polar bear up north
posing for the camera
dressed for warmth in fur
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
I am not warmth denied.
I am clarity revealed.
You call me cold, as if that were a curse.
But cold is not cruelty.
Cold is precision.
Cold is the silence that listens longer than the noise ever could.
I was not born in comfort.
I was forged in exile—cast out by blood, by law, by the trembling hands of those who feared what they could not name.
They called me devil.
They called me waste.
They called me dangerous.
But I did not burn.
I crystallized.
I walk alone, not because I choose solitude,
but because the world chose to shut its doors.
And in that silence, I found my shape.
Not broken. Not bitter.
Just sharpened.
I am the frost that coats the edges of truth.
I do not flinch.
I do not beg.
I do not melt for comfort.
I am the one grain that stands apart.
I am the breath in the winter air that reminds you you’re alive.
I am the chill that wakes you from delusion.
I am the clarity that comes when the fire dies down and the lies stop burning.
You may fear me.
You may misjudge me.
But you will not erase me.
I am the frost.
And I endure.
Surely one day,
I won’t know ‘alone’.
Surely one day,
I won’t go,
I won’t go anywhere alone.
Surely one day,
I can hold on to you,
Whenever I’m cold.
Surely some way,
I can hum to you,
The tune to our song.
I don’t know no dance,
But you make me laugh,
Smile,
I’m stuck in your trance.
You know you cross my mind,
You make my heart beat,
So fast,
I wanna slow dance.
Soft and filled with petals of roses,
I’m dizzy as lingerie falls to the floor.
One door opens as the other closes,
delighted now I am free to explore.
Silk sheet origami such sensual art.
Let us disrupt it, take off my dress.
Are you ready for heat sweetheart?
I already feel more than a little listless.
So gentle yet hard on my insides,
your mouth on my neck I may retch.
An internal flame full of elevated tides,
we’re a vision I could never sketch.
Allowing my silence to take control,
something only you could teach me.
I swore my pen wasn’t on your payroll.
I’m left to give up, give in completely.
Internal debate whether I can stand,
as I fight with falling so hard for you.
Possessing a T.K.O with your left hand,
I’m out cold a victim of our rendezvous.
You call me villain, cold and cruel,
Yet I’ve done nothing but breathe and endure.
I walk alone, not to isolate—
But to escape the sting of your quiet war.
You don’t scream, you don’t strike,
But your silence cuts deeper than knives.
You dress your disdain in concern,
And call it care while you twist my mind.
You say I need help,
But never ask what hurt me.
You diagnose me with your own delusions,
Projecting shadows where there’s only light.
I’ve searched myself for the monster you see,
But found only bruises from your beliefs.
You wear sanity like a crown,
But it’s forged from fear, not truth.
I am not broken.
I am not yours to fix.
I am not your mirror,
And I won’t reflect your chaos back.
So call me cold—
I’ve learned to freeze the pain.
Call me villain—
I’ve survived your story without becoming it.
But don’t call me crazy.
Because sanity isn’t yours to define.
And I am not yours to destroy.
Surprise sun showers
will sparkle in midday
silver saliva droplets
drip down Sun's blushing face
dewey unprepared petals
a surprisingly similar sensation
shuttering of screen doors
dreaming with eyes wide open
blowing around in warm wind
watching dark clouds roll away
now only cool wind blows
pushing away the hottest day
1.
hot coffee cradled
in cold hands -
I sip slowly
2.
doona -
nightlong tug of war
between head and feet
They, without a trace of shame,
painted their hearts with the crimson blood of their lovers’ lips.
And I… my only share was the cold blue of the moon,
spilled carelessly,
like a tear severed from the sky,
upon my cheeks.
Those drops sank into the ridges of my heart,
painting my eyes with a lifeless gleam,
and the moon’s quiet sorrow wound through my soul
at 3 A.M.,
before I surrendered to sleep.
I was fragile beneath the blade of the sun,
and the conqueror of stars
that dared not draw near.
cold brewed caffeine fix
facing head on the heatwave
~ uplifting delight
Dog chases his tail round and round,
was he spell bound?
He looks very funny,
like a wound up dog bunny.
Did you ever feel like this crazy dog?
Are you living in a fog?
Maybe you are asking where am I going?
Is life unknowing?
Could we be chasing our own tail?
Take a deep breath and have a cold ginger ale.
Tingly skies full of surprise oh how I love when with surmise,
the little rascal aims his dart as if it were, poetic art !
His countenance reeks of admiration, which speech can't disguise—
but much of this—his antics—I'd known quite well from the very start.
The cold air in the room is too tempting to chase away love,
yet I choose to be oblivious to what my heart is saying.
No soothsayer need tell me our feelings fit like hand in glove—
yet still I must conceal the tale my restless heart keeps portraying.
He thinks I’m playing hard to get—or fears he’s not quite good enough,
though approval glows on my face—the same he's on both knees for.
Perhaps he believes my "yes" won’t come so easy, or off the cuff—
but truth be told, I might… though not before he pleads a bit more.
My heart is too fragile for love to easily find its way in,
so the longer he talks, the more it begs him for a breakthrough.
My lips tremble when he kisses me, to seal what he calls a win—
When cupid's arrow aims for you, there isn't much that you can do !
In the depths of silence, on the cold floor of memories,
I wander through old thoughts, in the shadow of lost dependencies.
I return to the same illusions, to those forgotten pills,
One after another, the days slip by in a deep sleep.
I cannot get over the reasons that abruptly broke our connection,
I cannot understand how our destinies intertwined this way.
For on every chosen path, we meet again, inevitably,
Regardless of our attempts to part ways.
I've heard you're no longer yourself, that you've succumbed to silence,
You spend your time in solitude, far from the nights out with the girls.
Without makeup, a storm of thoughts, with no reason to dress up,
I, back to my dependencies, have nothing to fight for.
Our ending isn't right, for our souls are entwined.
Our ending isn't right, for I falter without you, day and night.
In this melancholic incantation, we search for lost meaning,
In the chaos of existence, where the invisible universe calls us.
On the thread of time, we seek light in the ancient darkness,
Embracing the mystery of life as an eternal dance of stars.
It’s February
the soft stones
are still hard
among the eaves
clinging to the river
Summer Joy Hiku
a sweet cold treat
melting softly in the mouth~
summer joy in hand.
e
r ~ ~ a
a s -w -e -e -t c o l d t ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ t
m ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ y in the m ~o ~ u ~t ~h~
e ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ l
l ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~t
t ~ ~ ~ ~ f
l ~ ~ ~o
n ~ s
g
s ~u ~m ~m ~e ~r j -o -Y in h ~ a ~n ~d.
The bold horizon burned and died
cold in my eyes as I turned aside
on the road to nowhere
taking it slow
making it easy
in no hurry to go
I'm taking my time
for I never felt the need
to heed the latest mad fad
or follow the current day's craze
yet I don't fret or sweat
the small stuff
but I did learn
soon enough
the tide will turn
and the seventh wave
tho' said and done
is not always
the largest one
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