the grifter cost

When Trump tweets,
the rubles spin

When Trump tweets,
the dictators win

Decorum falls,
indecency begins
And on Fox tv the...Read More

Mr. Archie Bunker
For the good ole days did hunker
   
   Confronted with 'ethnics' or punkers
   He turned green at the gills...went bonkers
...Read More

Mama I Want to Play… with apologies to Frank Loesser

Layla, my puppy: I really can’t stay
Me: (But Layla I asked you to)
I wanna go play
(Oh puppy I’m begging you)
This sit and not run (you are so sweet) 
is killing me
(I...Read More

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
I believe I know what you are!
You fuse hydrogen, helium, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, nickel, and some more
In your core.
With mass more than a hundred to thousands of times our own.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
You formed from collapsing...Read More

When our traveling's up, it's time to fire it up
Propane!
Since that sunshine has passed, it's time to light the gas
Propane!

It's all right, it burns bright, when you light
Propane!

When the camp is cold, you don't have to be told
Propane!
You must open...Read More

Tasting on goody almondy
escape into broody
Felt moody
I'm nobody
life a parody
cared? nobody.
laughed? everybody.
I don't want tragedy
neither comedy
no people of shady,
no clings of needy,
but a buddy
who is not noddy,
a life almost steady
 like somebody....Read More

Webbed lip toadies,
their tongues do  do stink of lies
As they leapfrog from excrement places
that do  do attract flies

Brown tongue toadies,
their sticky web of dysentery deceit
stinks of foul breath duplicity

For they do  do double dip in 
toilet ponds...Read More

I was old when he was a baby
my feline loved me ardently, but he drove me crazy.

He loved to play at midnight when everyone slept,
Chewed on toys and on my covers he often crept.


Meow Meow, baby scratched me 
Meow Meow,...Read More

Two toads appear in a lonely wood
One may be bad, the other may be good
Each claimed their route to be the best
They challenged me to take their test

Enchanted forest myths pose questions
So often paths part in two directions
Did not think...Read More

Preheat oven to extreme

beat whites with scream of anger
add cup of mixed nuts
when soft peaks develop, slowly add venom
when it is glossy, add ego, seethe for 20 minutes

Serving size: 1/2 of truth
Number of servings: millions...Read More

“next to of course progress my planet i
love you, the ocean and the environ-
ment every person whether gay or bi
or trans or black, hispanic or asian
muslim pagan atheist or hindu
social justice and ecowarriors
illegal immigrants and felons too.
but conservatives, whites and...Read More

The sow beauty queen’s 
favorite color is money green
The cloven jaw cutie’s
favorite sound is “cha-ching”

Miss Piggy Lips loves how the cash registers
throughout the land constantly rings

That jade oinkment noise
is a pigmentary salve to her greedy soul
She’s got a glut appetite...Read More

Baby shark, voh dee oh doh
Baby shark, voh dee oh doh
Baby shark, voh dee oh doh
Baby shark, voh dee oh doh

Momma shark, voh dee oh doh
Momma shark, voh dee oh doh
Momma shark, voh dee oh doh
Momma shark, voh dee oh...Read More

I wonder how Donald Trump thought
and felt
about his King Midas political narrative
at the time of his electoral college victory.

Well,
actually I don't need to wonder.
He mentioned, once or twice,
how thrilled he was with well-marketed turnout
at his self-celebratory inauguration.

Still,
I wonder how these...Read More