Defecation accidentally clogged

Defecation accidentally clogged... for the umpteenth time during spate to sit scrawny buttucks on porcelain throne id est videre licet toilet bowl... with toxic water brew threatening to overflow onto the floor, and hence found yours truly (me) immersing himself in the holistic experience for the pure love of bucket flushing since applying plunger to no avail found me able, eager, ready and willing to whoosh upon a star to enlist the entrepreneurial daring doo doo of eldest offspring to design a *corkerasp, and found (me) zee papa frankly zapped, pooped, fatigued, et cetera out, thus daring poster boy afflicted by recurrent bouts of constipation to share embarrassing communiqué I post, a reasonably rhyming poetic shout out to air flatulent grievances concerning outsize bowel movement hoping (fat/slim shady chance) Mike Rowe happens tubby about, though shadow of a doubt, he will avail himself **** eyes zing thee nightly dump for yesterday September 2nd, 2024 - whereby plying plunger in vain, cuz suction barely helped obstruction give way, I nearly lost me life and limb oy vey oh my dog, the same asinine outcome which spurred poet to get underway matter of fact, a replay of excretion almost occurred earlier today, and thus an attempt to describe a tragicomic scenario regarding bowel movement the size of subway tram, an urgent message to maintenance person, yours truly must relay overflowing potty nearly found yours truly quay king, yet impossible mission arises to portray with unsightly turgid prose and cons of situation, the juvenile elements of harried style swiftly tailored, I hate to overplay odoriferous subject matter nsync with constipation since laxative delineates, expedites, facilitates,... née posits heavy load emanating out rectum quite amazing what smelly waste exits out me necessitating able linkedin line O Captain! My Captain! I signal emergency mayday posterior end, a dime size orifice, which malfunctioning sphincter muscles one moost never be lackaday sic cull though kids and adults laughed back in the day, if and/or when Danny Kaye tactfully poked fun including that girl at such critical bodily phenomenon equally important as a jackstay to keep afloat body electric accursed with rectum ammunition auxiliary accouterments interplay analogously precise as Swiss made timepiece said system responsible to expel bodily toxins upon which sitting on porcelain throne one can softly utter hooray thankful to experience relative pleasure until one becomes feeble minded, whereat sixty plus shades of gray matter allows, enables, and provides enjoyably foray into the bathroom, which entranceway hoop fully not barred nor off limits cuz that primitive urge one best not delay lest one requires lower gastrointestinal intervention especially if blocked up fecal matter which turns to clay unless of course one doth cause damage and betray respect toward well oiled human machine exercising and eating healthy avoiding backside skeleton musculature issues, yes... I reckon during twilight years control over bowels doth slip away. *The Essence Of A Corkerasp. (which fictitious object contrived by my then twenty plus year old third year college student, (who will turn twenty eight on December twenty second),, but SHE would never admit to birthing such an offal bit of drek. The essential name arose from preschool, predicated, precocious person, and the words....? Whenever constipation a pain in the ass just maneuver this lightweight metal contrivance made of brass no matter if anybody considers this action crass apply corkscrew motion up the alimentary canal to remove human waste, which most likely will be thick like petrified paste stuck deep inside bowels of sphincter muscles and solidly encased causing severe cramps within lower gastrointestinal tract inducing one to wince nonstop from being fecal matter packed and no amount of primal groaning doth loose this hard fact, nor does imagery of freed turd ease formidable **** plight, no laughing matter despite how absurd squeezing does nothing even applying all inner might, thus necessary to incorporate un-natural intervention to un-clog rectal blockage + uncomfortable bloating swelling anus the size of a hog disabling bare derriere ease to stand let alone jog, yet tis essential per extricating what feels like one swallowed a log, which could presage demise of sufferer, whereby epitaph twill induce impossible eulogy spoken language where tongues wag in Prague every ounce of effort required to bend over gingerly affixing plunger end of device to business of rear end best accompanied in tandem with close companion or friend this dirty deed done dirt-cheap trick will ideally rend rock solid excrement to roll and crash (on par traversing highway to hell) soundcloud, I without fail regularly out the tushy send upon bathroom floor possibly inducing tsunami seismic waves less or more, whereby toilet bowl water will pour over the sides akin to white caps near sea shore without doubt making gluteus maximus extremely sore.