We used to like Yoda
we used to like Gandalf
we used to like The Power Rangers
but now we just like Golf
remember days with Pog cards
they were flipping bad
mornings with your rock hard
and now we're going mad
Back when we were young
all was an unknown
soon we will be done
where did the time go
Puberty's a crisis
midlife is a crisis
wondering if Christ is
and if so why is ISIS
After good comes
a mental stain
flaccid wood flung
florescent stain
We used to dream and wonder
now we sleep and slumber
the old just seem to wonder,
life to six foot under
we used to like Gandalf
now we like Golf
we used to like Yoda
soon it's all over
in truth it be told
speak i do before i am
the sun sets eastren
Yoda was the rad dog
Rad enough to sing
Singing all the bad songs
Sad enough to sting
Cryin for the bad hounds
Howling in the wind
Vibing out for sad songs
Warbling as he spinned
Growling for the mad dog
Courser as he grinned
Blurten out the sad songs
Sweeter on the wind
While I wasn't looking, somebody stole my soda.
I quickly learned that it was Jedi Master Yoda.
I walked over to his table and we exchanged words.
I really got mad when that dwarf flipped me a bird.
I beat the hell out of him, whooping him wasn't hard at all.
He tried to use the force but he was no match for me because he's only two feet tall.
Because of our altercation, that Jedi wound up in a lot of pain.
I kicked his green ass and that's why he has to use his cane.
He lost bladder control, the floor was covered with pee.
Yoda learned that it's a very bad idea to steal from me.
Thought light I left on
But jus the Full Moon it was
Sleep now to I get.
Well, I want to talk like Yoda
Sophisticatedly
Twisting grammer, backwards round
Sounds like poetry
Do this, I know, can I
A man wise, think, I'll be
Speaking just like Yoda
With little difficulty
So, Rhyming you, trouble have
It's as easy as can be
Yoda Speaking, just like
Makes Rhyming easily
"May the force, with you be"
warned have you been,
You for danger coming,
It face do you?
Hide Nowhere to you have!
Yo, strength flows from lethal fists, these
Coz, am I not, the dark-sided Casanova?
Anger, fear, and pain to they
Who respect me not one iota.
Yet for my first fight, see I not,
The force of that USA flagged toga.
He, yes, knocked this goon about
Almost sending me into a coma.
Yo doc, called I, it hurts so bad,
But it not where it’s suppoda.
Yeah, me it is, don’t you know
Doc? Me, is it not, Yoda Balboa.
Yo Adrienne, doc said me,
To imbibe, yes, a gallon of soda.
And used force, did I on the poor doc,
So as not to pay what I owe’da.
The pain subside, did it, yes
After gulping gallons, three, of cola.
Never again do I ever fight
Until part II, of Yoda Balboa.
For To Yoda, an Ode contest
Make laughter out of bafflement
And meet the wind as dawn arises
Watch for signs when day declines
It tells a truth that will not lie
The sun will rise, the sun will set
It comes and goes with no regret
Some things will change our restless world
But be assured upon the dawn
Upon the dusk we can depend
Assurance comes with every sun
It comes again, and then is gone
What we have captured in our hand
We must release, and let it go
And when the swallow comes in spring
Homeward bound, precisely honed
You'll know again all things will come
Some will stay, and some must go
A perfect plan is on the wing
And when the geese appear in fall
To feel how certain is the call
Assurance comes with timeless voice
Southward bound without a doubt
Make laughter out of bafflement
Meet the wind, face the sky
Lift the doubt and lift the eye
The man looked at his twinkle
Shucks what's become of me
I used to rise and shine
Now all i do is pee
Yoda said, "Size doesn't matter
Saying take a look at me
I have the force behind me"
But still I am so twee
"Come close and feel the force
Around us, you and me".
"Everywhere the fire" Said I
Looking down hopefully
Guess it hasn't reached that far
Will stoke the burners well
"Do or do not, there is no try"
Are the words that Yoda tells
So next time when in the loo
Trying to raise a smile
Remembering what yoda has
I outdo him by a mile.
Hindsight, as a gift good it would be
Ours if only to have it we could
Misery, to stop it for you and me
People not to meet, good be that would.
Hearts broken, not they would be
Heartbreak, not happen it would
Love true, we would see
Hindsight, as a gift, be good it would
Corners to turn, not turn them we would
In hindsight, save us it would, we see
Troubles save us, many it would
Life with hindsight, good it should be
Challenges though, would few be
Need them we do to grow
In hindsight, them we cannot see
Learn we must from our woe.
Forgiveness, a reason for this there is
Mistakes many to ourselves we lay bare
In hindsight also trouble there is
Need it when we do, it’s never there.
© 13/03/2013 ~GG~
Contest entry
Walks on Dagobah weirdo
Himself, smiling sadly.
Yoda is hidden for a reason -
Can not find it now does
There comes a time - Luke Skywalker arrives
Yoda knows
That - on purpose.
There comes a time - the specter of Ben reports
That of Hoth
Spring begins.
Master Yoda hiding here for many years,
Padawans so it got.
Fly some, eats lunch -
Yoda roots anymore.
There comes a time - Luke Skywalker arrives,
Yodin soup again consume,
but not without reason
Yoda is dying of hunger,
But on Hoth begins spring.
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
Hello my green, little friend
don't mess with him or you'll have an end.
Alive over eight hundred years,
with his powers, he disappears.
Teaching is one of his strengths,
except for his lengths.
He may be a little bald,
as long as the rest aren't appalled.
Even if he's greenery,
he blends in with the scenery.
He can fight with a saber,
but with good behavior.
For as backwards he talks,
on tiny feet he walks.
This episode is at the end,
so the rebels will apprehend.
An ode-a to Yoda love I,
in language I’ll understand, try.
Completely, the words are awry
and no rhyme nor reason, comply
Could please, someone now clarify
and give me a lucid reply;
then tell me right now, why oh why
he can’t talk all proper – like I?
~
For Jim'S "BEST Yoda-speak" Competition.
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