Best Nuts Poems
Nutty as a fruitcake
No one wants to be; Nuts
Normally bring to mind
Nature's hard-shelled tree fruits,
Nutritious and yummy.
Naughtily I will add
Nude men are showing two!
April 30, 2017 for Kim Merryman's Pleiades N Contest
Poetic Crimes
On and on
they go
the vaccine makes three heads
and sixteen toes
An elephant trunk
and five giraffe necks
not to mention a terrible
desire for Bill Gates micro softy
The 1600's sure had a basket
of stupid apples
how they bred them youngins
into 2021 is scary
Fools existed from the beginning
they will quote gods to the very end
while ventilators count one by one
their last feeble heart beats
Good riddance to the selfish few
go die and let us be
sadly a few will make it
moronic slugs murdering the
innocent
Chewy chocolate chip bars
finger licking good
soft butter sugars oats stir
fold in flour mixture
add chips and walnuts
spoon spread and
bake !
Just In Time For Back To School LOL
Chocolate Chip-Oatmeal-Walnut Bars
Whole wheat flour and oatmeal add whole-grain goodness to chewy chocolate chip bars.
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 1/4 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
Dash salt
1 (12-oz.) pkg. chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts, toasted*
1. Heat oven to 375°F. Beat butter in large bowl at medium speed until soft and smooth. Beat in brown sugar, sugar and vanilla. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
2. Combine oats, whole wheat flour, all-purpose flour, baking soda and salt in medium bowl.
3. Slowly add flour mixture to butter mixture, beating until well-blended. Stir in chocolate chips and walnuts. Spoon and spread dough in ungreased 15x10x1-inch pan.
4. Bake 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown; cool on wire rack.
TIP *To toast nuts, place on baking sheet; bake at 375°F. for 4 to 6 minutes or until pale brown and fragrant. Cool.
32 bars
In the dimmed theater, the stage is set
not for a play though, yet a performance
one of baton, brass, notes, timpani
the performance I have waited for has come
As the stage lights grow brighter like sunlight
the theater grows dimmer yet, almost dark
but for the brilliance of the stage lights
then out you come with French Horn in hand
Along with thirty of forty other musicians
you take the stage, you are first chair
therefore you must be at your best tonight
and I know that you will be, you've practiced
The Conductor arrives on stage and announces
Welcome to the Black Hawk County Honor Band
I am sure you will be pleased with our selections
The Conductor takes the podium, opens his arms
With baton in hand he signals instruments ready
You raise your horn along with the others
ahhh the sound is fervent with excitement
the theater is alive with Parker in G flat
I can pick your horn from all the other instruments
you are playing the best you have ever played
you are caressing your horn like a fine jewel
and it sparkles in the light brilliance unimagined
Like your brother the writer of poetic beauty
you also have talent, musical talent like I
you now can hear a song and play it, by ear
like I you are learning the guitar, teaching yourself
The next song, Bach, such beauty to my ears
you and your fellow musicians have mastered the master
two years you have played, it sounds like many more
I film the whole concert, to preserve the moment
The concert ends with a Beethoven, in B how lovely
again you played masterfully, never missed a note
You even hit high G, and you thought you couldn't
well done son and it's all on tape, and in my memory
Red faced you leave the atrium, you worked so hard
I hug you and tell you how proud I am of you
all you want is a drink of water, you drank and
the redness is leaving your face, well done I hug you again
I wish your Brother could have been here to see and hear
he would have been proud too, and would have hugged you
You see, talent runs in our family, Me, you and Jared
all have it, So I guess it's in the gene pool, must be for you see
The Nuts fall close to the tree !
Fell in love with a coconut
The tree stood tall outside my hut
Love sublime at first sight
I thought I‘d have a bite
Lost both front teeth right on the spot
AP: 3rd place 2020
Posted on January 17, 2019
Life is like a nut,
Differs in shape, size, color or crust,
Life is like a nut.
For some, it’s like a coconut,
Beyond the reach, safe from gust
Very important, much privileged!
Whether unripen or matured.
For some it’s like a peanut,
Malleable, fit in budget
Widely spread, versatile no doubt
However, down and out.
For some it’s like a walnut,
You can see the eminence clear cut
Set comfortably in its dwell,
In a hard stilted shell.
For some it’s like a pine nut,
Gazes weird I tell you what
Shielded with strong beautiful woody cone,
Prevents you! to invade its zone.
For some it’s like a cashew nut,
Self-interested, pricy somewhat
Tightly attached with red pulpy drupe,
Be cautious! While shelling the fruit
For some it’s like a chestnut,
Down-to-earth, graceful but,
Surrounded with sharp spines called “Bur”
All adversities ought to conquer.
Life is like a nut,
Differs in shape, size, color or crust,
Life is like a nut.
When coco de mer trees were found
Their nuts had most people enthralled
They all thought they looked erotic
So "Love Nuts" is what they were called
Still unknown how they reproduce
Explained in some of the wild tales
On stormy nights, the female trees
Are approached by uprooted males!
Viewing this mating process though
Would cause you to die or go blind
Seek not shelter under male trees
They might come at you from behind!
Thrown together
by circumstances
outside our realm
of control-
as in a bowl
our varied shells
create a still-life
a study in contrasts
of creative coverings
devised so well
Some like smooth pebbles
all polished and shiny
or rough and scarred
all coarse and craggy
Some barely masked like
peanuts, thin and papery
others heavily armored
walled off, impenetrable
Light and dark
bitter and sweet
mere tender morsels
in our shells
vulnerability itself
delicately raw
ever so fragile
and flimsy-frail
Need for these shells
protective coverings
begs the question-
Who hurt you?
which echoes back
over and over
to you
and you
and you
and you-
Who hurt you?
Was it your mother
father, brother?
Sister, cousin, uncle
aunt?
Can't we figure out who
hurt who?
Can't we stop this
question chant?
Who hurt you?
Who hurt you?
Who hurt who?
Some would like to
crack the shells
open every one
up wide-
But, for me
I'd have to take
quite a different side
For shells are Nature's
loving way
of protecting
what is good
so shells are not
the enemy
they're doing
what they should!
Split my banana and stuff it with cream
top with tantalizing treats to extreme
nuts and silky sweetened balls
gooey toppings form seawalls
nothing left out of a lover's wet dream
Soup or nuts
pollyticks or follyticks
hifallutin or piki-oontin
squirrels with stuffed cheeks
dash along our crimson path -
nuts for fall!
Oldie submitted 2/1/22
For the Squirrel Haiku Poetry Contest of Robert James Liguori
Some think love and romance are sublime
Others feel they're a big waste of time
Both views maybe so
But there's one thing I know
Candy prices are surely a crime!
I'll buy her candies and flowers and charms
When we kiss I'll hear bells and alarms
But one thing can't compare
Is when I'm standing there
Silently holding her close in my arms!
For: Francine Roberts
Valentine's Day Limerick contest
Everyone has to stand
Either side of the belt
In two big lines.
Line managers fill
Reserve boxes full of nuts.
Then comes the chocolate.
A column of chocolate.
We have to stand and
Watch out for the frays in the belt.
We must stay in our lines
And trust the boxes have been refilled
With nuts.
Unending boxes full of nuts,
An unending formation of chocolate
Coming closer to where we stand.
Moving hands ahead blur the belt,
Quick and steady hands keeping in line.
Already the boxes look less full.
The bosses in blue hairnets refill
The boxes full to the top of nuts.
They oversee the decoration of chocolate.
Every day and they do this by sitting
By the boxes on the side of the belt,
Chatting, or milking power out of nuts.
And it’s us on the line
Who get the blame when the boxes are empty,
And chocolate goes by without being nutted,
And they have to chuck away trays of chocolate,
We’re sweating from their shouting but we stand;
We keep our places by the belt.
Our place is by the belt.
Either side of the line.
We do not wait for the nuts to be refilled.
If necessary we will take them from our friends
We think only of the chocolate.
For as long as it takes, we stand.
Am I Nuts?
Chestnuts don’t grow on chests
Walnuts don’t grow on walls
Peanuts don’t come from peas
Cashews come from the fruit on trees
Pecans don’t come from peacock feathers
Pistachios fall from Pinocchio’s nose
Hazelnuts relax in the hazy sun
Macadamias are MacDonald’s big Mac nuts
Almonds are singing nuts, called the Almond Brothers
Acorns come from the unicorns tusk
Nuts are nature’s ways of making sure
We all have a little fun
The biggest nut there ever was
Surely you can see
Is the Nutty Arthur Vaso
Whom wrote these verses three
Cheerios Honey Nuts will grace my bowl
Their scrumptious flavor I shall e'er extol
No bacon and eggs for moi
They are so humdrum and blah
Honey Nuts set my day on cruise control
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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Placed No. 8 in PD's "(LIMERICK) Your Favorite Cereal Contest" - October 2011