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Prolonged Offal Bout Courtesy Constipation Turgid Song Redux

Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... turgid song redux, a worse hellish fate than perdition really sucks As of early morning today - September 8th, 2022, I could not but barely move mine whole body felt analogous to sluggish mollusk frequent constipation found me doubled over in gastrointestinal agony as if elephant stomping on tummy or red livid with rage. I've re: created how bull heaver in fiber figuratively thrust his tusk into lower abdominal area dawn to dusk ah...voila... hence subsequently blessed natural laxative, the magic of Daily Fiber 100% natural psyllium husk also known as metamucil. Once again sphincter muscle(s) spasmodically malfunctioned awry whew suppository unnecessary despite gastrointestinal stoppage alimentary canal thwarted porcelain goddess battlecry at least seventy two hour time span lapsed whereby big boy wanted to cry explaining how yours truly felt he would die an undertaking malaise found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis, a bowel movement, wherein waste unable to expel from the anus of this guy, which bout with rectal obstruction found me doubled over with lower abdominal distress whereby comfort found me unable to lie down nor sit upright (with back padded with pillows against the cellar brick wall), thus severe bloating a bonus well nigh and managed on a previous occasion to muster the means to bare frigid arctic vortex aire to purchase the Acme brand Metamucil, which akin to Drano doth ply thru the excretory tract supposedly loosening the stools which optimism (product didst earn claim to fame) generated a sigh if that expressed intent to cease LivingSocial would try humph enjoining lxiii year old married male to cede victory to the grim reaper, who would vie as winner de jure to this common fellow invoking libretto ohm resistant understudy waste not want not allowing, enabling and providing relief, without successful defecation despite the oppressive urge to bolster this Uriah heep of balled up and tuckered out five foot and ten inches of lovely bones, thence mouthing retraction of former thought to cease existing though a non-bull lever in any power broker qua mankind relief at long last provided posterior answered prayer yet, this wordsmith scrutinizes his recurring pain in the ass jagged torture and asks a rhetorical one word question "WHY"? Well now... monumental poetic challenge recap, I now craftily abbreviate (think clogged toilet synonymous with blockage) waste matter after days did accumulate regarding rectal blockage to alleviate thus imagine impossible airy mission to defecate which debilitating scenario (mine) frequent accursed fate frequently recurring more often as yours truly ages i.e. latter day saint Matthew Scott got older rectal affliction compromised me ordinary easy going demeanor to boot disallowing, disenabling, and not permitting me - effecting, emulating, and exhaling Tony the tiger's catchword grrrrrreat if queried about my constitution when alas... absolute ecstasy found me expelling bowel movement with effort weighing approximately 0.71428571 stone though relieved, nevertheless the toilet bowl clogged, prompting me to correct historical records on two accounts despite causing potential ruckus disaster buffs may incriminate nsync notion huge bowel movement (mine) took down (analogous voyage to bottom of sea) toto Lusitania and actually additionally caused separate incident complex edifice (think Titanic) both sturdy ships of state former rendered, lifted, foundered... latter purportedly crashing into iceberg invariably causing rising sea levels courtesy melting glacier (size of Florida) weight.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

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