Long Humor Poems
Long Humor Poems. Below are the most popular long Humor by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Humor poems by poem length and keyword.
A mix of a mothers love and fathers's fight
Her sense of humor brought the light
In my complicated dark world of e
She OD me with her love and tells me to shut my mouth
Am i not high enough?
Naive maybe because she's young
Only 17 when she fell in love
With I who never believed in such
Tinkerbell, i called her that
She played fool all her life
But i swear tinker was smart
With a touch of finesse she stole my heart
But commitment isn't where i shine
Broken in my feelings i let her ride
She said goodbye
Unique in her own ways
We connected just in 3 days
Couldn't belive my eyes when i set them on her first
Her sweet voice and the chubby cheeks were the quench to my love thirst
Unexpectedly she left me dry
She also said i was high enough she said goodbye
Sad how love dies
Deep in my feelings even drugs cant pull me
High enough
Ex-President Trump had a near miss recently. That can be traumatizing.
We know how it is, our old republic survived a near insurrection recently.
At least Trump's assailant was killed, he can rest easy.
Thanks to faux-jurisprudence, our felon is still out there - on the loose.
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Songs for this:
Run On by Elvis Presley
Use Me (feat. Cynthia Greene) by The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir
Order My Steps by The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir
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I love gospel music, maybe because I’m from Georgia, the home of MLK, civil rights and the Ebenezer Baptist Church. Lisa (who lives in Manhattan) and I’ve made two pilgrimages to the Brooklyn Tabernacle to hear the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. I admit that I’m a heathen and a pagan but when I hear a gospel choir - I'm easily reduced to tears, and I’m moved to at least wish that I believed.
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I would never wish Mr. Trump harm. I would like to see him loose fairly and resume his opulent, civilian life.
You're a person who we shouldn't have hired.
You were the mail lady but now you're fired!
You are a moron, you don't have a lick of sense.
You've been reading people's mail, that's a federal offense.
You read a married man's letter to his lover who is pregnant with his child.
You told his wife and now he's going to sue us, because of you he's riled.
Two days ago you stole a child's money when his uncle mailed him cash.
When I decided to hire you, I had no idea that I was hiring a piece of trash.
I'm so pissed off that I'm starting to pace the floor and shout.
Leave now and please let the door hit your ass on your way out.
(This is a fictional poem)
FRED THE PERV.
Kinky Fred stole knickers off the line
One summer night his haul totalled nine
His spree ended in tears
Got an extra ten years
When Judge Sue said that red pair were mine.
LARS.
A young astronaut from NASA called Lars
Blasted off from Cape Kennedy to Mars
But then there was a glitch
When he pressed the wrong switch
Last seen heading at warp speed to the stars.
PETE.
A young pianist from New York called Pete
Could play William Tell using his feet
But he fell of his chair
And he started to swear
Was booed off and thrown into the street.
JOHNNY GABLE.
A mean old waiter called Johnny Gable
Saw a man choke to death on a bagel
He then shifted his body
To the side of the lobby
Said forgive me but we need the table .
O'TOOLE.
A forgetful pilot Johnny O'Toole
Was over the north sea flying to Bule
Then both engines spluttered
Under his breath muttered
Looked at his gauge and screamed no ruddy fuel.
OLD GANGSTER.
An old gangster rose from rags to riches
Got rid of all his traitors and snitches
They'd find in their bed
A racehorses head
Or find themselves sleeping with the fishes.
THE BAKER.
An unwashed old baker from Idaho
Had filthy fingers when kneeding the dough
Folk choked on his paella
Some died from salmonella
Got closed down and ended up on skid row.
O'KEEFE.
A fella by the name of O'Keefe
Was the long serving town's police chief
Someone stole the mess cookies
Everyone blamed the rookies
But it turned out O'Keefe was the thief.
AMOUROUS MICHAEL.
Amourous young Michael from Mayo
At a girls house he tried to stayo
She started to shouto
And then kicked him outo
Said she" you're not staying no wayo."
NIGERIAN POEM THIEF.
A sly poem thief from Nigeria
On the soup caused a mass hysteria
He stole soupers work
Soupers went beserk
On the run now cos he's in fear of ya.
Written 18th august 2019.
I know I’m really shaking the flu thing because I awoke at 4am totally energised. The first thing I did was Lysol all of my computers and gadgets. Peter was sleeping, but holding the Lysol can, I eyed him - finally deciding that spraying him down might wake him up.
At 4:30am I texted Charles, “Let’s run” and he was grinning outside my door at 5:30am (our regular time).
Why did they remake the Wuthering Heights movie? We had to read WH in 10th grade - it’s like 350 pages of unhinged gossip and Heathcliff, the dark, Byronic, anti-hero is a paranoid narcissist that any modern girl would dump the first time he mouthed off.
None of my Grammy picks, though nominated, won anything. I guess I’m old and out of touch.
sad, fat, cat hat - I suppose I had to rhyme something.
see ya.
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Songs for this:
The world I used to know by Rod McKuen
Better Everyday by sadHAPPY
Kissing Strangers by DNCE
Dive In (feat. Notelle) by Westend
Quote By Poet "A zoo trip can put a zip in your walk and zeal for being outside with the animals."
Off to the zoo we all went with no clue,
Sally ~ Zack filled with pep.
The big striped zebra did not moo
zeal in his step.
Walking the long winding zig-zag walkway,
we wanted a cold drink.
What a very hot summer's day,
we all wore pink.
The fun day and animals had ended,
now off to home with zip.
Dinner will be hot and splendid,
zucchini ~ dip.
Date Written: 12/24/2022
1 Place
HowManySyllables and RhymeZone
Writing Challenge - Zip, Zig, Zag, Zing Poetry Contest Sponsored by: Constance La France
Students everywhere feel a close relationship with summer. It develops early and you never lose it. It’s durable.
Le’ts poeticize..
It was a youthful summer of unblemished mirth.
In play, our youthful hours were freely spent.
We bore such idleness - we were indulgent.
Until Lisa confessed, she was less so content
and longed desperately for a ‘wholesome reunion’
with her love (Dave) and to resume that courtship in the same
fevered spirit as when they last parted, in Paris.
“Life’s complicated,” Lisa offered, at the end of our talk.
“So complicated,” I agreed.
It’s amazing how quickly a plan can coalesce.
ANNND, we’re back in Manhattan, at Lisa’s (parents) 50th floor residence.
I asked Karen (Lisa’s Mom) once, “If you own this (a floor of a building) is it called an apartment, a condominium..,” my voice faded on the question.
“A residence,” she answered after a moment’s thought. She’s a lawyer.
Georgia got too hot. Not to dwell on the grotesque side of girlhood - but enough sweat already.
Shakespeare (Henry IV) wrote, “sweat extraordinarily, if it be a hot day.” Yep, done that - for really.
In lieu of all our pains, we now want AC, high-end amenities, constant concierge services and stunning views.
We’ll be back in New Haven in nine short days - and back in class in eighteen.
Call 911, someone’s stolen our summer!
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Songs for this:
New York City Serenade by Bruce Springsteen
New York State of Mind by Billy Joel
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i've only just met
hern pretty
i've wish'd i'd
order'd hern
sooner
for
now there iz
shrapnel
and pieces
uv
rubber
uv
uv
it
rhymes with
t!ts
the voice of the voiceless
there is a brave voice
in the midst of the
silent ones
he bleed with the
words of truth
and create confusion
in the midst of lie's
he always stand
at the front line
and lead his people
to the light of hope
their is a brave voice
in the midst of cowards
this voice scares
corrupt men in power
a voice of God
this voice shines
like the sun
brave more like a lion
fearless like a God
their is a voice
in the countryside
where gangs
are the master of
the game of devaluation
this voice brings
joy to the poor
while it expose the
wicked
a voice so strong
with the power
of change
is the voice of God
spoken only by
truthful brave humans
For the life of me I can't understand,
Why you can't fall in love.
I never bring roses on a first date,
Always opting for a live dove.
You hit the linoleum so quick,
Without even the slightest shove.
As the front door slammed,
off your feet you were knocked.
Almost fell off the chair,
As you drank whilst I talked
Tripped over my left foot,
As we danced interlocked.
Almost passed out with,
An allergic reaction to steak?
Jumped out of my car before,
I could even hit the brake.
Broke year heel running away,
Tumbling over the hidden rake.
You're lucky I caught you when,
You fell back from my first kiss.
This whole night has been,
Full of the 'falling' near miss.
Fall in love with me one more time, I know,
I will sweep you off you feet into eternal bliss.