White Cars Haunt
My dreams awake in wasteful
Flights fantastic blight
Each headlight flares
Restless into the outer fields of memory
The oppressive, hot, humid twilight
Passing out of my sight
They haunt my wakening eyes
Along the way, hollow roads of soul
Down endless maps of history
The endless engines thumm
An echo old still lasts, sitting
White cars are empty and cold
Bloody taillights trace each past
Black rubber burns distant futures
White cars sit idle, haunting
Engines' hot air rises to
Meet my blurry vision of yesterday
As white cars haunt
Passing me on the left and then the right
Ghostly in the pale moonlight
In a parking lot, idling, hot
As neon bars pop and flicker
Feel the rot of endless horizons
White white cars travel, burning
Into the enigmatic magnetic night…
White powdered pill, help me stop the way I feel
Give me the will, show me something real
Take a pile let's sleep a little while
My head on the kitchen tile, if only I went the extra mile
I wouldn't have to deal with the guilt
Can't stand the day so I suffocate under the quilt
Doesn't mean I knelt
You don't have a clue how I felt
No rush, just watch me puke up my guts
I'm having illusions, passing out, seeing you in the vision of confusions
Talk about "reaching out"
As if my minds full of doubt
Stuck banging my head against the wall
All while knowing I'm about to fall, maybe someday I'll hear you call
"You're strong" I guess that's why I'm sitting alone and no place feels quite like home.
Listening to my therapist and the way she talks, yes I've been doing lots of walks
Why do you wanna hear my thoughts?
all you do is write naughts and a few to many crosses
Ignorance is bliss
Don't wanna see your call list
Should I walk through the mist? Or enjoy eternal bliss?
Living I've tried
Still wishing to die
Forever was your lie
My soul denied and dehumanised
Chained to the brink of passing out
until the tip of you awakens me;
To be controlled then emancipated,
at just the right time;
The hands at my throat always
know what tissues to press;
A quick inhale then you take me
again before my breath can catch;
I trust you will always indulge my
carnal cravings….
Recently has got me thinking...
Why do I resort to drinking?
Is it because I am lonely,
Feeling like a one and only?
Is it subject to depression
Or some personal oppression?
Maybe because it is legal?
Does it soar me like an eagle
For a short time there about
Until I come to passing out?
Ultimately, it's a choice
Spoken in a certain voice
That for me turns into habit
The more that I decide to grab it.
Cans, bottles, shots and schooners
Lately downed sooner and sooner.
Words that give me some salvation...
"Everything in moderation".
I will apply them in the end...
But until then - cheers, my friend.
When I wrote it down
I could see that it was a silly thing
to have on a bucket list.
Something to forever keep to the self
(low hanging fruit pocked with worms).
Never to be touched by anything but hell.
No different than licking a muddy butterfly
Walking along the spine of a charred-out
bible passage cornice.
A silly thing to pursue...
but for the moment
a paramount desire.
Like washing dishes in champagne and candlelight.
Licking a horde of margaritas
rimmed with barbed wire
then passing out on the breast of
a coconut oil avalanche.
Esoteric mountain
The track leading up to the mountain
that had no spire but was as flat as a prairie
in Idaho, dark soil and spuds
My faithful dog refused to follow
preferred to hang around at slopes
she looked worried
On reaching the topless mountain
the sun was hot and had a dizzy spell
before passing out, I saw a mule
Someone carried me the stream's
nascent, pure water for me to drink
I found a lump of sugar in my pocket
I looked around and saw no humans
but heard the murmur of a whisper
from hearty, green grass gossiping
When rested, walked down and
found a bar with a neon sign in red
mystified, I thought of ill omen
In the salon, I told the barman what
had occurred, he visibly paled and said
leave the unseen ghosts alone
They are a choir that disappeared on
on a field trip a hundred years ago
at night, they sweetly sing for us
Coming out of the den, the dog waited
and led the way to the main road, but
what was the mule trying to tell me
He thinks he killed me.
So he rolled me up in a rug.
I thought I died too but then I wiggled my toes.
Rugs are bristly and hot, so I felt that too.
When I try to unfurl, I just get wrapped tighter.
Until I relax and fall asleep.
I always wake up from that nightmare,
But I’m lying on the floor from passing out.
They are worried but it’s just a dream, I say.
I’m tired, so I close my eyes again.
To get a little more sleep.
1.) Oh! Lord how do I serve you
What must I do
Be impressive let you lead my vessel
In your will and your way
I shall be present and instilled
To go to your children
I being your hands but you'll be the glory
chorus} passing out and embracing
being led by your spirit
your vision, your will, your way-- serving others
Agape holy compassionately
In you I AM I AM YOU
2.) Father, Daddy God where you go I follow
This I must do
Lord I am your willing vessel I am
Your will and your way
I shall be present and instilled
To go to your children
I being your hands but you'll be the glory
Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah
Your purpose is ever coming forth
Your purpose and Your will -will be
chorus} In you I Am I Am In you
In you I Am I Am In you
In you I Am I Am In you
Glorious Elohim Father
In you I Am I Am In you
Hallelujah
3/20/24
Written words & arranged music by
James Edward Lee Sr. 2024©
Hello kids it me again back to share my own lifes gleanings.Been sick as a
Sick dog.I am mourning,heartbroken and dealing with one assault on the body after another .This weeks guest Norwalk virus.You aint lived till you have embraced this near death experience.No exageration.Stomach cramps so severe unable to stand homoerectus.Thought I had threw my midback out during one attempted 8 second ride of gastronomic convulsions.Linda Blair had nothing on my performance.Dry heaves so bad I feared turning inside out like an item prepared for the wash as my mind toyed with the idea of just passing out.Fought this as aspiration not on my to do list.
Diaphram still sore to the touch and inching my way into real food.News flash if any have or know of anybody suffering in similar fashion tell them no dairy for at least two weeks as the receptors to handle it last to come back on line in the gut.And how have you been ?
Each morning as I wake
my eyes will seek the sky
be it blue or heavy overcast
my spirit lifts in flight -
to behold the natural world
is a miracle of being
when I reach my final hour
let the light touch my skin
no shadow’s cloying weight
give me a room bathed in sun
or a view of rain quenched earth
trees flush with living green
let it be an ordinary day
familiar as I’ve often spent
with nothing overwrought -
a bird may cry overhead
perhaps some errant clouds
like me passing out of sight.
A knife in the heart can hurt,
just one breath from passing out;
Sunshine will never reach you,
your precise weight is too much;
Feelings instigate collapse;
Darkness is soothed with a touch,
within pain there is rebirth.
"How Do You Feel"
Waking each night at the same hour
4am power
Frustratedly tossing and turning
mindlessness soaring.
No cars passing out on the roads,
the streetlights shine in through my windows,
feels like I'm stuck in a strange limbo
trapped between night and day.
Taking slow deep breaths
eyes so tired but no regrets
I feel like my bed is my body.
24th January 2023.
They are dying
in the gutters of China,
welded into apartment cages –
children dismembered from the
arms of pleading mothers,
protesters pushed back by tanks~
oh well, a few get squashed...
too many people anyway,
environmentalists are silent
in agreement –
a complicit US media, those
flamboyant parrots with jeweled
wings, spouting government's lingo,
having gladly exchanged crumbly crackers
for meaty bones, expendable and not their
concern – not a meaningful word
from the Biden administration, Joe,
himself, a parrot of sorts – a facsimile
of what once appeared human, the devil
in his election. US Corporations
wanting China contracts, China's
digital to replace the buck, when
the American People wake up one
morning, the banks saying, you are
totally out of luck – Fortunes being made
from munitions, war mongers telling
fools they are necessary nutritions,
Hollywood yet worshiping the God
of their mirrors, bronzed and perfectly
symmetrical, to one another passing out
golden calf awards...the Devil alive
and well.
NEWLY CARVED :
Once a dejected filthy vessel,
Jehovah's renewed me so well.
Forever will I dwell in his Bethel.
His divine hands keep me nestled,
So much I can't even tell.
Sins held me to die in a fierce tussle,
Even when I was young to wrestle.
Had no idea of freeing myself from this hurdle;
Iniquities and transgressions at high level.
In fact I'm a changed person.
My flesh was satisfied by lust,
And my life was passing out very fast.
Excluded from cattles grazing on Zion's grass,
I was found dwelling among wolves class.
The negativities were vast.
The smites of harsh fads;
Suicide thoughts seemed a must,
'cause the situation was such a gast.
Hope was erased from my heart,
Before the Holy Spirit rescued me at last.
I was really wretched and cuffed,
And my heart, mind and soul starved;
Drinking from the devil's cup,
My whole being's carnally puffed.
My raggered self extremely fouled,
But now I'm beligned in the glory of His love.
Saved by the incorruptible blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed and empowered in heavenly arm,
By grace, I'm cleansed by Jehovah's palm.
Hallelujah, I'm newly carved!
Praise GOD, He's all I have!
UNFADABLE ENTIRETY:
When storm roars and thunder strikes,
My faith's never hit by heavy plight;
It being in the morning, it being in the night.
And the ambient atmosphere can't let me cry,
Since I know what to do in such blight.
All I do's to close my eyes,
When darkness brings to me a fright;
Raises my head up to the skies,
That's when Jehovah sends forth his light.
His entirety never dies,
And no one can define his might.
Everything's passing out as time flies,
But this Sovereign King's forever at the greatest heights.
The heart of the broken soul he buys,
Reform sinners and those weakened by contrite;
At the end makes them new and fine,
Replenishes them with love and pride.
All His creations declare He doesn't despise.
Who's this King who can't be defined?
Everything He does is undisputedly right;
At the home of outcasts he dines,
And He grooms any heart filled with spite,
Transforms and makes it really nice,
As peace and long life He supplies.
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