Long Laxative Poems

Once,
or twice, 
maybe thrice,
surely not
not fractal

A clan of crazy ecofeminists
conspired within an 88 unit residential castle
in their historically converted 
sometimes hysterically clueless condo
colonial-red predative brick 
badly bald aging building

With a sometimes soggy south walled school,
but...

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I’ve Been So Lucky in Life! (1&2)
(Only Raped 5 Times Metaphorically)

Poem’s Introduction
My poetry has always been about transparency. It’s about letting go of an effort to be liked by others, and allowing others to gravitate...

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Defecation accidentally clogged...

for the umpteenth time 
during spate to sit scrawny buttucks 
on porcelain throne id est 
videre licet toilet bowl...
with toxic water brew threatening
to overflow onto the floor,
and hence found yours truly (me)
immersing himself...

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Unidentified flying object abducted yours truly,... 

a willing experimental subject 
to escape untenable married life.

Upon falling into a deep slumber, 
the following subconscious 
somnambulant scenario arose 
allowing, enabling, and providing 
temporary alleviation from 
outa harried...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your...

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Ace colonoscopy doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales 
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days...

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Emancipation proclamation from Samson fixation

Otherwise titled deep into my fiftieth year of passive aggressive rebellious puberty.

Yes, I chickened out getting a haircut yesterday August twenty seventh two thousand and twenty four as stated in a...

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Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... turgid song redux,
a worse hellish fate than perdition really sucks

As of early morning
today - September 8th, 2022,
I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found...

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My appreciation Francis Crasto for allowing me to collaborate with you as your 'psychiatrist' on ‘A MAN UNDER STRESS’- A great sequel to your recent poem on your page ‘DIG DEEP’. 



Hello Francis, how are...

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[My recent poem ‘The Dimly Lit House’ received a
Comment from Charles Messina that it could be a Tom and 
Jerry episode… what can I say? Something went ‘Ping!’]

       ...

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100% Natural psyllium husk delivered solid ecstasy

As of late - I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant or red (livid...

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Ace colonoscopy doctors Kellen Karl Kovalovich
and Larry Borowsky

Though necessary to down: 
four Dulcolax laxative tablets, 
quaff half 238 gram bottle of Miralax 
over span of eight hours, 
and if necessary even one Fleets Enema, 
I...

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“The songs are casual and careless in a satisfying way, like the used condom your latest lover left lying on your bedroom floor, a souvenir you’re not yet ready to dispose of.” Candy Cotton, Modern...

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Stimulus check(up), visited mine local gastro-intestinal economy

Around high noon
today March 19th, 2021
fecal impaction I did plaintively croon
until effect courtesy amitiza, which
prescription medication
(in short a laxative)
served as amazing grace saving boon.

Once activated - impossible mission
to suppress...

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Regretting Cake Takes Two

Rachael looked sheepishly like a hawk in disguise claws clenched meticulous sharpened
yet hidden her sullen face pressing wrinkled no motion frosted lips the icing on the cake
It had meant to be such...

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A morning spent with nurses.
A sharp pain in my side, like a spear being plunged
In my right side when I laughed, sat up or sat down.
Pain in my eyes, and my stomach.
Sharp, mean, angry pain.
I...

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I'll dibble dab and squiggle on my pad,
I'm just a lad, and if it's good it's bad
and bad is good, words are misunderstood,
not could, would and should or does and mood.

Food for a dozen with...

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Defecation clogged toilet bowl...
courtesy prescription laxative AMITIZA

and found (me) zee papa pooped out,
thus embarrassing communiqué I post,
a reasonably rhyming poetic shout
to air grievances
concerning outsize bowel movement
hoping (fat/slim chance)
Mike Rowe happens tubby about,
though shadow of doubt
he...

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Blech - impossible mission to savor mug of ginger tea...

When the entire mug awash
with floating leavings
by golly by gosh,
sipping said herbal brew
analogous challenge
to eat spaghetti squash
with one chopstick.

Earlier yesterday February twenty fourth
two thousand twenty four
found...

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When alive and livingsocial
within webbed wide world
analogous to an emotional hell
I never experienced pomp and circumstances,
and quavers with inconsolable tears
graduation theme song
popularized courtesy Sir Edward Elgar,
thus suicidal ideations no longer relevant
yours truly need not quell
he...

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Prune juice as effective emetic

Brainstorming yields casting 
the following plumbline 
netting genetic, italic, kinetic, 
magnetic, opportunistic, quixotic,
synchronistic, and universalistic result.

Ofttimes I experience constipation bout,
and thus the missus pours me a class
of natural laxative with clout
nursing...

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Defecation clogged toilet bowl courtesy metamucil..
and found (me) zee papa pooped out

Anal eyes zing thee
nightly dump for yesterday
July 8th, 2020 - whereby
plunger helped obstruction give way
I nearly lost me life and limb oy vey

oh my...

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I’ve not written to you for many years
Santa, I’m quite different from my peers
Not fancy or frilly like girly girls
And I don’t hanker for diamonds and pearls
Today I got the most terrible news
My muse abandoned...

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(Misery's Ghost)

Dreaming with my eyes wide open
Ultra Death sits by the bedside 

On your knees, you are crying!
Along the floor, now you are dying!
Swallowing the pain inside, demanding for the reaper himself
If you want to...

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Ironclad choke hold tightened
around pencil necked geek
stranglehold noose asphyxiated
courtesy mailer daemon freak

specifically America Online
server gremlin sought out meek
resplendently attired as Doctor sheikh
wordsmith scouted out as weak

cussed link within human league
surprisingly springing thru Lenovo
external screen, simulating...

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