First try at limericks
If not correct could some genius limerick writer advice ... ta <3
AABBA 5 LINES
There once was an old man called santa
Who loved a big glass of cold fanta
He grew fatter and fatter and fatter
Couldn’t stop eating sausage in batter
He sure had good banter
you have heard of run-on-sentences
Milly is full of run-on-banter
if she has a pause, it is isochromonal
nothing stops her inane monologues
she is unwelcome at most family events
the lunchroom at her work shuts down when she arrives
she is shunned, without having any idea why
The Grass
HER. I almost forgot. The lawn looked dry.
HIM. What lawn?
HER. Ours. I noticed while I was waiting for you tonight...in the car.
HIM.I wish you wouldn't do that. Baumgartner is always ribbing me about it.
HER. Wish I wouldn’t do what?
HIM. Wait in the car until we leave.
HER. Joey Baumgartner should mind his business.
HIM. The sprinklers have a schedule. You have to admit it's a little nutty.
HER. Sitting in my own car, in my own driveway, in front of my own house. I wouldn’t need to if you were on time.
HIM. I’m not that late.
HER. You're always late. You should water the grass when we get home.
HIM. It'll be close to ten when we get home. Besides it's not good for it.
HER. What? It's grass.
HIM. It gets mold if you water at night.
HER. So? It's grass.
HIM. All the experts say it's bad for the grass.
HER. Well, my experts say it's good for the water bill.
HIM. Fine. I'll water the grass.
Speak of the "Stripes"
Speak of the "Stars"
Speak "Hate" of "Others"
In "Racist Rant Bars"
Speak of your "Country"
Speak of your "Pride"
Speak with "Proud Voice"
The "Hate" kept "Inside"
Speak of "God's Love"
Speak of "Gold Shelves"
Speak "Hate" of "Freedom"
Speak for "Yourselves!"
Driving through the desert vast
sands of time gather, wind strewn
word games and banter reacquaints
from shorn years arise a stagnant dune
tears fall from a grey leaden sky
as bittersweet moments pass by
It's just some banter,
It's what they all say,
But sometimes just banter means they need to find a lantern,
So they can find a way to stay,
To walk through the dark that is their mind,
To walk through the pond,
That is yet so blind,
It's just some banter,
Tell that to me,
I know a kid who needed some love,
But because of some banter she has given up,
Because of the banter that they sold,
Because of the banter that has been unfold,
Because of the banter that is unlinked,
And yet the banter is still the only thing that can stay,
When everything else leaves.
Galaxy you shine of dreams
Comet races like my heart
Big Dipper comes a courting
Dressing the night with stars
Bed of clouds soft and warm
Pillow talk deserves an answer
Swelling moon full of charm
In your arms star of the banter
Life as we know it
Is spiralling out of control
It’s all become so precious
What will be the end goal?
Don’t say this ,don’t say that
Offence will be taken
Please don’t mention gender
As you could be very mistaken
Life’s no longer simple
Now totally confusing
Can’t afford to rest on your laurels
Or be caught snoozing
Next ,it will be ban the banter
No more jokes to be told
So we can all become robots
Totally controlled …..
Circle up chums
My five-minute friends
Let serene quips
Raucous banter
And sudsy bellows
Ooze from every plank
Stable and knotted enough
To absorb the welts below
Testimony joins the fun
Sworn in by tongues
Worth of beggar truth
Slapped with blackened humor
Salted to retard the melt
In favor of icy declaration
Some conjure regimes
From ancient repression
Or schooled outside the core
To relinquish victory
Unattainable and undeterred
For degradation spawned
From amusement's render
Because nocturnal chatter
Logs off the clock
To join the mythic lore.
(3/12/08)
If they have to point out it is banter
cus you didn’t realise it as banter
As they left no clue it was banter
The simple fact is it’s not banter
Banter’s quick wit the sort with charm
not blunt brain dead comments which harm
banters apparent with its own alarm
you know to reply with words not arms
Some will insult you then say what it is
banter they say but the humour's a miss
the standard they bant to tells you just this
have they a brain or a head full of piss
One reason banter is something some hate
Many don’t get it run their lip like an ape
after an insult “it’s just banter mate”
pointing it out then banter it ain’t
Acting a prat is a different thing too
don’t justify actions stupid you do
a prat you are and stupid are you
It’s not banter not close I tell you true
Banter only works against a near IQ
you can’t banter with someone much dumber than you
Banter is something the dumb do different
They are not canny or clever they’re just a blunt
Restless Banter
Ticka ticka...ticka
Throughout my forest
Coming and going
Like to trains in the
darkness
Still I have a
Destination
With their headlights
Sharing the night together
Unlike your Mr Asimov
Whom I hear likes Rachmaninoff
My limericks are clean
the point clear to be seen
Perhaps he drinks too much Smirnoff!
Spelling used is how the man spelt his name when writing English.
This facile teasing,
is so fluent and pleasing-
Along the shore of infatuation,
bringing to me a longing sensation.
You banter with such ease,
may all my sorrow slowly cease-
Singing tunes of meaningful nights,
and bringing to me sensual magical sights.
Eloquently suggestive,
silver-tonged and impressive-
Vivid dreams of articulated words,
speaking in verses only love can be heard.
A fever with chills,
oh, you my sweet fulfill
each and every part that needs air-
such freedom in the way you always care.
Elegant in each touch,
passion that means so much-
Voluble with sincerity and inspiration,
so grateful for your God-given lovely creation.
Eloquent Banter; You Tease Me So Nicely
Edward McCall
February 9, 2018
I see the twinkle in both your eyes.
the sneaky grin you try not to show.
always trying to get a rise.
But every time i always seem to know.
Your heart is kind and your so caring.
I will always cherish a good friend like
you.
The teasing and humor we always like
sharing.
Never no dishonesty that we see thru.
Material things don't exist with you &
me.
Your playfulness and your teasing do.
The twinkles in your eyes is the love
from you i see.
Never change yourself because i'm so
happy with just you.
From the slide of hand and teeth chatter,
my eyes, don’t expand with me madder.
Cause she’s aware of the emphasis,
so despair isn’t imminent,
when she’s prepared to dissect me in increments,
but my nose doesn’t flare, it’s interesting, innocence,
when ping ponging ignorance
is shared with smiles and strawberry licorice.
2/04/18 'Eloquent banter; You tease me so nicely' contest
Sponsored by: Edward McCall
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