The machine lit up
like a small cathedral—
chrome saints hopping
under glass,
the silver gospel
of the pinball
spinning wild
between my hands.
It was my birthday—
twenty-one—
and free beers
rang up like prayers.
Each flipper slap
a hallelujah,
each tilt shrugged off
in neon glare.
The hours blew away
like cheap confetti.
The undulating sidewalk
tilted just before I did,
and the keyhole
danced just out of reach
while my cat waited,
unimpressed.
I woke up hours later
to my worried cat
meowing and
looking up at me.
I leaned in close
to reassure him—
and showered his head
with vomit, dismayed.
He left his verdict
in my shoes—
a damp reminder,
sharp and clear.
Tail high,
he walked away avenged,
his conscience
undisturbed by guilt.
He eventually
forgave me—
as creatures wiser
than us often do.
I cleaned my shoes,
drank far less beer,
and never puked on
my cat again.
The pipe major at the front led the way
On this cold and windy St Patrick's day
He was six foot and well built
A freak gust blew up his kilt
The crowd cheered at his manhood on display...
Rage deep
Fire in my gut
Anger inside shut
Fire corrupted burning
Ever ever churning
Regret above
Fire in my head
Shame bright red
Fire unwanted burning
Ever ever learning
Return inside
Fire in my heart
Love again start
Fire subtly burning
Ever ever curing
• She's a doll like no other
• Takes after her mother
• I'm an embarrassment with feet
• Someone you wouldn't want to meet
Embarrassing, so embarrassing, what will I do?
The things I've done my whole life through!
I'll reverse the hairdryer and vacuum them up.
I'll mix them with the dog food and feed it to the pup.
What a mess, oh, what a mess, I reversed the flow.
Embarrassing things now float around like snow.
I pray to the lord in heaven that nobody sees.
It's like one big gargantuan, embarrassing sneeze.
Old grandpa, silly grandpa, have you lost your mind?
You're as crazy as a coot and a loon, combined.
This is no place for an ancient, befuddled gnome.
We are going to have to put you into a home.
Dull
as a
board meeting
until he growled
“Who ripped out the fart?”
and then the room
exploded
in zany
laughs
Why did the moon rise tonight all red faced?
Is it embarrassed by humans disgraced,
By their uncaring disregard and waste,
On the planet they have trashed and defaced?
Why do they come up here with such distaste?
Leave all their junk here, with moon face debased
By their footprints and scats left here in haste!
With no thought for how it leaves me red-faced
Why do you have to come here so shamefaced?
Please stay at home and leave me unchasted.
With celestial body, clean and white-faced.
No embarrassment endureth
With Cain’s murder of Abel: Seth,
A new born child after a death,
Tooth paste and brush for stale breath…
No embarrassment endureth:
None ever a lot achieveth,
Fights, short or long, knife back to sheath,
Water for months gone still a bath,
Years and years of naught then a wreath…
No embarrassment long liveth
Or the endless worries giveth,
Save banging of Mother by Son…
In that case, the Devil has won!
In a family, The Black Sheep
The cleaner ones forces to weep
With acts that make the skin creep
And they wish they'd put him to sleep...
Black sheep with his embarrassment
In the public fullest harassment
Of his Famous Hero Brother;
All he knows of the same mother...
"See, I need your car key, right now
And if I can't, say " Why" and "How"...
I should you on your white shirt grip
And apart the same white shirt rip!
Black Sheep as long lasts as Tortoise
For the sake of Satan' s purpose.
My bank account is sorely tried
Seems I have overspent on funs,
I must learn to swallow my pride
My bank account is sorely tried!
I’ve found it hard to put aside
Now I am getting lots of duns,
My bank account is sorely tried
Seems I have overspent on funs.
SECOND PLACE WINNER
Written August 19, 2022
submitted to "Triolet - Old or New" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Joseph May
[syllables checked with How Many syllables
rhymes checked with Rhyme Zone]
The world is in great troubles
Virus,inflation,disasters and wars
Politicians busy giving
A wearisome flood of sermons
Whys and wherefores
Dreams and expectations
Fallacies and illusions
Maybe they are no jokes
Just with a super power
Like Superman
Just splendidly excellent
Like Wright Brothers
Maybe they are just
Some superficial jokes
To cover the awkward embarrassment
Maybe they are just a taste of hegemony
Whenever I say I can
You must believe
flimsy fig leaf blade
belies the belittlement
of hiding under
Five fine artistes combine The Outrageous
With love messages ‘Courageous’,
Their offered songs a triple grand
For an innumerable-like-sand:
For their slumping admirers catchers on hand:
Blokes who had the youthful band
Glowingly judged Firebrand
And to their hairs hit to every strand,
Everyone of them happy to stand…
Really, Youngsters who could about thrash
And it wasn’t just for The Cash
Between Singing Vince and Drumming Nash…
But Alas! by Mr. President reduced,
Who had from The Gloss some loss deduced
“Please these kids are to go back to school
And to-Double Please!-Stick to every rule”.
There really had been lots of “Wanna Wanna”
And a Galore of “Gonna Gonna”.
The food tasted so very yummy
He crammed it all in his tummy
Soon he wanted to poo
But there was no loo
Had it before found a toilet crummy
Feb.16.2022
A New Bawdy or Humorous Limerick
Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Tania Kitchin
His poems were about racism.
About the white man who wouldn't hire him
because he was a “dirty Mexican.”
My mind shivered in disgust.
In the end he said, “…and I thank my wife…”
He spotted her in the audience, nodded, and
smiled lovingly.
I immediately turned to look for the Hispanic
woman in the crowd.
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