Allowing Myself to Petrify

I am in a stupor a hypnotic daze my feet no longer work they have atrophied soon my body will be a statue completely petrified I can blame no one but myself my recliner is too comfy If I told you how many hours I have been sitting you would laugh, thinking it must be a joke in deference to truth, I did waddle three times to bathroom but I have been sitting here since 8 a.m. and it is 5:34 p.m. I moved myself to the couch twice, thinking I would nap My puppy jumped up out of a catatonic sleep and licked me both times so here I sit, turning into a dead turnip next to my happy retriever puppy