Best Passing Out Poems


Premium Member The Last Old Fashioned Christmas

He poked the sleepy fire 
Then sat back in his chair
Removed his reading glasses 
Brushed back his cotton hair
A quick glance out the window 
Wishing for a reprieve
Hoping someone might drop by 
On this lonely Christmas Eve

He heard some people caroling 
Strains of "Oh Holy Night"
Gave his dog a pat
Eyes watered at the twinkling lights
The fire crackling, glowing red
Tired eyes of a similar hue
He drifted off to sleep
To the silent late night news

While the old man slept
An angel came a calling
She lightly kissed his head
In dreams the snow was falling
He saw a little boy
In pajamas all excited
A Lionel train circling the tree
A new bicycle parked beside it

The stockings hung the night before
Were stuffed with candy and treats
Everyone was unwrapping gifts
Their love providing the heat
His mom was there on the sofa
Her face so young and pretty
His Santa Clause dad, passing out presents
Trying to be joyful and witty

He saw his brother and sister
A long ago Christmas day
Sharing an old fashioned Christmas
In their family old fashioned way
As he dreamed he began to smile
The angel was standing by
She bent to kiss him again
A tear escaped her eye

The old man sagged in his chair
A big smile on his face
There would be no more lonely Christmases
They were together again in one place


   by Daniel Turner

The Nun and the Witches Last Walk

Even though
It was so long ago
It still holds the place in my heart
The one I reserved for special moments
with him 
The times before his health
got the best of our relationship
Back when my grandpa 
was able to be my 
grandpa

It was my first parade
and one of his last
The Halloween of
2006.

There was
tigers
and lions
and bear
oh my.
but there was also the usual
witches, and monsters
but most importantly
there was my grandpa.

He volunteered to help
with the small monsters
of classroom 301 that year
which would also be his last 
so he was able to walk with his
even if he kept stopping 
to pick up candy 
along the way.

walking with him
along the crowded streets
past the sirens of the firetrucks
and over the steep hills
will forever beat any memory
of 
trick or treating
passing out candy
or the endless Halloween parties

for that was just a moment to enjoy
now that his old age has hit him
hard
there's no more walking
no more dressing up for Halloween
just to see a smile on the face of 
his grandchildren
his little monsters

That moment will forever hold my heart
ten years ago was
the last time 
this witch
had her
nun 
of a grandfather
walk beside her

Premium Member How Sweet It Is

One year I spent Halloween in New York City.
O Henry was the name of my taxi driver. I told
him to Take 5 while I stopped in a candy store
for some favorite candies to give out for the
Trick or treaters I would encounter that night.

My kids always loved Skittles and Nerds, but
my husband prefers Kit Kat bars Now and Later.
My choice has always been Mounds because I
adore coconut. I paid the Chunky clerk and hurried
back to to the taxi with my arms full of candy.
It was already twilight as we passed 5th Avenue. 

Mr. Goodbar, my boss, was waiting for me at the 
hotel as we drove down an older Rocky Road.  
I was on a business trip, but I had time off to 
enjoy the evening on Halloween. I got into my
Jolly Rancher costume. Pay Day left me with 
plenty of funds to give out candy to every kid
making the rounds on the streets, so I intended 
to have a candy Spree with lots of Snickers. 

Some of the kids were little Smarties, but I still 
had fun passing out a Skor, Bar None. I passed 
Three Musketeers in gorgeous costumes on the 
street and as the night wore on and the Air Heads 
began to get scary, I had enough. I had Zero 
candy left anyway. I walked back to the hotel like 
a Slo Poke gazing up at our Galaxy, the Milky Way, 
and I viewed a Starburst which capped my night 
with Almond Joy! 

10-10-18

How Sweet It Is Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Carol Connell


Premium Member Lowlife Freak

She holds my hand like I’d never
wake up after passing -out and drinking
one last lick from a broken bottle, only to
find myself needing another round of gin.

Yet, my woman cuddles me as if this
hair isn't filthy even though I haven't
hit the showers, even though I can’t
take my body to rest, to act functional.

And she gleams like she can't smell 
the reek  of  alcohol  I am breathing…
how  my heart aches for the last time 
her mouth kissed me on the face
after I broke a promise I couldn’t
 possibly fulfill-- a lowlife freak, rogue of a man,

disappearing into bars and more bars 
to silence  fears so I cannot hear 
old ghosts on the  walls, in nightmares, 
within her embrace,
… but still 
I can’t love myself the same way that
she loves me like I never
screamed,
denied,
told her to go lose herself,
banging the door--
telling her that she was worse
than my compulsive urge.

She loves me -- a reckless quirk--
believing I will see THAT  day

when I can Change.

.......................
11.17.2016
Creep Contest for Silent One

Premium Member I'M Dreaming/ a Liberal Xmas Tale

Who was this white haired Claus 
With rabbit teeth? 
Carrying a ton of peanuts 
For all to eat.

Dragged in a sleigh pulled 
By Agnew and Nixon, 
Who ran right beside 
Donnar and Blitzen? 

He circled Camp David, 
A fast fly by; 
With lox and bagels for 
the Jewish guys. 

A carpenters’ pencil 
Was poised by his ear, 
And boxes of nails dangled, 
From the gear in the rear. 

Why! Its Jolly Ole Carter Claus 
Draped in menorahs. 
Handing out home plans to 
the Arab before us. 

Visions of world peace 
Danced in his head; 
As, he flew straight to Afghanistan
‘Fore noggin hit bed. 

When down from the sky 
In the form of deer dung, 
Fell fruit tree seeds 
Too be sown in the sun. 

And, as CarterClaus’ whip cracked 
O’er Nixon's ear, 
As Agnew blanched, 
His eyes filling with tears. 

Droplets hit sand with 
A plop and a splatter 
’Pon the fruit tree seeds with 
Nary a clatter. 

The desert grew green; 
Trees sprouted and grew; 
Hearts filled with wonder, 
Bellies with stew. 

Homes were rebuilt, 
as before the fall, 
Cook fires were lit. 
Children grew tall. 

And Ole Carter Claus 
Flew home in a daze. 
Passing out sandwiches 
That Roslyn had made.

Premium Member The Delivery Room

Expectant fathers will often pace
Until nurse invites them into
A bright delivery suite
To see their baby born;
Before they see birth
Of their newborn,
Some are out
Cold on 
Floor.

Soon,
Revived
Father acts
Like all is well,
Soon, is eagerly
Passing out souvenirs
Announcing their fatherhood
Like they did all of the hard work
Bringing new baby into the world!


June 11, 2021
Dedicated to my fourth great-grandchild!


Shedding Feathers

Shedding Feathers
One by Two
By Two and Three

And Three keeps shedding 
because there is more,
Divine Feathers
which held and defined His soul.

He let them be White,
Paper White,
but proud as a Knight, 
fighting enemies and Holy battles
on a destrier with a saddle.

He let himself be unconquered,
His Soul intact.

Many brawls and fights won
though corroding shield and armor,
a warrior with no starmer
and no history,
no claim.
 
Lest those feathers shed,
which claimed his immortality,  
from slight gray to slate
they precariously turned.

'Here are feathers' 
he somberly called his
Dear Friends, 
fledging each one.

'Let me come down and drink
and give alms.
I'll soil myself and shed my feathers.'
he roared
while his friends cheered.

'I give thee my own soul'
he said almost passing out,
'to which one and two i hope you do enjoy.
My Plumage is with me No More
but forever with you evermore.'

Premium Member A Mermaid Encounter

I went for a swim early one summer morning in the ocean
The waves were rough, crashing with powerful motion
As I dove into the waves, I lost my balance and hit my head
I choked on salt water, couldn’t catch my breath as I bled

I struggled with the current, being pulled out as I sank
Deeper under the water, fighting as more salt water I drank
I knew then I was passing out and was starting to drown
No one is out here, I hope someone sees me, comes around

I then opened my eyes and saw a beautiful woman with long glistening hair
She had an angelic face, a perfect physique and glittery blue fins she did wear
She warmly smiled as she grabbed my hands and pulled me into an embrace
She then swam me to shore and quickly left me on the beach in a safe place

A lifeguard came running to my rescue and started to press on my chest
I came to while coughing out salt water, feeling exhausted, needing to rest
I asked if he saw the beautiful mermaid on the beach who rescued me today
The lifeguard laughed and said no, and that my delirium will soon go away

9/21/19

Contest: MERMAIDS Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Line Gauthier

Untitled

You can drive your fancy cars
Living it up like movie stars
While small children have nothing to eat
No place to live no light no heat
Hopeless drunks living like dogs
Passing out sleeping like logs
While you sip your fancy wine
Pretending everything is fine
But I know that you feel the guilt
And as you watch your garden wilt
Remember the little starving child
Lost in a world neither meek nor mild
Or the drunk stinking and ill
For the bottle he will kill
You wonder if the child ate
If his parents show love or hate
Is the drunk a friend or foe?
He's not himself he's sunk so low
You're not better than us all
You're still human you'll still fall
Don't forget us while you're great
We don't need anymore hate

Hey Man

Hey man
Why are you always on my mind
Here and there, once again
I can't relax ' cause of you

Hey man 
Why are you as hot as that bright light
I feel like that damn butterfly
Attracted by the cruel fire

I'm close to you,  my thoughts are full
Of lovely vicious things
We feel it clear, we are almost near
"impress me" is our theme

Hey man 
Why are you holding me so tight
You say a word - I have goosebumps
You're so close - I'm passing out

Hey man
Why am I loving you so loud 
I use  your name as talisman
I dive deeply into your charm

I know that everybody has their own stars*
Their own stars 
Their own stars
You are my stars

The universe conspired to help me find us**
Find us
Find us
I've  found us



* "The little prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
** "The alchemist" by Paulo Coelho

Premium Member White Trash Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
And try as I may
I’d never be done
By the break of next day.

The stockings weren’t hung
Hell, they weren’t even knit
And the children in bed?
No, they’re throwing a fit!

And me in my kerchief
And Kmart house coat
Was testing a Holiday
Ice Cream-tini float.

When what to my
Bloodshot eyes should appear
But my absentee husband
With two cases of beer!

His eyes, how they glistened
His laughter, how scary
His walk was zig zag
His nose a red cherry!

He spoke not a word
(We last spoke in ought-eight)
But climbed up in my trailer
Like I’d cigs on rebate.

Then laying a finger
Inside of his nose
He belched and he farted
And took off his clothes.

But I heard him exclaim
‘Ore passing out for the night,
“Merry Christmas to All!
Can I have Newport Lite?”

November 28, 2018

Premium Member You Can Lead a Horse To Water

Toasty mornings with teakettles whistling bring to mind Danish days on Marata’s 
horse farm, ponies prancing in the unusually warm sunlight, and new fangled 
sparkling silver water fountains. Mirada, Karen and Laura’s Mom hosted Bob, Jamie 
and I for a summer vacation. We had just settled into the whitewashed kitchen 
when the problem was presented to us. For years the housed herd of guest horses 
had been watered by filling lovely old white porcelain cast iron tubs which had been 
scattered all over the rolling green fields of the farm in Faum. 

Mirada had the forward thinking idea of saving farm hand time [and her the hourly 
wage] of piping water to these beautiful horses with new fountains! Yes, my 
lovelies, all you have to do is push your nose right here. Out bubbles crisp cool clean 
water, minus the dead flies, which often drowned in the old tub! Seems horses are 
very suspicious. Nope the herd was having none of it. Soon, if not cajoled, they 
would be passing out from lack of water in the Danish summer’s heat. What foreign 
creature had replaced their friendly old white tub of water? Where was their water? 
They saw no water. Sure there was a scent of it from that pole but “What the 
heck?” snorted the black stallion shaking his head at the girls.

We were told there would be no breakfast, lunch or dinner for us until we helped 
get those horses watered. So off we went, shuffling our feet to a meet and greet 
with the herd.  Marata and the girls knew the horses. We almost knew a horse from 
a cow. I went right up to this large black beauty, pet his nose and rubbed my cheek 
on his face, love at first sight! Blackie started following me and we walked toward 
the fountain. Then the sun glanced off the dreaded thing and he shied. I pushed the 
control, filled my hands with water and brought him some. Lordy, lordy he drank 
from my hands! The herd behind him whinnied. I tried to get him nearer the fountain 
but it was a no, go. He’d drink from my hands but not the fountain. It just goes to 
show you, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink, is really 
TRUE! 

*The next morning Laura begged her own pony AGAIN to drink. He finally did the rest did too then ;)

Premium Member Dragon and the Country Western Star

It was snowing, and in the middle of a great big storm… as… 
Another storm raged on, inside our dear, sweet little Dragon,
His penguins so care free, were now chasing after, you see…
The great Dragon Country Western Singer and Star, ‘Drago’!

Yep, they wanted autographs from that OTHER musical Guy!
Dressed up in country attire, as they two-stepped, down the hall.
So Dragon put on his cowboy boots and hat, and other fine stuff…
And caterwauled, in competition! Low and behold, surprising us all!

We fell, begged, & prayed for Dragon, to stop, what he was a doing.
He thought he was, grander than grand, for us to be bowing and cooing.
In truth, we were merely, passing out, from traumatic exhaustion!
As he stopped we tackled him, to the ground, which was the only option.

He was so happy; to have such devoted fans, swarm over him, instead!
He was rushed into a sound proof room, to record for YouTube, we said.
In mercy to all, we turned off the sound, so he unknowingly, lip-synced.
Yep, to Drago’s song! Low and behold! He got 50 million hits, I am told.

With so much acclaim, for the video! Royalties roared in, so we decided.
To rent a big bus, to take us, next summer, to see our new friend Drago!
So beware, there’s still time, to get out of town! This truly is, a warning.
I impart, and if he tries to sing again, have a soundproof room a waiting!

And between you two, in a music video, you and Drago will be set for life!
Don’t forget, the penguins, want to dance, in the video with their idols.
Isn’t it amazing, how stories can unfold, to quiet, the WORST of storms?
But Beware, two Dragons, bring bigger storms, than one alone can form! 

Written 2-28-2015

The Ugly American

When Europeans first came to America, it seemed to be their role...
To reach out with both hands, for all the goods and lands they stole.

When our nation was founded by men of vision...
They spoke out, their king showed them nothing but derision.

The colonization by troops and taxes imposed were so unfair...
Liberty from him was declared, fought for, and taken from there.

The thefts of that king were small by any means...
To the way we have treated our fellow Americans.

We continued to take the Indians' lands...
Never thinking twice, of the blood on our hands.

We greeted the black man with whip and chains...
Can we ever remove the ghosts of their pains?

Yes, we drenched our land red with blood to set them free...
But prejudice remains, even after more than a century.

We have helped set so many peoples free with our aid in war...
Have we forgotten at home, just what was fought for?

"Ours is the greatest country" we tend to shout...
Yet, the Ugly American still lurks about.

The world watches us with wonder and awe...
Many hate or envy us, because of our human nature's flaw.

Many cast for hope, but reel in despair...
The things we do to others, we must do with better care.

The Greatest Generation the world will ever know...
Is slowly dying, their life's light passing out, as darkening embers go.

If our nation should have learned anything...
It must be that millions suffer to have Freedom's Ring.

Our understanding and compassion will go a long way...
To let them see, the "Ugly American's " face, as not so ugly one day.

Premium Member The Armored Hearse

Prayers descend like acid rain from 
oligarch-soaked manchurians, stumping 
for elected office, praising hybrid 
demigods, passing out vouchers to the 
peasants.

A slow rumbling-
 part of the night-sounds-of-curfew;
descends like fire ants.

Cleaners of the guilt, hidden in plain faith,
unable or unwilling to walk, feign 
blindness, darkness helps.

Cellphone towers only reflect scripted 
light, as memories of real sunshine, fade 
to black. A good cup of coffee is hard to 
find, all the fine beans were swept away 
early on, replaced by dancing bears, 
politely ignored. Thunderclouds, imagined 
in shapes of our founding fathers, 
encourage the deluge, slowly ascending.

Underground-
   a grim band-of-believers watch (again)
a pirated tape of their favorite '80's movie, 
'They Live' from the fabled city called the 
new capital in 'The Postman' Minneapolis..
while the tormented sounds of-

     plows 
scraping overhead, and
 hydrants, 
bellys full, feeding power washers,
cascade
over hardened
faces.



05/11/14
minneapolis
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