Hard work…boss a jerk,
took credit…for your work.
best friend…blew you off,
still has…your favorite top,
Traffic…had you late
for your…diner date,
the stress…has you mean,
get to…blow of steam.
Girl put on your best,
I’m coming to get you,
better than the rest,
Friday night, I‘d never forget you.
Friends with…benefits,
but we’re…more than this,
I hate…when you’re down,
a break…you’re allowed.
We’ll dance…to the dawn,
forget…the weekend long,
show you…I can stay,
and love…you this way.
Girl put on your best,
I’m coming to get you,
better than the rest,
Friday night, I‘d never forget you.
Said you couldn’t see yourself
with a guy like me,
but you keep on coming back
when life gets trying.
I am not the doctor type, we fly,
can’t make you a rich wife,
but we both now I’m the one
who lets you enjoy life.
First drink…glowing eyes,
on the…floor we fly,
it works…like a charm,
you’ll sleep…in my arms.
Girl put on your best,
I’m coming to get you,
better than the rest,
Friday night, I‘d never forget you.
Her apathetic attitude toward work
Caused many a boss a bit of irk
Fervent night lifer, listless all day
Many dead end jobs with little pay
At her desk she was listless and dull
Showed less energy than yesterday’s skull
Flash-mobbing and clubbing were her things
After midnight, her energy zings
A toddler in a stroller passed
And, looking at her face,
It seemed to me that she was
Merely staring into space.
Which made me wonder – could it be
She’d nothing on her mind?
If not, and I could read her thoughts,
What musings would I find?
I wish I had a lollipop.
I need some better toys.
My pre-school class has way too many
Mean and nasty boys.
My lunch today was yucky.
Why does Mommy have to work?
And why did Daddy come home mad
And call his boss a jerk?
I know, I might be way off base.
Perhaps within that stare
Were thoughts of all the happy things
She couldn’t wait to share.
Long years back writing just was a job,
To my boss— a bugbear, my pet lob,
It then turned to hobby—
To numb noise my Dolby,
My life’s passion by now consigned FOB
Of an unpaid cabby,
A do-not-so hubby,
A horse in harness, show-off doorknob.
_________________________________
FOB: Free on board as in shipments
Reflections |02.05.2023| humour
GET’ER DONE
I don’t like a bragging bigot,
Tall in stature, but in class, a midget
A man of faith, a fool to some
But at least a man who’ll get’er done.
I don’t like a man, who’s mouth is runny,
You’ll be outraged or think it’s funny.
A brilliant boss, a beast to some,
At least a man who’ll get’er done.
Don’t like a bull in a China shop,
Cut to the chase, fail or flop.
Not a fan of most everyone,
But at least a Hulk who’ll get’er done.
Would we rather one tailor fit,
political liar, bumbling twit...
A wrecking ball that ain’t bout Schmidt?
Excuse my colorful candid wit.
Give me a proven man
whose paid the cost,
have built an empire being the boss,
Went far out into the deep,
to save his country rocked to sleep
Some’ll beg to differ, but here’s the sum.
We needed a patriot who would get’er done!
arrive in morning
descending gloom
inboxes full
deadlines loom
insufficient wage
big workload
crazy colleagues
boss a rogue
lunchroom a mess
carpet stains
no tea bags
milk's off again
hide mistakes
phone a mate
take early lunch
come back late
scroll the net
sneaky snacks
(the kind designed
for heart attacks)
delete master files
shift the blame
finger pointing
hide in shame
illicit affairs
rumour mills
pointless meetings
fire drills
no confession
to copier jam
sometime next week
get serviceman
watch the clock
wander about
hunt for pens
eat birthday shout
go slowly mad....
but don't despair
holidays are due-
you're out of here!
big boss
like boss baby
revolver ocelot
liquid snake
solid snake
i cry
memes are the DNA of the soul
i agree
battle
fighting
photosynthesis
snake
big boss
Their matching of pajamas ho hum not.
The Mr. and Mrs. are ho ho hot.
He bares his air rump.
She shares all her lumps.
A fa la la screw before elf’s snapshot.
A snap of his finger and laugh would cost
his job or his boss a one time exhaust -
turn red as he’d yell
not ringing the bell...
Embarrassed, the Mrs. was apt to frost.
A wring of his ear and a kick in snow.
The pole up his gazoo and elf would go
to work in the dark
no walk in the park...
with smile he’d remember the Mrs. glow.
12/4/2020
Christmas Limerick
Sponsor: Alexis Y.
frost - anger
The eyes are wet, the boss is curry,
Today is tis, tomorrow is tat
O' pay in tis, I buy in tat
The eyes are wet, the boss is curry
Forty million needs, the boss with meat,
Tunameza mate in need, ooh! This is heat
The eyes are wet, the boss is curry
What shall I do, the boss a quiz
Nifanye nini sasa, the boss quests.
The eyes are wet, the boss is curry,
Wooi! Wooi! Wooi! Where we go
Bye! Bye! Bye! Since long ago
The eyes are wet, the boss is curry
Guru up loot, tinga high on foot
Uto up a hoot, tis tat not gut
The eyes are wet, the boss is curry,
Wooi! Wooi! Wooi, where is Marehemu?
Wooi! Wooi! Wooi! Life shot in May
The eyes are wet, the boss is curry
Bondeuro is missing, Integrity too a miss
Nifanye nini sasa? No voice but hiss
The eyes are wet, the boss is curry,
Wooi! Wooi! Wooi! North Eastern massacre
Wooi! Wooi! Wooi! , One forty-seven is gone
Every day my mind goes for a wander,
To see a new wonder,
A new perspective to consider,
New challenges to ponder.
Every day my mind goes on ahead,
To check out the roads I will soon tread,
So I can face them without dread,
With only joy in my heart and my head.
Every day my mind finds a side road,
Or even takes me off road,
Where there is space to re-arrange my load,
Before I explode.
Every day when my mind starts to fade from work overload,
It is back on the road,
With some work on hold before I call my boss a toad,
And I have fewer meals to behold.
Every day my mind goes for a wander,
With no GPS to confuse or hinder
My getting home for dinner,
With my appetite a winner.
A sleepy bodyguard searched, chose and set
Best seat for the honorable guest
Carefully observing, he saw dirt
Decidedly he removed the chair
Express like a jet, the guest landed on floor
Funny again; he looked in the bag and
Gave the boss a prepared speech to present
Honorable in delight began to read
In the mid-way he noted;
Joke-less, a poem penned by a pupil for a test
Kept as secret it could not
Laughter and booing rocked the room
Majority demanded for dismissal of the bodyguard
Next day- an irony! He was promoted to high rank
Of General and appointed national security chief
The pain that young man felt was very close
to what hell would be like. Richard watched
and heard this poor soul scream and beg for
his life over and over again. Richard
did not have a conscience. The beatings that
he took from both his parents created this
monster. He was immune to someone else's
horrific pains, It didn't bother him. When he
was a child he would tie two cats together by
their tails and throw them over a clothesline,
and watch them claw each other to death.
The film was completed. The poor man was
eaten to where most his bones were exposed
and his flesh was gone. He then delivered the
the film to his boss, a well known mobster.
9/18/2015 PLEASE READ IAN GUYLER'S
RATMAN COMETH..................................
You can actually see this horrendous video
by going to You Tube and going to Serial
Killer Hitman Richard Kuklinski The
Iceman Documentary. This is not for the
fainthearted. WARNING VERY GRAPHIC
MATERIAL for those of you that want to
view this. Also he was also known as the
Iceman. A book The Iceman written by
Anthony Bruno is his life story. It will
turn your world upside down. Incredible
reading.
There was nothing to lose
So I could go on a spending spree,
Get parting presents for everyone I knew,
Blow a fortune at a casino,
Give my boss a piece of my mind.
I had just sixty precious minutes left
And realised all I really wanted
Was to spend time with my wife.
Telling her I’d love her forever more,
Holding her close, I shut my eyes
And waited for the end.
The Excelling Value of Algebra
By Elton Camp
Of everything that I’ve studied on earth,
Algebra proved to have the most worth.
From it don’t be led astray.
Later, you use it every day.
Whether you become a farmer or actor,
Many times expressions you will factor.
And quadratic equations are such a delight.
You will come to use them day and night.
It’s just wonderful to be able
To use a logarithmic table.
To succeed in life you have no hope
Unless you’re able to determine slope.
Multiplying binomials is a useful skill.
On a resume, it gives the boss a thrill.
Knowing how perfect square trinomials to solve
Can very easily be the key to getting a better job.
For inequalities to know all about
Has much practical value, no doubt.
Exponents everybody surely does need.
And to solve them with greatest speed.
Strive to learn the values of X and Y.
If you can’t, you might as well die.
Algebra is just essential to learn
If a decent living you hope to earn.
Christmas- to me kind of scary- I mean who wants a guy named Santa Claws
breaking into their house in the middle of the night??
And some of these bizarre new T.V. shows??- what kind of low-life would want
to "Pimp My Bride"???
And the stickers that say "Support Our Troops"?- Of course we do. It's the
politicians who bring death to our brave youth.
My last boss, a Jewish fellow, once said to me, and he believed this; "Everyone
Knows That Money Is God!!!" How pathetic, I guess I'm an atheist, cause I sure
aint got none.
I spend a lot of time in hospitals (sort'a terminally ill..) They always ask me if I
am allergic to anything, and I always say; "Yeah, mushrooms and morons..."
And these fools put a red warning bracelet. on me to that effect. I also always
sign in as "Randall P. MacMurphy" (see One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest)-
you'd be surprised how perplexed they get- such name is not on their list!! I love
it!!
I wrote a new soul song; "I Heard It Thru the Grapejuice"!!
well, enough for now.......tom
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