Thank You For Calling

Thank you for calling Your Destruction. If you’re calling to bring forth your personal hell, press 1. If you’re calling for emotional devastation, press 2. If you’re calling to enact physical harm, press 3. …Thank you. Your Destruction is now offering a summer sale. If you are interested, please fill out the survey on Your Destruction website. …Please hold…please hold…please hold…please hold on for as long as you can… Please hold; the bringer of your doom will be with you in a moment… Hello. It’s nice to hear from you again. What can I do for you that will make you regret your life choices? I see. Sorry to hear that. Would you like to include your friends and family? I understand. Your Destruction will ensure that your life is utterly ruined once I’m done. Have a nice day!