Ding dong, bing bong…
When it comes to this leadership… moron, Looney Tune, lunatic, dumber than a sack of bricks, umm… yep, sounds about right.
In the twilight's glow, a wild allure,
I find a treasure, rugged yet pure.
“I want to hold your gator sack,
Its rugged charm pulls me off track.”
Beneath my collar, heat does rise,
A mystery wrapped, caught in your guise.
Oh, gator sack, your mystique sings,
In shadows deep, my longing clings.
From swamps untamed, your essence calls,
With every stitch, my heartbeat enthralls.
A treasure rare, my heart's delight,
This crazy lust can't be contained tonight.
I reach for you, through woven threads,
A world of wonder in all that spreads.
The stories whispered in your seams,
A canvas of wild colors masquerading in my dreams.
And so, I hold you, feel the weight,
In every fold, I contemplate fate.
With passion burning, wrapped in style,
I'll hold you close for just a while.
For in this moment, fierce and clear,
The gator sack draws me so close.
In its embrace, the wildness blooms,
A dance of desire in the evening’s rooms.
So let me linger 'neath the stars' soft light,
With you, dear sack, I’ll savor the night.
For though the dawn will soon arrive,
In this gator's charm, my heart will thrive.
The tale of Sad Sack Sammy,
So the story goes.
A walking, talking, whiner,
Suffering his woes.
He never ever smiled,
Had nothing good to say.
He whimpered like a sissy,
All the livelong day.
His mood would always swing,
At home or when at school.
Sometimes melancholy,
Then complaining like a fool.
A lousy, luckless, loner,
Grew up without a friend.
No one could stand his presence,
'Cause he ranted till the end.
His fate would change at Fifty,
This local resident.
He chose a different path,
And ran for President.
Now everyone that knew him,
Was caught up on the blind side.
When all the votes were counted,
He won it by a landslide.
Oh what a beautiful sight!
My heart almost skipped a beat
She is the one who will make anyone fight
And can make anyone fall on her feet
Her voice was sweet
Just like honey
Her face was was neat
Just like a sky sunny
Then one day all the beauty faded
And the sky was all black
She showed her darkside no one needed
Never knew she filled so much hate in her beautiful sack
In the annals of Rome the least glorious
was an emperor named Honorius.
Though Rome's plight was alarming
he spent his time chicken farming,
a pursuit which made him notorious.
You’ve got to have a certain knack
when opening your Silly Sack;
the beasts within will soon attack
with no hold barred, no turning back.
Now these are not the monstrous sort,
it’s just that they do not comport.
Of mischief, they are never short,
treat mayhem like it is a sport.
Prepare for giggles, snorts, and laughs,
guffaw at awkward giraffe gaffes,
where pigs with dirt soap take mud baths,
where self-signed cars give autographs.
Juno the dog is in there too;
you know what she likes best to do.
She’ll give horse rides, and when we’re through,
we’ll see our parents at the zoo!
So loose the drawstring, open wide;
heck, you might even jump inside!
A Silly Sack’s the place to hide -
with imagination as your guide!
----------
I wrote this as quatrains first, then remembered the contest and wrote it as limericks - frankly, I like the quatrains better...
You’ve got to have a certain knack
when opening your Silly Sack
for the beasts within
will attack to win
with no hold barred, no turning back.
Now these are not the monstrous sort,
it’s just that they do not comport.
It’s mischief they seek
and havoc they wreak,
treat mayhem like it is a sport.
Prepare for giggles, snorts, and laughs,
guffaw at awkward giraffe gaffes,
where well-tailored storks
use knives, spoons and forks,
where self-signed cars give autographs.
Juno the talking dog - she’s in there too
and you know what Juno likes best to do.
She’s as big as a horse;
we’ll ride her, of course,
go see the adults kept down at the zoo!
So loose the drawstring, open it wide;
heck, you might even jump down inside!
But there’s no turning back
from a loose Silly Sack
when imagination is your guide.
—————
for the Children’s Limericks Poetry Contest
sponsored by Eve Roper
written on 11/30/22
In her school The Readily Received:
Staff didn’t let herself be deceived
By flashed smiles finer than “How are you?”
“Last-minute sack letter always slew!”
A Good Montessori’s Love letter
Teachers handed it “See you, later”
And one had flared at me “Betrayer!”
For with speaker I was her payer:
“Miss Janice, time for your envelope
Plus Mummy’s Best Wishes as you cope…”
Tremble instruction I’d obeyed
And back home would lie in brooding bed:
A directoress that promptly pays
But eternally watching your ways,
Not once, not twice bilious anger grew:
A child in Rejected Red, not Blue…
A female teacher in trousers gone:
She shall her finish with Russian Gun;
One in body hug or the sleeveless
A quite mad thing as good as useless;
The Married risking poor child spacing
Their names on staff list to start tracing:
“Serious teachers their salaries need
No dime for ones who often breast feed.”
what we had was knack
to spring forward then fall back
become some sad sack
from straight path may stray
then to God can hear me pray
with please do away
catastrophe mere
daylight savings did disappear
now no longer here
will wear bandana
when we live in Canada
peal a banana
Alarm
Bursts calm
Day dawns
Loud yawns
Blow nose
Stretch toes
Quick wash
Splish splosh
Grab vest
Get dressed
Gulp tea
Then flee
I'm late
Stressed state
The boss
Is cross
Harsh fact;
I'm sacked
Next day
Hooray
Lie in
Big grin!
27.09.22
A BRIAN STRAND PREMIERE CHOICE Poetry Contest
Your Favourite Rhyming Poem From The Second Half Of 2022 Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Julia Ward
The Number they provided
They later just reduced
And it was, yes, deduced
That they were not seduced
But that it was induced:
Ascending price of wheat,
Eagles trying to beat
Five Thousand Leaves a day
To one thousand gives way.
Now workers to just sack;
Their names to fill a sack!
The corpulent postman from local town,
looked perfect wearing his red Santa gown,
but when he shouted loudly ho ho ho!
his belt snapped, and pants dropped low to his toe!
1st placement
A funny Christmas themed 4 liner contest
Tania Kitchin sponsored
10 syllables each line
written 06/01/2022
I waited For Santa, I stayed up all night
I then saw the fat man, no undies in sight.
A bag he had hanging, t’was big red and bright
Ah yes I saw Santa, he swings left to right .
Santa was ‘breaking in’ new Reindeer, but done in his back
Doctors tried to repair, but it was well and truly cracked
Finished with presents and dolls
And no more busting his balls
He found a ‘great niche’ down the sperm bank, emptying his sack
I Need a Good Laugh:
XMAS LIMERICK CONTEST
Sponsored by: Andrea Dietrich
12/15/21
Now, listen, 2020, you're looking rather tired,
you seem well past your sell-by date,so
sorry, mate- you're fired.
It seems nobody's liked you
since January first,
you gave them all a headache then,
and frankly, you've got worse.
You've not delivered happiness,
no, nowhere near enough,
your driving skills have lapsed a lot,
our journey's been quite rough.
I'll give you two month's notice,
then after that, you're gone,
we've lined up a new replacement,
he's called twenty twenty-one.
He's promised us some vaccines,
and holidays galore,
and dustbins full of PPE,
not littering the floor.
I'm sorry that I've bought you in
to give your wrists a slap,
you've had all year to get things right
but, really-
you've been crap.
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