Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
An irrational fear of large or long words
Well, you might say that’s for the birds
And it’s your right to have your say
A hippopotamus for most of us
Is an Artiodactyla, an even toed ungulate
While monstrum in Latin means: unnatural things
A monstrosity, a warning from the gods
While as showoffs, sesquipedalians use long words
So don’t scare them with your Titan Arum
But say to those with Ithyphallophobia
Or to the megalophallian “Nostrvia!”
And don’t be calloused towards
What happens afterwards
Or averse to what happens after “words”
In the post coital spooning
Don’t let your creative inhibition
Be the condition of wrestling with tabula rasa
And don’t let coitus interruptus
Or a caudal Janus face give you writer’s block
(I’m trying to be a gentleman
by calling it a phallus and not a rooster)
So, you won’t find here this fear of
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
I dreamt of my gal Maria
and a trip to the pizzeria,
and, so, I called her up,
"Let's eat pizza and watch the World Cup".
The minute we walked through the door,
I could smell what we had in store.
I inhaled deep and slow -
garlic and oregano.
I looked past my beauty's dazzling eyes,
onto a screen of humongous size,
and heard the customers cheer
as I ordered up a beer.
Zero to zero, the clock did tick
when I saw that amazing kick,
just before the whistle blast,
and the game was over at last.
Just after that incredible shot,
my pizza came and it was hot.
I burned my mouth - Maria laughed,
and said, "that was just the first half".
A coyote howls amidst the blackscreen
of the woods as unknown silhouettes
crawl on earth's crust ,
rainstorm ramming on muddy soil.
The cry of doom threatens each being
when the monstrous hour screeches
to gather a crew of newborns
and within every vomitting breath ,
weak infants tumble over an abyss
of carnage... without resistance.
Mothers wail, yet sharp hands
blackened by thorny nails
grip the fresh bellv of kohl twilight --
Nearer and nearer
hooded spirits so humongous descend ...
their green eyes breaking the window chain,
moving closer for a more macabre feast
while babes wiggle like worms :
I turn the screen off in a dark, dark foyer
my heart throbbing in throes of angst,
hurrying to view if my young son
lays on his crib... dreamily asleep;
my mind wrapped in thrall... where is he?
There's nothing funnier than a cross-eyed chicken
With legs the size of your arm
The Chicken Emporiums would sure love to know
The name of this progressive farm
Aside from the unnerving cross-eyed feature
The implications are really immense
Imagine a leg on your plate so humongous
You wouldn't know where to commence
The cross-eyed feature might cause some concern
If the patrons viewed this poor old bird
Before it was rendered suitable for consumption
It sure looked hilariously absurd
The cross eyes were caused by trying to eject
A super sized extra large egg
Probably gave the poor brave chicken a hernia
Before passing it, for mercy it begged
Such is the way of us civilized humans
Thinking of our bellies all day
Paying no attention to these cross-eyed chickens
As they dance to the hen house ballet
hhmmmmm
In a World of Hurt
Everyone would love, everyone would care,
If only we could forget our fears.
Forget the furrows that divide and scar,
And be in union, as one, once more.
An injured boy, cradled in his mother's lap,
A victim of felony, of shame and of wrath.
Injured by the world, with all its might,
Left to pick up the pieces, through the dark of night.
We live in a world where everyone's a prey,
Where the strong devour the weak, day by day.
A world of humongous size, yet nobody to claim,
A world where love and kindness are but a distant flame.
A mother weeps, as she holds her child tight,
A child who's found peace, in the still of night.
Rest in peace, dear one, may your soul be free,
May your memory live on, wild and carefree.
To the queen of my heart, I hereby decree
That I'll be the best man I can be.
I promise to give you a long, juicy kiss
And a humongous hug to the woman I miss.
I'll cook your favorite meal, help you with the chores,
Buy you things from the 99 Cent Store;
Comfort you when things go wrong,
Serenade you with a beautiful song;
Be there for you every day and night,
And let our romantic fantasies take flight.
I'm so happy that you're my soulmate;
My everlasting love for you won't let me wait.
Ever since the first day we met,
My heart soared like a jumbo jet.
I'd give you the world if you were mine.
What do you say? Will you be my Valentine?
Huge pie in the sky,
visiting her grandparents.
A lofty and crusty bake
from ages ago.
The chill cellar held jars.
Fruits were homegrown,
handpicked, canned.
Humongous, it was not
an average-sized pie.
The gigantic pie, at least
to a child that remembers,
was gorged on satisfying
fat-purple-blueberries.
I can only imagine a taste,
to take a bite out of
1950’s life. My tongue
red and blue, savoring.
My memory only holds
my Great-Grandma
in a corner chair
in her daughter’s home;
and a couple visits
to our home
with her sister.
At least I remember that,
but paint me purple,
or let me go closer,
for her granddaughter
made me rhubarb pie.
That’s my mama,
whose Great-Grands
will only mostly recollect
what I surrender
from the past.
The earth is big and the earth is old.
There are so many things
in vast creation to behold
that time and nature bring.
One more, one less, it matters not,
for those who earth, inhabit -
one less tasty sunburnt apricot,
another tawny rabbit.
Yet, some species are in short supply -
indeed they are at risk.
It would be a tragedy if one should die
beneath our yellow disk.
There's the giant panda and the rhino,
and let's not forget
white polar bears in vanishing snow -
and the Chinese egret.
In the ocean, there's the humongous blue whale,
whose sonic vibrations
go up and down the frequency scale -
remarkable vocalizations.
But there's such an abundance of men,
I think it's safe to say,
my presence makes no difference, then -
today, tomorrow, yesterday.
After a long, long snooze, Rip Van Winkle
Woke with a start, his duds all a-wrinkle
Said he, a bit dotty
"Quick! Bring me a potty
I'm in need of a humongous tinkle!"
Give Or Take
Miracle Man
8/22/2024
Our country is fast becoming,
morally laid in waste.
Many embrace this change,
while others feel abased.
Nefarious people are making,
troublesome news each day.
We no longer view our laws,
being black and white, but gray.
Our Government has now become,
like a humongous money tree.
Illegals are treated far better,
with a stipend they live rent free.
Looting and killing is rampant,
with protesters voicing their views.
With covered faces, they burn our flag,
in protest toward ourselves and Jews.
“The wheel that squeaks the loudest,
always gets the grease.”
Hey all you poopers
Please take my advice
Smile at the world
Always try to be nice
Even when people
Are rude and obnoxious
Pretend you don't notice
Don't cause a big ruckus
The world is searching
For people like us
To show them the way
This way is a must
We sure can survive
The damage that's done
It isn't too late
Send the blues on the run
To start let's abolish
All the wars and strife
We weren't meant for that
Let's clean up our life
We can start at home
A great place to start
More harmony there
Is good for the heart
Tell your loved ones
How much they all mean
You'll love their reaction
They'll burst at the seams
In closing I'll send you
Big hugs quite rambunctious
You'll think I'm a bear
My hugs so humongous
Hey all you Poopers
Did you take my advice
Smile at the world
Always try to be nice
Have you ever seen a horsey grin
They've got humongous amounts of teeth
Their dentist bill must be atrocious
It's almost beyond belief
Whenever they get a toothache
They feel it right down to their hoofs
You can hear their screams over in China
They just about hit the roof
Really feel sorry for these equine types
They're usually such amiable sorts
They never complain if you're 300 pounds
They're such amazing good sports
Named him “Toothy”, this friend of mine
Tell him, “Brush those dentures real good!”
The cost of a plate of false teeth for horsies
Is astronomical in all likelihood
Every year government allots humongous amount of money to schools for buying new books. Alas! bought, catalogued..library decorated with shiny books! End of the year, many of those books are not even touched! Keeps happening year after year! Are books being irrelevant in children's lives?!!!! What about tax-payers' money?
12/5/2023
Ridiculous, so, inhumane and grossly unfair!
Does a Trans-sexual think he has special flair?
Invading swimming pools like humongous whales?
Ensuring,that female swimming competitions fail?
These are things,not a poem had the chutzpah to addres
I fnd such topics should neither be hidden nor suppressed!
We buried our dog, Ding
With her favorite things,
Like our couch, plus our bed
And pillows for our head.
Our carpet she muddled
With dirt and pee puddles,
The window she stared through
To bark at who knows who.
The hedge she sniffed and chewed,
All of our leather shoes,
My truck’s passenger seat,
But not the children’s feet.
Two of our best chickens
She chased like the dickens,
Seven of my wife’s hats,
But not much more than that.
We paid a contractor
Who with a large tractor,
Dug a humongous hole
For our dear doggy’s soul.
And it did our heart good
Though we now sleep on wood;
Without a comforter,
Since we did comfort her.
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