TIME IS NOT ON MY SIDE
I STARTED TRYING AT THE WRONG
TIME
THE WISHES FOR DYING KEEP LYING
I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING BUT
JUST TO WISH I DIDN'T
DONT BELIEVE IN UR SELF
DONT TRY UR BEST GIVE UP HOPE ND
LEAVE IT TO TGE REST
MAYBE THAN THAT HEART BEAT IN
UR CHEST
WILL STOP SOME CALL IT CARDIAC
ARESST
WE SAY WE BLESS ME ALL I HAVE IS
MESS
MY FAMILY SAY THEY LOVE ME THEY
EVEN SAY THEY CARE BUT Y I
SHOULD I BELIEVE THAT THEY DONT
EVEN MAKE SURE IM STILL HERE..
IM TIRED OF MY LIFE I WISH IT
WAS DONE BEFORE IT EVEN BEGUN
Look into My eyes and you'll see
what I feel.
You'll know my heart aches.
You'll know my pain.
I'll let you know my hopes and
dreams.
Look into My eyes let me show you
who I am.
Let me show you the hell I go
through everyday.
Let me tell you what I like to do.
Let me teach you what I like to do.
Open your eyes and look into mine.
I'll show you the true me.
I miss you, my baby.
It's not easy for me to say goodbye.
I miss you and I wish I could stay.
I can't understand these feelings anymore.
I miss you and I feel very lonely.
It's hard for me to go
'Cause I miss everything that we do.
I miss you but I want you to be happy.
I miss you, my love.
I wish we could be together soon.
I hope to see you again.
I miss the old you-and the old me.
Life goes on around me.
I must pretend that I'm alright
Even though it's too difficult
For me without you by my side.
I miss you so much.
I know you never see me cry.
But the truth is,
I cry for you every day.
I dream about the day
Just you and me
Talking about what we wanted to be
'Cause what matters to me
Is you and my family.
...Can you stop my
tears?
Can you take away my
fears?...
Everyday I cry
Everyday I try
To make a sense of it all
And see the height
above the wall,
Yet I see nothing there
So I resume my crying
here!...
Life is so unjust
To me it has given dust
To others it gave gold
So much that I need not
to be told.
Am I suffering for a
crime
Which my fathers had
done before time?
Or is it my little sins
That is giving me these
in milk tins?...
Help is the greatest of
my needs
Cos every second my
heart bleeds
From the agony of my
situations
Which has been for
generations!...
So out of my teary eyes
Bringing out streams of
waters cold as ice!
I look up to heaven
Which they say
numbers seven
And cry aloud
As much as my croaky
voice allowed...
...Can you stop my
tears?
Can you take away my
fears?...
I'm too far gone,
I don't know what I want anymore,
Guess this drink is getting to me,
It's like I stepped into Sin City,
With all these dudes in my face,
With my dress out of place,
Mascara smeared,
because of my tears,
And I could care less,
Right now I want a cute guy with perfect
abs,
Tell me that you want to dance,
Tell me that you ain't looking for
romance,
Because my heart is already shattered,
My money and your time is all that
matters,
Tell me that because my confidence is
damaged,
Tell me that and my mind? You can have
that,
Because I no longer feel ashamed,
I've been dealt into too many games,
I'm Tired
I need to hear lies .
Let Me Through The Looking
Glass
Down by my window, and I
think
Let me go through the looking
glass
"As if I am so visionary
To project some conspiracy
Don't trudge down that frozen
road"
Let me go through the looking
glass
Let me lay bare hallucination
Under a coat of imagination
Traversing desert land so vast
I will stand by my deception
Barring solid intersection
Let me through the looking
glass!
"I saw the man
in the mirror
Contort his mask
Then woke, aghast"
Spilt my milk in the morning
Stole my brother's breakfast
bread
Ran through the gate, out of
the door
Ran until I dreamt no more
Let me go through the looking
glass!
*(") represents italics
She turns around and smiles
"so now you're happy"
I look at her, it's been a while
"no, things are still crappy".
Without a word, she reaches forward
and touches my pale dry cheek.
It's my heart...she's working towards
refilling all the blood that'd leak.
I saw the scars on her arm.
They made me cold but my soul warm
"There are seven" she grinned.
I knew instantly: each stood for a deadly sin.
Some were fresh, some were fading.
The pain on her face...I knew she was feigning!
and it made me tear up inside
because all this time, with me she had been beside.
"Is it bleeding again?" she asked.
Nothing did I do and nothing did I say.
She stroked gently and pulled out some shattered glass
"Maybe for you, there is another way..."
Suddenly, she crumbles to the floor.
From her chest, red liquid starts trickling down
and all I can do is panic as I run to the door.
The Gold Gate opens...and I forget how to frown.
Watching the sun set as the
light fades away. Sitting alone
waiting for this feeling to go
away. The feeling of wanting a
hand, the feeling I can't stand.
The feeling of waiting for you,
even if your existence isn't
true...the feeling of wanting to
cry...the feeling of wanting to
die. The feeling that nobody is
there, the feeling of distress
and despair. If only somebody
cared. feeling so empty without
you on my side, makes me feel
as if a part of me has died... I
don't know where to go from
here, so I guess I'll just
continue shedding my lonely
tears....
World closes in
The water overwhelms
Reaching for hand
But not the hand that was dealt
Save me please
Don't let me slip
I can't see the end
And i might not win
I want piece of mind
And when I'm with you
I'm allowed to be weak
Because I know you'll protect
So here I am now
Ready to jump.....
But not off this cliff
But into your arms
I hate you.
You tourment me constantly
Pulling me through whirl winds
Pushing me through doors not ment to be
open
Scarring my outside with lines not ment to
be walked on
You trample and steal souls
A demon within me and it has no goal
Just destruction and confussion
Youre a bomb and there is no diffusion
I hate you.
You love the feeling of scratching and
prawding never being comfortable is what
you live for
But from this day on i say no more
i shouldnt feel as if a new day is a
chore
I shouldnt want any of this but
17 years is a long time to be unhappy and
i dont know if it will ever go away i want
my family I want my friends i want my
happiness and to not letting me have that
would be the cruelest thing on the planet
so "God" i pray give me life in which i
want to live give me a smile i can share
give me my independent freedom so i can
help myself, help myself please. Amen.
You left and don't seem like you'll return
You left, and now I'm not me.
Left alone; left empty and desolate,
You abandoned me, you left me.
You left me in despair; in depression.
Should I be content with your decision?
Should I accept all that I am now
And stop seeking you?
You that is me; should I?
Am I suppose to leave the me I once was
And just accept the me that I am now?
The me that is in a depressive state.
I found you once, but you only resided
For a few moments.
Now I am unable to find you: permanently?
Do you wish not to be found?
I must say that I feel I should just leave.
I should just stop searching and remain,
Remain in my current state.
Yes, that I'll do; remain I will.
If you wish, you can come and find me,
For I have abandoned my search
For the one who left, you: me.
If you cannot find me or wish not to,
I am content, I am fine with this me
The depressed and silent; I believe I'll keep.
Days like this i wish to be
happy but with every
gravitating force you set me
back to square one. Pleasure is
rewarded within you. Misery
once falls when im alone. You
take me on a ride to heaven
then pitch me down to hell.
Even him to were a angel.
Theres a tunnel of light with
every pill i take yet i continue
to ignore the signs of fate.
Living my life through this
broken mirror i tend to hide the
pieces i cant see. I heard you
call for me i cried out your
name... You see this thing
called addiction is just a devils
game.
Take a moment and see me
cry,
Take a moment before you say
goodbye.
Listen to me when I scream for
you,
Listen to me as I break in two.
Watch my pain as it tears into
me,
Watch my pain while it burns
blindly.
Don't turn away from this
broken view,
Don't turn away because you
know it's true.
See me cry.
See me scream.
See me yell.
See me bleed.
See me whisper I love you.
See me pray so I forget you.
Whence will thine eyes release me from the rain,
That floods thy face with fountain cries of fear?
Hence harm that harmonizes heartless pain,
With no disguise for thunderstorms or tear.
'Twas salted seas that sailed beneath my brow,
With hiccupps of a heartache left by her.
No news will nevermind the nausea now,
Inside my soul that stirs with no answer.
Shall stars surprise this spirit with a smile,
After sunsets that shadow seas of sin?
Believe I breathe a breath that mutes to dial,
A happiness that heaven loathes to win.
Deceive me dear as I will drown this day,
With tears tomorrow timidly today.
It's a letter to you and me
Better living for denial
We focus on the ink
Not on the pink
Or any of our once
Cheesy smiles
I lock up inside
One thing on my mind
A way to leave
Constant tear soaked rhymes
If this taught me anything
It would be an entire lesson
plan
School is their for me allways
Freinds, girlfriends they seem
to
Never pick a place and stand
So with a 4.0 on my paper
And tears in my eyes maybe
Ii can tell myself how proud I
am
And a different side will rise
I want to want to be alone
Nobody holding my hand
And I have myself to call my
own
It's too bad I needed to trip
After I fell but I will make this
mine
Because this fire
I have dosn't belong in Hell
The fire I have belongs in my
heart
And out of my eyes
The only one that should fight
Should have no chance to die
Help me on my journey
if you want
But helping you is not
automatic anymore and
Reaching is the only way this
time
There is no next time
This change is within my bones
Look at a timeline long enough
And you realized you make
your path
And only you should have the
potential
To walk it wrong...
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