Limerick Syllables : 9,9,7,7,9.
Now there once was a Scotsman named Milt,
And he tripped on a stair with a tilt.
Bounced on each step single file.
He jumped up wearing a smile.
Now we all know what is under his kilt.
A Little Fish
I opened a tin of sardines in olive oil for my evening meal.
Headless and nicely packed they were, except for one that
had a head-on was alive. I filled water in a jar.
Put the sardine in and fed it bread crumbs.
The headless sardines in the tin, so still and dead, I could
not eat them, put the tin back in the fridge.
My little sardine grew too big for the jar, and cats were circling
The house, looking for a way in, so I took it to the empty lake
that once had Bluegills fished to extinction,
set my sardine free to feed on rotten vegetation-
I don`t know how fish reproduce, but a year later, a school
of sardines were swimming around, except for one that
swam the opposite way- Bonanza! Grilled sardines and
The people rejoiced, thinking it was going to last forever,
And then there were none except one, my sardine in oil.
I went down to the lake when the sardine saw me
was glad, jumped up in the air, and was caught by a bird.
Empty lake, a dead eye in the wilderness, tells no story.
24 Dr Peppers
One day I started running and my legs fell off.
I was in the army, and I had to clean the floor with a toothbrush.
It started raining sideways.
Then a bullet jumped up and bit me that day.
Jenny threw her shoe at her old house.
I guess she ran out of rocks.
I was with Jenny, and I became the minute man.
That’s all I’m going to say about that.
I had 24 Dr. Peppers, and I had to pee.
My mom made some strange noises because she cared about my school grades.
Me and Jenny are like peas and carrots.
Jenny played a guitar naked, and I saw her butt.
For a while I owned a shrimp boat.
When I first met Lieutenant Dan, he was holding a roll of toilet paper.
I like playing ping pong in the spring.
One day I gave Lieutenant Dan some ice cream.
Jenny, is he smart like me?
No Forest. He is dumb as a coconut tree.
You never know what you're going to get in a box of chocolates.
All just put my hands in my pocket.
Me and Lt. Dan are best friends.
I like dancing to Sweet Home Alabama.
I can’t forget about Bu Bu.
Another friend of mine who likes shrimp gumbo.
Me Lt. Dan and Bu Bu are the three amigos.
Jenny will always be my hero.
Somewhere up above a mountain
Was the volcano to maintain
Lava voice as hot as anger
It seemed nothing but a danger
For away down the valley
Was a frozen lake
I was spitting so one could take
Stream thought only one was jelly
Fish to go deeper than deeper
Lava ran to valley
It was full of anguish
Ice jumped up to valley
Just to destroy it's wish
That was now ice vs Lava
To sit by the river,
The sun on my face,
Transports me at once
To a happier place.
I know that so many
Would never agree,
But the city (and river!)
Are perfect for me.
The view isn’t private
And quiet, it’s not,
Yet this bench by the river’s
A wonderful spot.
A cat on a leash
Jumped up, looking to share,
But she left with her owner
To I don’t know where.
There’s always a chance
For a little surprise
When I sit by the river
With wide-open eyes.
Instead of a clunck it's a clanck
A dreamlike sound to my ears
That irreplaceable new car smell
Not known for many years
Instead of a clunck it's a clanck
I'm driving a brand new jalopy
With all the bells and whistles
My mood is feeling really free
Instead of a clunck it's a clanck
Musta died and gone upstairs
Slapped myself, yup I'm awake
Sitting in my underwear
Instead of a clunck it's a clanck
Jumped up at the stroke of six
Forgot my knickers so here I sit
I'm now in a terrible fix
Instead of a clunck it's a clanck
People start to gather around
To know if I like my new jalopy
Hope they don't look down
Instead of a clunck it's a clanck
Drove off with a confident air
Enjoying my moment of ecstasy
Wind messing up my hair
Instead of a clunck it's a clanck
Moments like these are rare
So very few times in a lifetime
Noticing all the stares
Instead of a clunck it's a clanck
A dreamlike sound to my ears
That oh so yummy new car smell
Missed it for too many years
I am a son of this boundless country man,
I've come to tell the songs of the steppe rather.
When I stride on the soil of my native land,
I've returned as if I were born from my mother.
As if a warm blood flowed through,
My mind becomes clear and pure.
When step on the soil of native land true,
As if he was reborn from his mother.
Even though his hair was always straight,
Even though he was short and white rather.
When he came with his stick on the street,
The whole district was afraid of my father.
I don't know what makes you strong,
Mayor or Director jumped up from seat.
My father would not say one word them,
However, their hearts enormous beat.
Even though you have short legs foot,
You will scare many people keen.
With the pure feelings of childhood,
I embarrassed to be near him.
I often remember those times,
I don't know why I feel ashamed.
My father's lofty spirit these days,
A hot stream flows through my veins.
The air of his birthplace is the medicine,
If you don't breathe that air, everything is in vain.
Above all, on the battlefield of the soul,
My father stands tall like a towering mountain!
The Wicked Witch was Tin Man’s fantasy
He'd never seen such a beauty as she
It rained and his joints seized
Left poor Tin Man quite peeved
Every step that he took was misery...
They stopped at Yellow Brick Rd gas station
Asked the pump jockey for lubrication
He sprayed Tin Man with grease
So, he could move with ease
Tin Man jumped up and down with elation...
He held the witch’s hand but wanted more
But didn't foresee what fate had in store
Something hadn't been greased
Tin Man wasn't too pleased
When his rusted man thing dropped on the floor...
a dog and a frog
who stood on a spoon
and went round the town
in their dressing gown
said the dog to the frog
oh lets spoon to the moon
so they jumped up and down
and the spoon left the ground
look look oh look at the moon
how truly exciting said the dog
spoon spoon we went on a spoon
would you believe it said the frog
to the moon to the moon
travelled the dog and the frog
yes they went on a spoon
and thus ends this short epilogue
death rode by on a scooter today
I gave her a bit of a cheery wave
she frowned at me, and I know why
she wants to be scary,
will give me another try
by noon she had donned a distinctive disguise
dressed as dracula’s daughter, it made me laugh a bit
she jumped up and down, having a terrific fit
you are supposed to be cringing and fearful, you little chit!
I apologized, but she turned her back on me.
Stomped out through my garden, turned into not one, but three.
A mother deer, a raccoon and a spotted fawn.
I knew she would be back, but probably not before dawn.
with a scowl on his face
and tummy huge as a disgrace
he threw a baby fit
that caused old women to twitch
I could not stop looking at the beast
did he have on a diaper at least?
I saw him from the back
all clothing he lacked
he jumped up and down on the table
delighting my old maiden aunt Mable
she saw more than she had ever seen
and she laughed, which was mean
he yelled and he screeched
like a whale that was beached
he was adorable in no way
he swore mean words today
I am in a stupor
a hypnotic daze
my feet no longer work
they have atrophied
soon my body will be a statue
completely petrified
I can blame no one but myself
my recliner is too comfy
If I told you how many hours I have been sitting
you would laugh, thinking it must be a joke
in deference to truth, I did waddle three times to bathroom
but I have been sitting here since 8 a.m. and it is 5:34 p.m.
I moved myself to the couch twice, thinking I would nap
My puppy jumped up out of a catatonic sleep and licked me both times
so here I sit, turning into a dead turnip next to my happy retriever puppy
Claire Catt was having tea one afternoon
Reading a book, as blue birds sang a tune.
The cat sat, loving fragrant breezes of June;
Until she saw red sun, chasing pale moon!
Claire jumped up yelling, 'Nothing is right!
For how can gold sun, run into black night?'
But, orange sun returned, with dawn light.
Then Claire said smiling, now all is right!
A shadow crossed the room
in the corner of my awareness
A cloud outside somewhere, probably,
but for an instant, I thought that motion was you.
Thoughts of you are casually intrusive.
Maybe you’d crawled into my luggage - and hidden.
There’s a complex birthday candle wish.
Desire owes no deference to logic
When I think of you, my tummy becomes warm satin and I know,
that in your hands, I could be boneless and lusciously obedient.
For a while, anyway.
I remember us at the beach, lounging in deep parasol shade,
how your tanned skin glistened with tiny beads of sweat
and your endless legs stretched out like a centerfold’s.
Or you pulling me up out of the pool, one-handed, effortlessly,
with enough force that I briefly flew, and how you’d gently guide me down.
“What are you doing?” I’m virtually slapped out of my erotic fantasy, by Lisa, who’s standing, exasperated, sandaled toes tapping, purse in hand.
“Daydreaming,” I answered weakly, as I jumped up to get myself ready.
Has it only been four days since I left you?
I already feel tragically underheld.
.
.
A song for this:
Ain't it a shame by The B-52s
Locked Inside by Janelle Monáe
Looking out the window of the train
I noticed a beautiful woman waving.
Everything in me wanted me to get up and wave
at her: but in my mind I said
to myself why, the distance and the odds of her
wishing to meet me would dwindle my chance.
I then jumped up from my set and ran to the caboose
and tossed my phone number and name to her
begging her to call me.
We had arrived in Ryes Town and I went to my
hotel room. My phone rang and it was her! The beautiful
woman that I noticed waving at the train as we passed by.
I was to sing in the Ampitheather that night. I had been having
trouble stay on key: I had noticed
myself going off tune quite often. My "Circle of merry friends"
didn't want me to meet the beautiful lady. We had planned to go boating
and have lunches in the summery heat: but I found
meet this woman more exciting and prayed I
was right because not only was she beautiful she was smart.
and any chance for me to be happy. Knowing someone would
rather me sad and blue. I found myself beliving if
she would ally to me I could
be married
if she outreached to someone I call freind
I would be doomed!
Peat and Bogg!
Cherry Sweet!
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