Blood on the Bible - Charles Henderson's Blog

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Never would I have thought I would start writing at 73 years of age. I have thoroughly enjoyed my voyage into the written spirituality of poetry and am thankful for the opportunity.  In my seven years here I have met many new and wonderful persons. Having them accept me as a friend has been a moving experience.


Blood on the Bible

Blog Posted:11/10/2012 11:42:00 AM

The indecision builds
while staring into the velvet covered bible
and knowing that you have already
read more than was necessary.
Yet you stand and read on and on
hoping that one small word
will shine into the dark crevices
separating you from reality’s warm embrace.
Scoring your wrist you watch the small trickle of blood now pooling
where it lands inside a knitted loop of the bric a brac doily
on the roll top desk.
You wince slightly as you press the blade a little deeper,
and jump just enough for the holy book to fall
and slide down the silk backing on the Queen Ann's chair
to land open on the floor.
A spot of blood calls attention to the number 139.
Surely you hallucinate as the eerie blue iridescence
emanating from the still open bible seems
to warmly creep around your feet.
“Such strange warmth”, you think, as it permeates
your socks against the cold wooden floor.
“I haven’t lost that much blood”, you think
wondering why the sudden loss of breath
and the need to sit down.
The blackness forces you to the floor
and a single word catches your eye.
—the last word on the bible’s page.
“Everlasting is a long time you think” as your eyes
leave the single word at the bottom of the page.
Moving to the top again you see Psalm 139.
“I remember them you think. Psalms, --King David.”
Reading the book later, you will realize
the words on this day were different
“Dear one, I have searched you and I know you.
I know when you sit and when you rise,
I perceive your thoughts from afar
Before you speak a word I know what you are going to say.
-----such knowledge is too wonderful for you,
too lofty for you to understand.
Where can you hide from my spirit. Where can you flee from me?
If you go to the heavens, if you go to the depths, if you rise on the wings
of the dawn and settle on the far side of the sea,
even there my hand will guide you."
Pulling the pillow case from the bed behind.
you bind your wrist to stop the slight flow of blood.
Feeling the strength of passion spurring in divine presence
you continue this life event with a hunger never before felt.
“Oh God, please don’t let me die,” you pray.
“For you created my inmost being, you knit me in my mother’s womb.
----I am fearfully and wonderfully made and was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven you saw my
unformed body and my days were written in your book
before I ever came to be.”
Hanging your head and thanking God again and again,
you will realize later that the prayer you prayed was exactly
the same as the last part of King David’s prayer in Psalm !39.
You will marvel over that for all the many years
of your life remaining.
And afterwards all the seed of all your seed for 139 generations
will receive a framed story telling of the life event,
preserving your miracle of the bible in the hands of God.

© cghjr Nov.9.2012

It is against my nature to copy selective verse from the bible and
put it into a poem to make the poem coherent. However, I feel the
message in the part of psalm 139 which I am using is a powerful one
and is a voice I can spread without offending anyone. Non believers
just dismiss it as fiction and believers will say “beautiful”

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Date: 11/11/2012 7:51:00 PM
I believe in hell. But, surely most of the references must be metaphor. My idea of terrible punishment would be to be locked out away from Gods love for eternity with never any more chances of redeeming myself.
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Date: 11/11/2012 10:40:00 AM
I made a partially untrue comment to Debs, about suicides being an unpardonable sin. That is what I remember from my earlier days in the Baptist church, whether I was misguided then I do not know. But I just googled many churches and did not find any which hold to that doctrine now, not saying that there aren't some. One of the statements I just read was from Billy Graham and maybe six or eight other denominations which say that the act in itself carries no weight and that God knows the true value of a heart and the reasons one would give up the precious gift of life. He weighs all things in the balance. I know the Catholic church, Baptist and Anglican church commented on the subject. We are never too old to learn or to change our minds and I am pleased to be corrected on this.
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Cyndi MacMillan
Date: 11/11/2012 4:26:00 PM
I did not take your statement to Debbie as anything other than what you were taught. I was lucky, no BLESSED, enough to find a wonderful pastor who became a motherly friend and we'd spend long hours sitting and sipping tea. You know something? She's a reverend and admitted she doesn't believe in hell. Said the Jesus she knows wouldn't stand for it ;-) Miss her...
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Cyndi MacMillan
Date: 11/11/2012 4:23:00 PM
At nineteen, after my mother's suicide, two born again Christian's told me it was so sad that there was no hope for my mother, that she was burning in hell. Can you imagine that pain? I almost ended up in the hospital, my grief was so deep. Then, I just prayed. And God really does speak in the silence, that tiny voice. Peace came. I trust that God heals ALL illness. Hugs
Date: 11/11/2012 6:25:00 AM
So very beautiful Charles.. Thanks for putting it as a blog what with the time difference I miss some of the poems as they get pushed further down the 'new poems' page.. xxx
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Date: 11/10/2012 11:15:00 PM
Thanks Deb, I put your changes in and the poem is better. However I did not want to use all of it because I was trying to keep it all in the "now" happening.
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Date: 11/10/2012 7:25:00 PM
Ok Chas i will re-read and send to you email XXOO
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Date: 11/10/2012 7:22:00 PM
Your poem hit me as profound and deeply moving. My daughter used to cut herself and watch the blood drops. I love to read the psalms.
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Date: 11/10/2012 5:15:00 PM
Thanks so much Catie, It is really weird. I used to daydream so much before I started writing. But now, seems I think poetry every idle moment I have. I keep a pad and pen in pocket. Was in that little private room and had a single thought. Have looked but do not find now. Back at computer, put earphones on, turned up Neil Diamond. The poem was begging to come out as I could not type fast enough. It's like I knew, Catie is waiting. The only place I stopped typing was at the end. Well, except to drop back and correct mistakes. I have plenty of those.
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Date: 11/10/2012 2:44:00 PM
This was quite a read try and get it published. Good luck, Jancarl
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Date: 11/10/2012 2:44:00 PM
Chas I was not sure what ws happening? Then again it felt like the main character did not know either? Was this person attempting suicide?
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Charles Henderson
Date: 11/10/2012 4:30:00 PM
But then I wrote into the poem, I thought, enough of God's influence to make the reader feel that perhaps it was the hand of God that drew the blood, to spur this person to the point of begging for a way out. He/her has already "read on and on" trying to subconsciously or otherwise change his/her mind. Trying to "fill those dark crevices. Hope the exp. helps.
Henderson Avatar
Charles Henderson
Date: 11/10/2012 4:23:00 PM
This person is searching the bible to find strong enough reason not to do the deed. A very sharp blade such as a razor does not just slice the skin it will first grab it so that it actually moves sideways a little. I know because I have experimented with a sharp carving knife to see how it acts. I cut myself too. Even though I was not appying enough pressure to slice down.
Henderson Avatar
Charles Henderson
Date: 11/10/2012 4:18:00 PM
Yes, but this person didn't have the resolve to do it quickly. Those who believe in the bible not only think about the consequenses of self destruction in respect to the loss to family and friends and first justify that. They also feel they have to face the consequence of going to hell if they have been taught that as part of their religion.
Date: 11/10/2012 2:07:00 PM
I so enjoyed this write, Charles. It should get more reads. Will try to send you a soupmail right now (my girl is playing tickle-tag with her dad and I am often pulled into the fray, so no guarantees) Not a critique, just an experience to share... Cyndi
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Date: 11/10/2012 11:43:00 AM
This went through the poems page so fast I was not satisfied with the number of poets who read it. Psalm 139 being my most favorite of all passages I did so want more people to see the poem. So it is here. I hope you do not mind. Charles
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