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Cranturkey - Kelly Crenshaw's Blog

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Cranturkey

Blog Posted:4/13/2017 1:45:00 AM

Laying here yielding submission to my old friend insomnia.
And I can't help thinking about cranberries and turkeys and their market strategies. They've both infiltrated all their competitors. Yet never crossed the line with each other? I wonder why. Cranapple, crangrape. Turkey bologna. Turkey ham. Turkey bacon. Why can't these two just be themselves? It's sad really. Maybe Dr Phil could help. Maybe Tony Robbins? Then I wonder. Why no cran flavored lysterine? Or turkey flavored cherries?
Cranturkey. Yep. I just invented it. I'll call it; Low cholesterol non habit forming sugar free non dairy all natural pre shrunk factory tested low carb non gluten pre cooked free range non steroidal alcohol free low enzyme non gmo user friendly no added preservatives computer generated free trade French roasted I can't believe it's not butter self pollinating please consult a physician for turkeys lasting over four hours cranturkey.
Hmm great invention, but maybe I should shorten the name?



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Doug
Vinson
Date: 4/13/2017 7:35:00 PM
I think Dr. Oz should make it a three-way, trying to straighten out Tony Robbins and Dr. Phil. My best guess is that Tony beats the other two's butts (good riddance, especially to Dr. Oz), and so he wins the car. But when he starts it up, it explodes.
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Darren
White
Date: 4/13/2017 10:55:00 AM
This is a real insomnia blog, and I feel for you, and for the turkey, it's becoming a real cranky turkey! I hope that by the time I wrote this, you were finally able to sleep :) You take care now!
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My Past Blog Posts

 
The Parable of The Feral Cat
Date Posted: 10/30/2022 5:20:00 PM
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Date Posted: 6/9/2022 4:42:00 PM
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Date Posted: 4/19/2022 4:36:00 PM
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Date Posted: 8/15/2021 6:32:00 PM
Lead Role in a Cage
Date Posted: 9/28/2019 10:32:00 AM
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My shadow of grief.
Date Posted: 4/18/2018 12:14:00 AM
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Date Posted: 3/28/2018 11:31:00 AM
Cranturkey
Date Posted: 4/13/2017 1:45:00 AM
Late night ramblings from a wide awake insomniac
Date Posted: 9/28/2016 12:58:00 AM
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Date Posted: 3/1/2015 9:45:00 AM
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Date Posted: 1/27/2015 10:48:00 PM
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