Love without
Love within
Love where I am
where I’ve been
Beginning to think:
far too much abundance
of this foolish, loving folly,
so I kicked my
wagging tail collie --
loving view~
it just ain’t fair! – attempting to escape,
I journeyed to the zoo
wouldn’t you know it,
two loving ape there too
along to the park
high in birch nest
spied I a pair of nurturing
lark, near
another pair of
snuggling Red Breast --
two nests,
fondly sharing, the same supporting limb
depressingly glim...
a loving co-op I must confess – such loving
caress – sadly, much more loving
needing my critical address:
a young boy helping
an old lady off the bus~
gentle, avoiding painful
fuss
a bow-haired girl
giving a bowl of milk to a feral cat
(I prefer a brat!) --
Expressing pure love
by her selfless care, makes a
ornery boy cuss
for a devout prune-face like me
I disapprovingly profess
this entire day,
a freaking loving Mess!
Every Wednesday my company has a meeting after work.
Not a drinking, carousing, laughing, eating meeting.
Rather a staid, sad, depressing, numbers are down again meeting.
It has taken on a depressingly steady downhill dour attitude for eleven months.
To entertain myself, I study the players.
Chostsy, who wears her dresses too tight, and plays with her legs.
Barney, who perpetually looks at his phone under the table.
Dramada who apparently has no life and never wants to leave.
Just as we start to go, she asks a question.
Only it is not really a question. It is always something more.
A way to obtain accolades, attention, or credit for something.
She likes to be noticed, and apparently has a terrible home life.
She keeps the meeting going for another horrible extra thirty minutes or so.
Every month the same scenario.
One month Barney died, so I looked at my phone under the table.
Dramada raised her hand to ask the question just as we started to rise to leave.
“Sit back down!” the boss instructed us.
Apparently she has nowhere to be either.
I wish they would just stay and chat with each other.
soaking wet trees, despondent
leaves hang depressingly low
steady rain water torture
— gothically stark
11/12/2018
So many people love it blue
there's much of it all around
look up at the deep blue sky
behind that golden sun, it's found
Go swimming down at the beach
there you go in the deep blue sea
the weather at times is really grim
especially that rainy water for free
Years ago in soccer-mad England
the Chelsea team had a hot song
'blue is the colour' was its name
everybody was singing it forever long
Many poor souls feel so badly blue
having moods depressingly dark
but others look up past blue sky
up to God to find redemptions ark
Everything in the past that could get her down
Plays in her mind to the sound
Of sweet torture.
It's a scorcher
Like the burning suns rays on a hot day
Traumatic thoughts must have his way
Burn those memories!
Don't allow them to resurface
Find an outlet for your energy
Don't let them make you feel worthless!
Traumatic thoughts depressingly inteferes
Fades away and then reappears
He recalls every failure
All her socially awkward behavior
Scattered in her mind
Stop being so unkind...
To yourself!
Place these memories on a shelf
Tranquilize those memories!
Because they want to resurface
Find an outlet for your energy
You are not worthless!
You are beautiful and bold
Get a hold
Of yourself...
Restore your health.
With downcast heart many times
I thought now
It's all or nothing
why compromise,
why complicate the physics, and then I think,
I don't have to live like this anymore.
No?
So remind me then, Is this evolution....
I feel so depressingly doomed,
so enamored with the past tense.
I'm not here to overcome all the difficulties in your life.
Come on have a drink you sad drunk tree, before I go crazy.
Restless awakening behoves my mood
Unrelated, deep dragging thoughts conspire
Surely, my love's doubt of me misconstrudes
Why, my confessions of love all aspire
Depressingly, the day stretches ahead
Twelve hours, 720 minutes
Each passes, so.... slowly, I am so sad
Wrestling my inner demons, life's the pits
Her vision swims... no longer can resist
A text, I cannot believe one from her!
Reciprocate, by return, she does insist
Her love intact, she wants me to concur
To text..... dare I show again - to be dashed
No......what a bummer, internet has crashed!
8/20/16
I have seen eyes filled with
Tears,
Hands involuntarily jiggling with
Fears,
Depressingly folks been telling peace,
But war remained and peace
Never came to their ears.
I scream peace unto the world,
Well it doesn't matter statute,
And how old,
But how you treat others and their gratitude.
Have peace deep inside your hearts,
I cry peace, oh!
People we are merged parts.
Peace unto Africa, Asia,
All of the universe,
There's no need for linear,
Parish inequality and lets rehearse.
Peace unto the killing of innocent people,
I am talking peace upon loving couple,
We are one living,
And I am not done telling.
Sauntered into the chat-room site
looking for conversational delight;
But what I found, depressingly,
was no one much interested in me;
first room in, what happened there?
It quickly emptied into silent air;
second one was not much different,
it turned into time not well spent;
several tries and none was better,
made me wonder, then to fretter;
decided to give it a rest for while,
next time won’t post my pic profile.
The bitter sweet autumn,
Bitter sweet autumn;
During the month of great pride;
In A week of enjoyment,
But the summer did end at last.
End of summer, end of summer, times shall change,
The day of change came,
A sad day;
sad day, sad day, depressingly sad day,
a harsh reality,
A reality of sadness and sorrow;
An unknown surprise.
A surprise, a surprise, a nasty surprise;
But on the other side,
Oh on the other side,
There was a spark of sweetness,
So Complex and so fine;
This spark of great wisdom,
It showed itself to all;
Oh spark of great wisdom, spark so majestic;
For all who did see it,
And for all who did not;
This spark of great wisdom,
It made itself shine.
It shined, it Shined, it fluorescently shine,
Over all the rest;
That sad little blip,
Oh how it was gone.
It was gone for good, and so was the summer,
It never came back.
The past, the past, that beautiful past,
It was gone for good;
And never came back.
I thought we would last
Forever
But I don't know anything
Anymore
I don't know how to be
Happy
Our life is so beautifully
Depressing
Or is it depressingly
Beautiful
There is something so seriously
Ironic
You were so terribly
Unhappy
And you sought
Another
Now I am so seriously
Unhappy
Yet care to have no
Other
I want to inhale every piece of
You
I want to lay down inside of
You
Time and age can be so
Cruel
Yet it is
Life
That plays the biggest
Tricks
How do you give solace to a girl with a broken heart
when your heart has not yet mended from her falling in love with him?
How do you answer her questions for advice
when you know the best advice to give further damages your chance?
How do you lend a shoulder for her to cry on
when your entire body aches to embrace her lovingly?
How do you listen to her plans for making up
when you wish your friendship could be replaced by romance?
Silently, you suffer the torture of one-sided love.
Stoically, you pretend to be happy as her friend.
Selflessly, you let her go when you desperately want her to stay.
Stupidly, you swallow those three words you want to say.
You try convincing yourself you are happy by her happiness,
even though her happiness with another makes you depressingly sad.
You wear the mask of a brother-like relative
even though the jealously is driving you mad.
To leave her far behind would mean your freedom and your end.
Never to know her as a lover, you will suffer lonely as a friend.
Words etched blankly on a paper,
Without feeling or love.
Ink fades away depressingly,
And paper stains away and loses life.
I try desperately to write something close to the heart,
But it comes out a lie.
Real thoughts like “why bother” and “what’s the point” fill my head.
It leaves this paper halfway done,
And my ink left sad and unused.
Ill give up and turn my back on the thing that holds me together.
Because there are no colors other than black I can see,
And I feel so alone,
Running in the same spot,
Trying to escape from the monsters I hold secretly.
This ink leaks from my eyes,
And leaves stains in the open.
For me to always remember.
Exhilaration, delirious happiness,
Accompanied by a stomach made too light, lifting,
Floating, follows after the sweet, the oh so sweet kiss
Of finding the one, perfection in the imperfections.
Contentedness, a feeling of completeness,
Your heart, swelling with the unexplainable,
That which ties all within this, our world,
Encompassing all, yet jealously private, just you two.
Then, despairing, distraught, two as one no longer
But apart, so, so far apart, distances vast,
Planning, hoping, wishing, yet contact depressingly brief,
Six months, a year, and your heart wails, alone.
So alone, yet not so.
Perseverance, compassion, stronger, day by day,
Alone in body, physical frame, cage that is flesh,
Yet together in that, the unexplainable,
Outside the cage, beyond what is known.
So alone, yet not so.
Dreams focus as tears from years of misfortune flood my eyes,
Lies being told that I'm ok ,day to day the words I fail to deny.
I try to accept that things will change and rearrange the way they make me feel
This puzzle doesn't fit, I'm a psychotic fit and everything seems so unreal.
Trapped in chaos from what's been lost and slowly going insane,
The voices haunt me and whisper seductively that all Ill ever feel is pain.
I sweat remorse and bleed with shame the nights filled with a sorrowful game
Of cat and mouse chasing my brain and drowning in times sandy grain
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