Poetry Forum Areas

Introduce Yourself

New to PoetrySoup? Introduce yourself here. Tell us something about yourself.

Looking for a Poem

Can't find a poem you've read before? Looking for a poem for a special person or an occasion? Ask other member for help.

Writing Poetry

Ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas how to write better.

High Critique

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

How do I...?

Ask PoetrySoup Members how to do something or find something on PoetrySoup.

Kudos For Catie - Charles Henderson's Blog

About Charles Henderson
(Show Details...)
Bloggers Photo


Never would I have thought I would start writing at 73 years of age. I have thoroughly enjoyed my voyage into the written spirituality of poetry and am thankful for the opportunity.  In my seven years here I have met many new and wonderful persons. Having them accept me as a friend has been a moving experience.


Kudos For Catie

Blog Posted:11/7/2012 3:29:00 PM
The following poems/haiku'>haiku was written by Catie. Look at it carefully and learn what a real haiku looks like, feels like and tastes like. A work like this can not be by accident.

where no light plays
nor reflects upon my waters --
my heart is eclipsed

First of all she has immersed herself into the poem, so it is very subjective and modern sounding. It is also very abstract in the way it is presented and deals in concepts. It tells of her emotion when she is left out of the loop, so to speak, with no one wanting her opinions or good advice. It makes her feel unfulfilled as a person, and as a "want to be" friend.

"where no light plays" is a tremendous metaphor for - - - ignorance of circumstance, lack of sophistication, one way conversation, a place where there are no answers, aloneness, feeling of lonliness, little or no education, and depending on where your idividual interests lie, there are probably a couple more that each of you could name.

"nor reflects upon my waters" is a simple reaffirmation of the foregone conclusions above, with the added stipulation that : even if some of those things have been presented to her, for one reason or another, she has come up short.

"my heart is eclipsed"- - - - I am devastated, my goodness has been cut short, not accepted, belittled, muddied, tainted, I no longer feel a whole person as when circumstance was different.

Let your mind wander: take wings and stimulate your immagination. What else could this tremendous poem be saying. After all there are THREE WHOLE LINES OF INFORMATION, the longest being every bit of 
7 syllables. And she makes it look so easy. How does this poem speak of you personally?

I salute you madam poet.

Please Login to post a comment
Date: 11/8/2012 2:01:00 PM
Su, not to dispute anything you have added as it is all worthy content. The original rendition has "upon my waters" making it subjective by injecting her presence into the piece.
Login to Reply
Richards Avatar
Suzette Richards
Date: 11/9/2012 12:24:00 AM
I see it now :-)
Date: 11/8/2012 7:53:00 AM
Login to Reply
Date: 11/8/2012 12:25:00 AM
(5) Additionally, the haiku traditionally employ "the technique of cutting"--i.e., a division in thought between the earlier and later portions of the poem. These two divisions must be able to stand independently from each other, but each one must also enrich the reader's understanding of the other section. In English translation, this division is often (but not always) indicated through punctuation marks such as a dash, colon, semicolon, or ellipsis. (6) Haiku poets often present the material under pseudonyms rather than using their true names. [I hope that you have found these notes and comments useful. If you are considering submitting your poetry for publication, it would be advisable to first check out the rules of that publisher. ~ Su]
Login to Reply
Date: 11/8/2012 12:24:00 AM
(4) It is striking a feature of the haiku that direct discussion of the poem's implications or "deeper meanings" is forbidden in the body of the poem. Likewise, symbolism or puns are discouraged in a manner alien to Western poetry. The poet describes her subject in an unusual manner without making explicit commentary or explicit moral judgment. The genre often relies upon allusions to earlier haiku or implies a comparison between the natural setting and something else. Simplicity is more valued than "cleverness." If the poet is being clever, using puns or symbols, or being too philosophical, the poem again is technically a senryu rather than a haiku.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/8/2012 12:21:00 AM
(3) The haiku is always set during a particular season or month as indicated by a kigo, or traditional season-word. This brief (and often subtle) reference to a season or an object or activity associated with that time of year establishes the predominant mood of the poem. These words place the haiku within a specific month or season, establishing an atmosphere for the poem while maintaining brevity. Japanese books of poetry are usually divided according to season, with the five Japanese seasons being Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and New Year's added as the fifth season to Europe's traditional four.
Login to Reply
Richards Avatar
Suzette Richards
Date: 11/8/2012 12:23:00 AM
The kigo can be an actual reference to the name of the season or a month, or it can be a traditional connotative word: cicadas, fireflies, flies, frogs, and mosquitoes are common kigo for summer haiku, for instance. Likewise, billowing clouds, summer storms, burning sunshine, fans, midday naps, parasols, and planters' songs are other kigo for summer. ETC
Date: 11/8/2012 12:18:00 AM
(2) The traditional subject matter of a haiku is a Zen description of natural phenomena, wildlife, common everyday occurrences, or particular locations. Insects and seasonal activities are particularly popular topics. If the subject matter is something besides a scene from nature, the poem is technically a senryu rather than a haiku. The point was that the imagery presents a "Zen snapshot" of the universe, setting aside logic and thought for a flash of intuitive insight. The haiku seeks to capture the qualities of experiencing the natural world uncluttered by "ideas." The haiku moment:--that split second when we first experience something but before we begin to think about it.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/8/2012 12:16:00 AM
Haiku follow several conventions: (1) The traditional Japanese haiku consists of three lines. The first line contains five syllables, the second line contains seven, and the last line five. In Japanese, the language further restricts the syllables in that each syllable must have no more than three sound units (sound-components formed of a consonant, a vowel, and another consonant). The three-unit rule is usually ignored in English haiku, since English syllables vary in size much more than in Japanese. Furthermore, in English translation, this 5/7/5 syllable count is occasionally modified to three lines containing 6/7/6 syllables respectively, since English is not as "compact" as Japanese.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/7/2012 11:58:00 PM
Within English-language haiku (ELH) the debate is becoming increasingly polarised with both editors and writers advocating either this style of writing or that. It is my belief that while we owe a massive debt to Japan, ELH should and must now grow into full maturity and no longer look over its shoulder. We could all continue to write pretty images about cherry trees or we could reach deeper into our own experience and produce works which are both authentic and relevant for a wider reading public and our literary peers.
Login to Reply
Richards Avatar
Suzette Richards
Date: 11/8/2012 12:00:00 AM
An extract from the editor at http://notesfromthegean.com/. This is something which I welcome.
Richards Avatar
Suzette Richards
Date: 11/7/2012 11:58:00 PM
I believe that if we do not do this then we are all in danger of settling for a comfort zone in ELH and will not develop into the fullness of what we can be as writers. Without being directive I will be advocating the advancement of the three Es of our mission.
Date: 11/7/2012 11:08:00 PM
I love this poem! It has an element of sharing a moment which we may all identify with. Just one question: The use of the personal noun in the haiku throws me somewhat. Punctuation (I feel) is redundant, when the use of the language is clearly defining the phase and the phrase. Suggestion: where no light plays/ nor reflects upon the waters/ a heart is eclipsed..... The use of "the" and "a" speaking directly to the reader, including him in the moment. It is to my mind unnecessary to use personal nouns in haiku (and not encouraged - what I have been led to understand), because it is by definition the poet's observation which he is sharing with you. The final phrase underscores the feeling of a loss felt
Login to Reply
Henderson Avatar
Charles Henderson
Date: 11/8/2012 2:07:00 PM
the difference is in what he shares outside of himselp vs. what he shares of himself, that determine whether the poem is objective or subjective. In the latter case, personal pronouns are helpful, if not imperative.
Richards Avatar
Suzette Richards
Date: 11/7/2012 11:48:00 PM
Haiku is a worldwide phenomena. Here is a link which you might find useful: http://notesfromthegean.com/
Richards Avatar
Suzette Richards
Date: 11/7/2012 11:30:00 PM
Here our students at school level and higher are taught (we have a large eastern population) to write haiku and related styles, in order to train them to write concise observations and the value of argument. Ie A point made is usually more apparent when the "jux" is present. So, i s o using similie, the "jux" is used to great effect.
Richards Avatar
Suzette Richards
Date: 11/7/2012 11:14:00 PM
Haiku is usually positive in conclusion and, therefore, the somber tone of this poem and the melancholy expressed (a personal expose) would perhaps make me lean more towards it being senryu.
Date: 11/7/2012 6:50:00 PM
*cont'd* -- I am unlearning my haiku habits, and for the sake of arguement, starting from scratch again. And in doing so, I am leaning towards a smoother transition into the juxtaposition, as exemplified by Catie's haiku above. I won't even be using a (--, etc) to indicate the kereji....I might use a comma here and there. The full-bodied, aromatic flow of a more subtle juxtaposition lends to a much more poetic haiku. Haiku is poetry, right? When one ends-up with a mechanical formula, which includes the *pow* in-your-face turn, devoid of poetic essence, of all possible emotion, of the very existentialist nature of haiku, one is left with un-poetic, mechanical haiku that is about as interesting to read as dare I use the cliche....watching paint dry.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/7/2012 6:27:00 PM
Catie's haiku is a great example of several things, including the difference between subjectively poetic haiku, when compared to dry, boring, overly-redundant objective haiku that reads like a line from a nature trail sign written by an epileptic. But aside from the deep metaphor and imagery, the thing which stands out the most, is how smoothly the haiku reads, yet it still lends to a more subtle, graceful 'cut'. The juxtaposition happens within a smooth flow -- the reader can still make a slight pause, yet read the haiku in one breath. The cut/juxtaposition isn't a blatant slap in the face....a *bam!* followed by a violent turn veering-off into juxtaposition la-la-land.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/7/2012 6:19:00 PM
*cont'd* -- Without putting words into your mouth, I believe that you are in agreement how there are many different styles of haiku. You aren't telling people exactly how to write their haiku....no, moreso, you are simply stating that no matter how much one experiments and evolves, there need to be a certain amount of skeletal bones in the flesh of the lines, for the end result to have a haiku-body. Without any discipline, the form becomes spineless; formless. I even remember when you highlighted 'Sci-fi-ku'. That was very cool.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/7/2012 6:14:00 PM
Chas, your other blog has had me inadvertently writing haiku all day long(albeit first in my head while multi-tasking things I am supposed to be performing). This is probably the first time in 5 months that I have written haiku. I find that people have you pegged wrongly as a 'traditional' haiku writer. Traditional haiku was for the most part written in Japanese, pre-1940s. As you are aware of, Japanese, writing in Japanese(even including kigo, etc), are not even writing traditional haiku lol. There might be a Shinto monk in Hokkaido who is still writing purely traditional haiku. 99% of other people claiming to be writing traditional haiku are full of themselves in so many ways. Wot they might be doing, is attempting to mimic it. But mimicry is so blase.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/7/2012 5:56:00 PM
I wouls also like to add my plea for a regular column.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/7/2012 5:51:00 PM
I could interpret this also a little more literally: when the moon is in eclipse, there is no light, and there is no reflection,hence her heart is the moon (which is often the seat of love as is the heart) This could mean she is broken hearted, waiting for the eclipse to end, and find new light, new love.
Login to Reply
Date: 11/7/2012 4:39:00 PM
CHARLES!!! Awesome, awesome blog! Catie's haiku is touching and profound. I only have a minute. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THIS TYPE OF BLOG FROM YOU, WEEKLY! My idea: you could even contact poets (as you did with Catie) and ask if you could pick them as the haiku of the day!!! Then REPOST the haiku as SOUP HAIKU FOR THE DAY. You could highlight why the haiku works, the haiku elements it captures. I'm serious, here. This is excellent in every way possible. A 'positive' approach is a powerful teaching tool. Yup. I'm likin' the honey! MORE MORE. Hugs, grins, winks and 6 stars, Cyndi
Login to Reply
Richards Avatar
Suzette Richards
Date: 11/7/2012 10:52:00 PM
I love this suggestion by you, Cyndi. It makes perfect sense to highlight what works and set an example which to strive for and a forum where we may question. The rule "Only say things nice" on a poem posted is limiting. (On another site, people openly tell you that your work sucks - without giving any reason or help to improve. It is liberating but unhelpful). X
Edwards Avatar
Tracie Edwards
Date: 11/7/2012 5:30:00 PM
Good idea Cyndi.. xxx
Date: 11/7/2012 4:38:00 PM
Yay Go Catie.. Go Catie.. xxx This is exactly why I keep my Ku to myself :D
Login to Reply
Date: 11/7/2012 4:26:00 PM
hey Catie, I'll bow to Chas's superior knowledge on this one, I did tell you what I thought already but I write traditional [like] haiku not more modern ones where some subjectivity is allowed, my only question would be do you think you can consistantly write a traditional one now?
Login to Reply

My Past Blog Posts

How to make copyright and other symbols on the computer.
Date Posted: 2/20/2017 1:31:00 AM
Why Read Poetry Soup Poems
Date Posted: 12/6/2016 10:22:00 PM
True Beauty
Date Posted: 1/19/2016 6:48:00 PM
Objective and Subjective Haiku
Date Posted: 1/13/2016 3:15:00 PM
new kiddie trick
Date Posted: 1/8/2016 4:53:00 AM
A Neat Card Trick
Date Posted: 12/22/2015 8:33:00 PM
Charles' Answer to the Riddle blog
Date Posted: 12/22/2015 4:18:00 PM
A Riddle
Date Posted: 12/22/2015 9:51:00 AM
Date Posted: 12/21/2015 9:08:00 PM
Expanding Deb's Blog
Date Posted: 5/19/2014 11:44:00 PM
Possum Branch Road
Date Posted: 3/31/2014 11:22:00 PM
Calling All, Want To Be, Haiku Writers
Date Posted: 2/20/2014 3:46:00 PM
My Bear Story Retold
Date Posted: 2/5/2014 2:35:00 PM
Poetry Soup Imbeded Ads
Date Posted: 11/4/2013 7:31:00 PM
The Elusive Monoku
Date Posted: 7/27/2013 11:20:00 PM
Computer Games
Date Posted: 7/12/2013 9:08:00 AM
Contest Winners and Bear String
Date Posted: 5/3/2013 11:47:00 PM
My Contest
Date Posted: 5/2/2013 2:01:00 PM
The Bear III
Date Posted: 4/1/2013 5:23:00 PM
Another Bear Story
Date Posted: 3/31/2013 10:23:00 PM
The no contest Contest
Date Posted: 3/30/2013 2:51:00 AM
Hanging Ten
Date Posted: 3/22/2013 10:59:00 AM
Feedback Wanted
Date Posted: 1/27/2013 1:06:00 PM
Wise Guys
Date Posted: 1/22/2013 9:28:00 AM
Mathematics of Success
Date Posted: 1/21/2013 7:36:00 PM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
10/11/2017 Young of Mind and Heart Rhymeallegory,analogy,
8/27/2017 yesterday's pollen Haikunature,
7/7/2017 A Vow Rhymelove,
6/17/2017 my day Haikuanxiety,
6/15/2017 a secret Haikuallegory,betrayal,conflic
6/15/2017 deception Haikubetrayal,
6/9/2017 The Deep Proseadventure,inspiration,mys
6/4/2017 metamorphosis Haikubeauty,nature,
5/9/2017 wild dreams Tankadream,
3/6/2017 Massacre of Glencoe Narrativebereavement,
2/26/2017 The Culmination Free versemuse,
2/25/2017 Legacy Tankaallegory,
2/21/2017 Tribute to my Wife Dramatic monologuedevotion,love,
2/10/2017 In My Mind Rhymeallegory,character,emotio
2/4/2017 snails Haikunature,
2/2/2017 A Sunday Drive Proselife,
2/2/2017 reheating Haikulife,
2/1/2017 moments Haikulife,
1/23/2017 about snails Haikunature,
1/23/2017 All I need- - -Is A Little Sunshine Free versechange,character,confiden
1/15/2017 faith Haikuinspirational,
1/11/2017 The Angel's Tribute Rhymetribute,
1/9/2017 tall pines Haikunature,
1/9/2017 lady bugs Haikunature,
1/8/2017 deluge Haikunature,
12/24/2016 Reflection Rhymeallegory,
12/8/2016 The Campout Free verseimagination,
12/7/2016 the final chapter Tankaangst,
12/4/2016 Aurora Borealis Free versebeauty,dedication,univers
11/22/2016 Futility Free verseallegory,
11/12/2016 loneliness Haikuanxiety,
11/6/2016 The Keys to the kingdom Rhymefaith,
10/30/2016 aloneness Haikuappreciation,
10/30/2016 mt fuji Haikuphilosophy,
9/7/2016 To My New Grands and Great Grands, et al Free verselove,
9/3/2016 The Blurb Proseangst,
9/2/2016 Izzy Baby Prosebest friend,dedication,
8/28/2016 Zodiak Rhymeallegory,
8/28/2016 mood indigo II Free versefeelings,muse,sensual,
8/24/2016 The Celts Free verselove,
8/23/2016 blank eyes Haikupeople,
8/23/2016 standing tall Haikusimile,
8/23/2016 bent limbs Haikubody,nature,sorrow,
8/8/2016 keeping time Haikunature,
8/8/2016 a new dawn Haikunature,
8/8/2016 Education Haikuemotions,
8/8/2016 Equalizing Haikuappreciation,
8/8/2016 freedom is Haikunature,
8/8/2016 majestic Haikubeauty,
8/8/2016 The Girls From Worchester Rhymeenvironment,humor,
8/8/2016 evening mist Haikunature,
8/8/2016 quiet Haikunature,
8/6/2016 day passes Haikupeople,
8/5/2016 morning dew Tankasenses,
8/5/2016 whispers Haikuchild,
7/21/2016 Spring Rains Tankalife,
6/16/2016 Possum Branch Road Narrativehumorous,
5/21/2016 her reply Haikujudgement,stress,
4/26/2016 Temptress Free verseallegory,
3/30/2016 the old man Haikulife,
3/30/2016 aspiration Haikulife,
3/29/2016 strong grip Haikunature,
3/24/2016 tiny fingers Tankafamily,father,father son,
3/24/2016 My Child Tankamemory,
3/21/2016 on my broom Haikulife,spring,
3/17/2016 in the bath Haikunature,
3/11/2016 a mother's breast Haikumother,
2/19/2016 Into the new wave Free verselove,
2/10/2016 wild grapes Haikunature,
1/31/2016 Karma Proselife,
1/31/2016 A Day In the Life Of An Old Man Free verselonely,old,people,
1/27/2016 The Crossing Free versedestiny,old,
1/26/2016 the grave Tankadeath,
1/24/2016 the Shag Rhymeart,beach,bio,birth,dance
1/23/2016 life's changes Senryulife,
1/21/2016 the first time Haikubeauty,
1/19/2016 Indian Summer Prose Poetrynature,
1/17/2016 Old Jake the Critter Lover-A Parody Proseparody,
1/17/2016 Old Jake Sonnetintrospection,
1/15/2016 more and more Haikupeople,
1/13/2016 limping badly Haikuage,
1/13/2016 old towns Tankaold,
1/10/2016 dandelion Haikunature,
1/10/2016 war memories Haikumemory,
1/7/2016 James 4:14 Haikubible,
1/7/2016 Fever Sonnetangel,
1/4/2016 scattered rock Tankanature,
1/4/2016 peak a boo moon Haikunature,
1/4/2016 deep night Haikupeople,
1/1/2016 'grand' view Haikunature,
1/1/2016 soda pop Haikuchildren,
12/31/2015 the gingko Haikuremember,
12/29/2015 memory Haikumemory,
12/25/2015 Purity Tankafriendship,
12/22/2015 Osmotic Universe Free versephilosophy,universe,
12/18/2015 mist Haikuremember,
12/18/2015 the cottage Haikupeople,
12/4/2015 The Lie and True Love Sonnetpeople,
11/30/2015 Postface Interlude Prosefeelings,
11/23/2015 Love Need Not Be Tested Prosemarriage,

My Photos



Fav Poems

Hard Times Cowboycowboy-western,family,fun
Petal Verselove,
Violin Personificationdeath,love,rose,
The Sowing Free versedevotion,
Disposable Wisdom Rhymeage,cat,life,wisdom,world
Footprints Free verseintrospection,life,
Alabaster Night Free versenature,planet,sea,
Forgotten Heroes of the Somme Rhymebrother,death,history,lif
Mona Lisa Free verseartme,
Love Beyond the Pale Quatrainabuse,devotion,lost love,
Humanity Coupletlife,peoplechild,lost,chi
Frosted Panes - re-post Quatraingirl,life,me,sea,time,win
When Madness Rides on Moonlight Sestinagod,life,
-Unlatched- Rhymechildhood,family,mother,s
Missing Mother Versedepression,devotion,me,mi
her silent seams Free versewords,
Wet but Wiser Quatrainadventure,funny,pets,
Closer Free versehope,life,love,peace,blue
Love Passing By Rhymelove,love,pride,
- My Dreams - Versedream,faith,hope,love,
A Police Man's Grave Epitaphdeath,funny,
Long Goodbyes Sonnetfaith,happiness,holiday,n
Hear Oh L-rd Kyriellefaith,family,happiness,un
haiku 20 Haikuintrospection,nature,
Light A Candle Versefaith,history,
Spring Showers Free versenature,rain,rain,
SWITCH magazine Free versededication,hope,life,love

Fav Poets

Debbie Guzzi United States Flag United States Read
dakarai cobb United States Flag United States Read
Cyndi MacMillan Canada Flag Canada Read
Tracie Edwards Australia Flag Australia Read
Chris D. Aechtner Canada Flag Canada Read
SKAT A United States Flag United States Read
Leroy Max United States Flag United States Read
Carolyn Devonshire United States Flag United States Read
Charles Henderson United States Flag United States Read