Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Why Ted Doesn'T Love Lucy - Bawdy Warning

Why Ted Doesn'T Love Lucy - Bawdy Warning

Ted suffers from 'Looseheel Ball' It’s driving him clean up the wall He’s got such an itch It’s making him twitch He’s begging the doctor to call The medic said oh dearie me This condition I rarely see Your balls badly twisted Teds scared eyes soon misted When doc says you need surgery Doc bundles Ted onto the table and borrows a knife from Aunt Mable This won’t hurt a bit… He gives ball a snip Ted will rise again when he’s able 10/10/21

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Paul Schneiter

Date: 10/24/2021 4:01:00 PM

". . . will rise again . . .": too, too funny, Jan (though I felt a sharp pain while reading it). Some people are clever, but you are c l e v e r. Hugs and every good wish for you and your cherished ones. Paul

Delice Arleen Skelly

Date: 10/22/2021 9:48:00 AM

So funny...Delice

Linda Alice Fowler

Date: 10/21/2021 10:11:00 AM

LOL Your bawdiness is enjoyable Jan.

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 10/11/2021 7:08:00 PM

Hello Jan ... it's easy to see why Ted gets nervous when he faces the surgeon with his knife, and he prays to go for the right ball - thank you Jan - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 10/12/2021 1:23:00 PM

was a fun poem to write lol:-) :-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 10/11/2021 4:36:00 PM

Willing to be snipped …must of been a very bad itch! lol…ouch

Jan Allison
Date: 10/12/2021 1:22:00 PM

thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/11/2021 3:26:00 PM

haha. That was a fun read, Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/12/2021 1:22:00 PM

thanks Andrea:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 10/11/2021 1:29:00 PM

Lol! You are one funny lady. But I feel bad for poor Ted. I loved the song you chose as well. Great job:-) Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:37:00 PM

Thanks Alexis I don;t know where this stuff comes from i do worry about myself lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Joe Dimino

Date: 10/11/2021 11:08:00 AM

Ouch! Funny to me...but, certain, poor Ted does not see the humor I think:)

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:29:00 PM

thanks Joe, pure fiction... i hope!:-) hugs jan xx

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 10/11/2021 10:29:00 AM

:'Looseheel Ball'" This is HILARIOUS! The rest is frosting on this cake Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:28:00 PM

aww thanks Caren, so glad you appreciate my humour lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Gentile

Date: 10/11/2021 9:48:00 AM

I admire your mind Jan! I never want to experience that condition !!! Happy Monday!!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:28:00 PM

I worry about myself Mike lol:-) hugs jan xx Amazing what the name Lucille Ball conjured up lol:-) hugs jan xx

Michael Thompson

Date: 10/11/2021 5:59:00 AM

Poor poor Ted...lol

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:24:00 PM

Thanks Michael:-) hugs Jan xx

Harry Horsman

Date: 10/11/2021 1:17:00 AM

LIfe just gets better when your around. Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:24:00 PM

aww thanks Harry i just try and make folks smile if i can, got to say this is one of my better efforts recently lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 10/10/2021 11:48:00 PM

ok ok I laughed!!!! :)

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:23:00 PM

Does that give me brownie points lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 10/10/2021 7:34:00 PM

'Looseheel Ball?!' -- Ha, ha, ha, ha! I thought that only Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz) suffered from her -- I mean from 'that condition.' lol. Smiles, Gershon

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:23:00 PM

I originally wrote Lucille ball but i think the word play is better now lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Koplin

Date: 10/10/2021 7:29:00 PM

A twisted ball, poor Ted. I’ll cringing awhile from this one. Well done sister!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/11/2021 1:22:00 PM

lol Mark i do worry about my muse lol:-) hugs Jan xx

David Kavanagh

Date: 10/10/2021 12:17:00 PM

You can't keep a good man down Jan, I'm sure Ted will come again, no I mean rise again, brilliant intelligent humour at its best, cheers David

Jan Allison
Date: 10/10/2021 2:37:00 PM

thanks David I do worry about my muse lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 10/10/2021 12:09:00 PM

Ha! What a clever ending, Jan! Hilarious!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/10/2021 2:36:00 PM

I had such fun with this one, was only going to be the first verse then I couldnt stop lol:-) hugs jan xx

L Milton Hankins

Date: 10/10/2021 12:02:00 PM

oh my (chuckling) I could hardly get passed "looseheel ball!" Uh, good one, Jan, good one! He may not rise again for quite a while, period!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/10/2021 2:32:00 PM

I originally had lucille ball as the word but changed it, in fact it was just one verse but I decided to extend the scene lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood

Date: 10/10/2021 11:39:00 AM

Ha ha, fun Jan. Reminds me of an old joke….. ‘Kenny Rogers crashed his wagon when a wheel came adrift. He ran after it singing You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel’. ;-) Terry

Jan Allison
Date: 10/10/2021 2:31:00 PM

I remember that joke lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta

Date: 10/10/2021 11:37:00 AM

...but only from that table! Thanks for the laugh! Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 10/10/2021 2:31:00 PM

lol thanks Rico:-) hugs jan xx