Short Ted Poems
Short Ted Poems. Below are examples of the most popular short poems about Ted by PoetrySoup poets. Search short poems about Ted by length and keyword.
Ted Cruz
the implausible poseur distorting others' views
try a few of his own
see him preen for those selfies with gullibles half grown.
Epitaph to Ted
Here lies dear old Ted
Who always loved his bed
Now he gets to sleep forever
On that cloud like a feather
21-4-2019
There once was a man named Ted,
That wished to see the crocs fed.
They lined on the shore,
Appetites galore-
Too late to feed ducks, instead!
He was a born virtuoso
He played the piano with such passion
His gift a talent unpursued
Wordku: 5-7-5
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Ted sure needs to use the porter loo
Ted really does need to do a poo
He banged on the door
Could not wait any more
Ted farted so hard the porta loo flew
There once was an odd fellow named Ted
Broke both legs and was confined to bed
Walked on hands to go pee
A scary sight to see
When he shook it, it dropped on his head
There once was a playboy named Ted
Who'd taken many fine ladies to bed
But he charmed the wrong girl
And her boyfriend named Earl
Started beating him upside the head.
There was a mouse named Ted
In kitchen found a loaf of bread
But during a break
It made a mistake
got inside Oh, yumderful for Ted
6/3/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2021©
Ted Cruz on Fox News
Wondered what in the world if Ted Cruz,
Was found in a bar being on Fox News;
Dad Kennedy Shot,
And he got caught,
Joking around while drinking few brews.
Jim Horn
I was so young
You were gone
Met your family
Guess that makes it mine
Your father died
Your mother cried
So did your sisters
All three
Now far away
Begging for family
Started my own
Three boys
Beautiful wife
Just thought you should know
seeking warmth of blanket
and sun, Minnesota coated
with snow and ice. cockapoo
paws the window, stretches
near the door…raucous barks
at footfall on the front porch.
father of his master, a stranger
not yet accepted into the pack.
12/23/2021
So to look up girls’ skirts, Snowman Ted
turned himself upside down on his head.
But he ought to be told
since the weather is cold,
girls wear boots and long trousers instead!
Dec. 24, 2017 For Eve Roper's 'Upside Down World - Limericks Only' Poetry Contest
We have lost, yet, another imperfect friend.
A family man, whose lapse took decades to amend.
Whose congeniality in gentility will always abide,
whose search for universal equality in us still resides.
Let none who have not serve so reply.
Mourn, Edward Kennedy has died.
I’ve got a tiny teddy,
Basil is his name
He’s isn’t very famous,
He’s got no claim to fame
He hasn’t been around the world
Nor climbed the highest peak
He hasn’t got a proper voice
So he can never speak
But late at night when we’re in bed
He cuddles up real tight
And gives his beary growl, to say
That everything’s alright
Form:
TED THE OLD POET*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with ink-stained hands, Ted conjures up verses
with verses soft, tears he sheds
of dreams past and paths he tread
compassion for himself spreads
*Note:poem originally written and submitted to Poetry Soup, June 25. I later deleted it. This is my original poem.
I’ve got a tiny teddy bear
Basil is his name
He’s isn’t very famous,
He’s got no claim to fame
He hasn’t been around the world
Nor climbed the highest peak
He hasn’t got a proper voice
So he can never speak
But late at night when we’re in bed
He cuddles up real tight
And gives his beary growl, to say
That everything’s alright
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Is papa after his festive drink
He’s a funny one
Can’t hold his tongue
Dances and he sings
Words that make no sense
Long winded when he’s bent
He gives a Ted Talk
About how to stand tall
And falls on his rear end
Despite his huge blue pride
He knew too drunk to drive
In his sloppy stupor
He calls an Uber
Goes home to angry wife
He does not want to change
And it is very strange:
Ted a few understand
Like one does one’s left hand:
Ted who would queerly stand,
As though it is more grand
Than taking up Sofa
That makes rumps less suffer …
Ted with his own notion
Of an Ideal Nation:
“What she can do for you
Starting with Things to Chew!”
Ted won’t think of a change
With all things out of range.
All today I had the blues
Because I listened to the news,
Learning Iowans did choose
Not Trump or Rubio, but Cruz.
This candidate does not amuse.
His cockiness just seems to ooze
From all his pores and in reviews,
His own Grand Party can’t enthuse.
It seems he likes to put the screws
On fellow pols, who can’t excuse
The vitriol he likes to use
When his agenda he pursues.
In the end, I must effuse –
Oh, Mr. Cruz, I hope you lose!
A brother and sister should
always be friends,
One for the other, who
Cares and defends.
A brother and sister should
always be kind,
Love one another,
Lives intertwined.
A brother and sister should
always be there,
To love and to cherish, to
show that you care.
A brother and sister should
always be brave,
Together forever, cradle
to grave.
Count your blessings,
Love each other a ton,
Someday, too soon,
there will only be one.
Old man Cowell and boy Ted,
Hardcore and alcohol
unlocked doors in his head.
Midnight’s rage held a speculum,
every one of them became Brooks.
Two escapes and from
a sling, cast or uniform
one beetle shell thinned
apartment and dorm.
Swung and dumped on both coasts,
Dipped a hand in the green river,
and lost count of his ghosts.
Paid part of his debt on a Florida chair.
Rode the Lightning to eternity.
Consumed by what awaited him there.
Boys and Girls of Every Year
Listen close don’t live in fear
Underneath you can view
A monster stares and looks at you
Noises from and far below
Something grabbing for your toe
But have you just your teddy bear
Grab it put it under there
Brave and brown big and strong
Monsters won’t be there for long
Your Ted will fight and risk its life
To keep you safe and far from strife
So keep your teddy by your side
He’ll keep you safe, no need to hide
-Nadine Hof-
There once was a stripper named Tipper
who used tape instead of the snipper.
Duck tape was his friend
When he did a back bend
But his pec’s still popped his side zipper.
Once while topless he pranced cross the floor
On each nipple a tassle he wore
Round they did twirl
Just like the girls
Ole Ted Tipper was never a bore.
Cross the stage he would scoot
In his red "do me" boots
long locks on his head
of real pretty red
and he'd bring in a whole LOTTA loot!
You starred in a British sitcom called Father Ted.
It is extremely sad because now you are dead.
You were successful and things were going great.
But then a tragedy occurred when you died in 1998.
You were taken far too soon, you were only forty-five.
The world would be a better place if you had survived.
You excelled at acting and you were a teacher too.
You were an awesome Irish man and people loved you.
(DEDICATED TO DERMOT MORGAN WHO DIED FEBRUARY 28, 1998.)
Ted suffers from 'Looseheel Ball'
It’s driving him clean up the wall
He’s got such an itch
It’s making him twitch
He’s begging the doctor to call
The medic said oh dearie me
This condition I rarely see
Your balls badly twisted
Teds scared eyes soon misted
When doc says you need surgery
Doc bundles Ted onto the table
and borrows a knife from Aunt Mable
This won’t hurt a bit…
He gives ball a snip
Ted will rise again when he’s able
10/10/21