Gloaming gone, gloom begins;
gabbling ghouls gyrate on
gargoyles, gawping with their
grim glaucous eyes, scaring
gravid girls, gormless boys;
goatish hooves gigue upon
gibbets, grave corpses jig.
A lack of forward planning raised a question just for me
What kind of numpty vacuums… THEN sets up the Christmas tree?
Hailstones on the mat
A feral Tom cat lingers
Doors that never shut
As hailstones strafe junk mail and mat
Where feral is the alley cat
On one hinge hangs
The door that bangs
And he ain’t going out in that
The feral cat whilst oftentimes homeless, is, it seems, at no time gormless
26 January 2022
Contest: Charlie Hai-Lim-Ku poetry contest
Sponsor: Charles Messina
Stan Laurel
thinks he can sing in reality he warbles
His best buddy Hardy slaps him quiet
Before he can start another riot.
Oliver Hardy
Is usually farty so he abstains from drink
Gormless Laurel slurps Manhattans all night
Warbling and singing without stage fright.
Clerihew 2
Poetry Contest
Enter Contest
Sponsored
by
Joseph May
30/09/2021
Corona Virus..... oh shut up or shut down?
We are all in the same crisis run-a-round.
With or without Trump and Brexit it's the same ole' coffin.
There's no cure for the gormless boffin.
by
Martin Braun
3/14/2020
If it looks like a man and acts like a man, a man it should be. Not you? Not me?
If it sings like a black bird and it looks like a black bird I guess it’s a black bird to me.
If it sounds like bee and it stings like a bee then surely a bee is what it’d be.
My wife said something to me:
“What’s standing in front of me?”
“I’ll give a clue because that gormless expression is too pitiful to see”
“If it looks like an idiot and it sounds like an idiot, to what do you think I refer to, what is it I see?
I shrugged my shoulders and said quietly:
Me?
My mum used to say “don't be gormless!”
but I've never met someone with gorm,
so I really don't know if I'm different to them
or if I am, this is the norm?
My friend says his wife can be ruthless,
but no-one I know of has ruth,
although back when I was around twenty-two
I dated one, that is the truth.
I think sometimes I can be reckless,
I've looked for my reck but it's gone,
maybe I can't find it because I'm inept
so I'll just be outept from now on.
The worst of wars occur within the home
The earth’s a mother whom we treat with scorn.
Although on foreign trips we gormless roam
We care not how our holy mother’s torn.
The planes’ emissions do not disappear
Our waste is thrown to devastate all space.
The universe is bounded like a sphere
The noxious decorates with thoughtless trace.
The condoms and the women’s bloody cloths
The petrol fumes, the plastic bags, the base
Are scattered like a demon’s tortured wrath
Across our mother’s universal face
Can we avert the death of earth, this fate?
Will we dawdle till it is too late?
Birdwatching from a hide
Two old gents sit side by side
As the rain settles in
Sid reaches for his tin
"Cheese sandwich Frank?"
"Errrr, no thanks, they look a bit rank"
"It's only cheese and bread you know?"
"Yes, but how old Sid, HOW old?"
"I found them in my shed, been there a while since they were made"
"Look....a Water rail Sid"
Binoculars then accidentally fall and hit the floor
They can't be used anymore
The shy bird is spooked
The bang made it think someone could shoot
In the confusion of it all
The sandwich tin takes a fall!
Sid looks out of the hide, the bird has gone and so's his pride!
Sid then looks at his friend Frank
Quiet and still his returning glance
A Robin then lands in front of the hide
It looks at both men sat in the hide
It seems to realise from their look
That there's no story in their book!
They both then watch the bird fly away
Sit in silence for the rest of the day
A quiet stillness settles in
As two gormless men sit with an empty tin.
Sid and Frank are having a conversation in Sid's shed. This is usually the extent of parlance between the two men. Please remember, both are the most gormless men on the planet.
Can you guess what they are talking about?
Well?
Yes...
What?
No!
Didn't?
Did.
Ok?
No.
Sorry!
Yes......
Tea?
Sid pointed to his mouth and told Frank:
"Dentist pulled my tooth out"
"Hurt?"
"I"
"Why?"
"Doesn't work"
"False?"
"No, it hurt!"
"False tooth?"
"No, it was mine"
"False teeeeeeth?"
Frank said now pointing to his mouth!
Silence
Gormless
"Tea?"
"Jammy dodger or custard cream?"
"Bourbons!"
"Not got none"
"Still got some left"
"Where"
"In my mouth!"
"Bourbons?"
"Teeth"
Without gorm, both men.
Frank stood looking at his plants
Sid said: "Frank what you looking at?"
Frank said: "My plants"
"Oh, well then what, I'll join you"
Frank looked at Sid
Sid looked at Frank
They both then slowly turned their heads to look at the plants
Silence ensued
Gormless both men!
"What a' the doing?"
Said Sid to Frank
"Growing"
"Ah well then...can you see them?"
"Stood here looking, heard 'em moving"
Frank slowly turned to Sid and then slowly back again
Sid slowly turned to Frank then slowly back again.
Gormless both men!
"Funny thing these runner beans aren't they?"
"Why?"
"Don't move, don't even walk"
"Mmmmmmmmmm?"
Without gorm, both men.
Frank said: "what's the story?"
Sid said: "what story's that then?"
Frank looked at Sid
Sid looked at Frank
Silence for a minute
Gormless both men.
"Slug ate my lettuce"
Sid pointed to a corner near his shed
"Eeeeeh, well tha' knows what that
means don't ya?"
"What's that then?"
"Time for a cuppa tea Sid"
"Best put kettle on then"
"Strange things them slugs aren't they?"
"Pity, poor little buggers lost their
shells, eh?"
"Shells?"
"That's Snails"
"Nails?"
Sid looked at Frank
Frank looked at Sid
Without gorm, both men
sat down in silence.
I once had a girlfriend
Her name was gormless Sue
They mustuck her for a Gorilla
and put her in a Zoo.
They fed her bananas
through the bars of her cage
and soon caught the eye
of a young male called Dave.
Dave chased her around
the cage every day and all through the night
and it wasn't a pretty site.
Sue begged me to save her and let her out
So y picked the lock
and she ran out screaming
and ran and never stopped.
Then the zoo keeper
mistook me for a bear
No one let me out and I'm still there.
Ah Well what can you do
Suppose I;ll just have ro grin and'' bear'' it
Peter Dome.copyright.2014.march
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.