Help me

White powdered pill, help me stop the way I feel Give me the will, show me something real Take a pile let's sleep a little while My head on the kitchen tile, if only I went the extra mile I wouldn't have to deal with the guilt Can't stand the day so I suffocate under the quilt Doesn't mean I knelt You don't have a clue how I felt No rush, just watch me puke up my guts I'm having illusions, passing out, seeing you in the vision of confusions Talk about "reaching out" As if my minds full of doubt Stuck banging my head against the wall All while knowing I'm about to fall, maybe someday I'll hear you call "You're strong" I guess that's why I'm sitting alone and no place feels quite like home. Listening to my therapist and the way she talks, yes I've been doing lots of walks Why do you wanna hear my thoughts? all you do is write naughts and a few to many crosses Ignorance is bliss Don't wanna see your call list Should I walk through the mist? Or enjoy eternal bliss? Living I've tried Still wishing to die Forever was your lie My soul denied and dehumanised