Ted Poems - Poems about Ted

TED THE OLD POET

TED THE OLD POET*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with ink-stained hands, Ted conjures up verses
with verses soft, tears he sheds
of dreams past and paths he tread
compassion for himself spreads

*Note:poem originally written and submitted to Poetry Soup, June 25. I later deleted it. This is my original poem.

Tequila Ted Talk

Lit up like a Christmas tree 
Is papa after his festive drink
He’s a funny one
Can’t hold his tongue
Dances and he sings

Words that make no sense
Long winded when he’s bent
He gives a Ted Talk
About how to stand tall
And falls on his rear end

Despite his huge blue pride
He knew too drunk to drive
In his sloppy stupor
He calls

The Abuse Of Sylvia Plyth By Poet Husband Ted Hughes

In her frail hands, she held the flame,
A flicker bright, yet bound to fade—
Her words, like stars, her heart aflame,
Her soul, a scarred and shadowed glade.

Beneath the weight of unseen chains,
She sang her sorrow, soft and low,
While in his eyes were cold remains
Of love long buried in the snow.

He turned from her, a shadow cast,
A

Ted wants a Knapsack not a Backpack

Mommy, I do not want a backpack
I want a polka-dotted red knapsack
this annoyed Ted’s father, big Max
All kinds of conformity this child lacks

Knapsacks do not have zippers Ted said.
I don’t want a backpack, he yelled from his bed.
Little compartments are marvelous said Uncle Ed.
I will take a knapsack or nothing, screamed little Ted.

You have a

Sky Ted

Every teddy knows that every girl and and every boy
Needs to have a teddy who will be their pride and joy
A teddy bear companion in the life of him or her
Will be a snuggle buddy even when they’ve lost their fur

For when a bear is truly loved its fur will start to wear
A sure sign

Ted

Ted sure needs to use the porter loo
Ted really does need to do a poo
He banged on the door
Could not wait any more
Ted farted so hard the porta loo flew

Worshipful Master Ted Is Tense

worshipful master’s fez kept slipping off his head.
he was irritated and blamed the trumpet flower.
tittering faeries kept him irritated, this honored Ted.
Ted sat in their bouquet, annoyed by their power.

they had him all confused and curiously tense.
with their girly charms and their faerie ways.
he sat among their giggling in masculine suspense.
wondering what they had in

Why Ted Is Slimmer

Don’t you know why Ted is slimmer?
His eyes no more with hopes glimmer:
Had long swum in pools with shimmer,
As long in frustration swimmer;
Ted would not bear Todd’s New Tipper
Plus dreams of making ‘A Shipper!’…

But one’s knowledge of life deeper,
One no more, in spirit, Sleeper,
Entrance one blocks against Creeper
And proves Goodwill Lover Keeper…

Now, you know why

Ted the Tortoise

Ted the Tortoise told his wife he’ll nip around the block
She said if you nipped anywhere it would be quite a shock
He said I’ve got a skateboard with a power-pack on board
It’s not the latest model but the best I could afford

He sped out of his garden where his son had made a camp
He gave

He Does Not Want To Change

He does not want to change
And it is very strange:
Ted a few understand 
Like one does one’s left hand:
Ted who would queerly stand,
As though it is more grand
Than taking up Sofa
That makes rumps less suffer …

Ted with his own notion
Of an Ideal Nation:
“What she can do for you
Starting with Things to Chew!”

Ted won’t think of

To Ted and Debbie

A brother and sister should
always be friends,
One for the other, who
Cares and defends.

A brother and sister should
always be kind,
Love one another,
Lives intertwined.

A brother and sister should
always be there,
To love and to cherish, to
show that you care.

A brother and sister should
always be brave,
Together forever, cradle
to grave.

Count your blessings,
Love each other a ton,
Someday, too soon,
there will only

Ted

seeking warmth of blanket
and sun, Minnesota coated
with snow and ice. cockapoo
paws the window, stretches

near the door…raucous barks
at footfall on the front porch.
father of his master, a stranger
not yet accepted into the pack.

12/23/2021

She Fools Ted

She is introverted the extrovert said.
Not knowing at all; his first name was Ted.
Their weird observation filled me with dread.
I knew Ted did not see what was up ahead.

Please pay extra attention to her, I pled.
I have known her since my childhood homestead.
She’ll be a non-talker ‘til after you’re wed.
Could tell by his face I

Why Ted Doesn'T Love Lucy - Bawdy Warning

Ted suffers from 'Looseheel Ball'
It’s driving him clean up the wall
He’s got such an itch
It’s making him twitch
He’s begging the doctor to call

The medic said oh dearie me
This condition I rarely see
Your balls badly twisted
Teds scared eyes soon misted
When  doc says you need surgery

Doc bundles Ted onto the table
and borrows a knife from Aunt

Her First Date With Ted

I would give an arm and a leg to see him, she said.
She was going to meet a new guy by name of Ted.
Only time will tell if things will turn out okay.
I am weak as a kitten, I heard my friend say.

At the end of the date she had the time of her life.
She

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