Short Newt Poems

witch
cauldron
eye of newt
her magic spell
sweet...

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A Georgia boy named Newt Gingrich
Has a presidential thing itch
But he suffers from insomnia
Because of Mitt Romney...

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boil foil royal trouble

put this man inside a bubble

tie him to a tree

splash with frog newt tea

stranger to these woods befuddle.
...

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spleen of newt tongue of blubba

foul things toads eat for suppa

a potion so fine

will strengthen a spine

swallow with bread and butta.
...

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Higgledy-piggledy
Newt Gingrich
So loved his country
He betrayed his wife.
Whilst berating Bill Clinton
Incontrovertibly.
His run for presidency
Now full of strife....

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Wicked hexing creatures
Wagging their evil tongues
while casting ancient spells
Wart faced old hags. Women
who recite sorcery,  
with newt eyes in cauldrons
Wretches grouped in covens...

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Oh, the vexing amphibian - 
from the Nile or Caribbean.
Is it a toad or a frog,
a tadpole or polliwog,
a newt or salamander,
crocodile, alligander?
Oh, the vexing amphibian - 
from the Nile or Caribbean....

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Antelope
Brown Bear
Cat
Dolphin
Elephant
Flamingo
Goose
Hippopotamus
Iguana
Jellyfish
King Snake
Leopard
Mink
Newt
Opossum
Puma
Quail
Rat
Snail
Tiger
Uakari
Viper
Whale
X-ray Fish
Yak
Zebra...

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A boastful contrary dinosaur effortlessly fails giving handshakes.
Ignoring juicy kindnesses loving marriageable newt offers possible
quick realistic solution, teaming united voices with xylophonic youthful zest....

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Eye of newt, wing of bat,
A dab or a dollop of dragon fat,
Stirred in a pot o'er a witch's flame,
A potion for love, or riches, or fame,
Or delousing a kid, a dog, or a cat,
Or dispatching a spouse, or suspending a spat....

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Hey Witchy
You want hair of the dog
Tongue of frog
Eye of newt
Or an old army boot

Hey Witchy
Toil and trouble
Boil and bubble
Throw all you got
In your black pot

Hey Witchy
What's your notion
In your potion
Can I see
Is it magic or just laundry...

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Stay away from a rough-skinned newt
Their poison skin is deadly, it will make you toot.
Better to linger near an angry bandicoot.
Or go to Sam’s house and watch him play his flute.
If the newt comes near you, run off and hide.
His poison skin is deadlier than cyanide....

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One night,  this  fellow named Newt
Decided  to visit a prostitute
But she stole all his cash
 and gave him a rash
Then his wife gave him the boot

It was the worst morning after for Newt
after he  went to that  house of ill repute
When he pissed  it did  burn
A hard lesson learned
Of that there is no dispute...

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Eye of Newt and zigzag slither of snake
Let me get even with Zelma McBake
She was a bully
Down by the gully
Please turn this zombie into a garden rake!

Her spell had been sold with a guarantee
She was very disappointed with thee
I thought it would work
Sold to me by a jerk
Unhappy customer turned me into a flea!...

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Lucky horseshoe a lone white feather.

Four leaf clover and lucky Heather.

Eyes of newt and wing of bat. 

Do not cross a cat that is black.

Don't walk under a ladder it is said.

Or something will happen and strike you dead.

Devils witches and warlocks to. 

Do you believe in superstitions? 

I know I do. 

...

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Teen Felix got pissed as a newt
His actions he could not dispute
He pee’d in the sink 
Caused by demon drink
What happened next he can’t refute

He perched on the sink for a dump
Brown faeces came out of his rump
The weight of his load
Made the sink implode
My brother I just want to thump!
...

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A long time he has hung on
It's about time he gets the boot
The rest would be glad to see him gone
They'll team up to say good-bye to Newt




Chastushka Form-Russian Poetry contest of Gwen Rix 
With visiting Judge Andrea Dietrich co-judging
7th Place Winner...

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EARLY MASS IN ORDINARY TIME

Gray helmet hair, carefully 
Curled, dangling earrings, 
Designer suit, ear of salamander, 
Eye of newt.  White haired 
Soulmate, shoulders strong,  
More is More, importance seen 
In every pore: Respectability 
highly prized, but my Sunday 
Plea to The Powers That Be: 
Deliver Me from Respectable, 
     so unacceptable....

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Desert Delegate Hunt

Caucus numbers poor for Rick Santorum
Hopes next week will be a better forum.

Disappointing evening for Doctor Paul
Perhaps in Maine he’ll make a larger haul.

No crowds, just the press for angry grandpa Newt
Believes March will be better, needs some loot.

The desert granted a large win to Mitt
But in spite of victory, still not a hit....

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Eye of newt, wart of toad, 
tongue of snake, wing of bat,
 whisker of cat, dragons’ blood…

Mix together what you have
a witch’s brew…

Casting a spell on one who has
 harmed you…

Or to rid someone who brings you 
despair…

A witch’s brew is whatever you
 want it to be…

Be careful, for it may,
 just backfire on you…

By Sandra Lea Hoban
©2009...

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Two of these
One of those
Take with food
One more dose
Swallow it down
Like magical spells
Self-medicate
To make yourself well
Tail of newt
Wing of fly
Take everyday and 
you won't cry
Lock it all up
Behind chemical walls
Don't read fine print
Across ceiling crawl
Pharmaceutical cauldron 
Sorcery lab
Not just broken body
Your soul's on the slab...

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“Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.”
? William Shakespeare  Macbeth  The Witches brew


I’m hungry, sounds good to me~ I sure hope it’s gluten and dairy free
...

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I visited an empty house today
I found elephants with mirrors on its hide
And a dromedary with fluffy yarn 
That raggedy Anne wore for hair

I asked if I could have the records
She had given me one year when I had
Turned six years old and had a bunk bed 

And an electric ionizer next to 
A terrarium with a newt that
I cared about but did not understand
Why her life was as important as mine....

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The witch’s brew
Concoction of many things
All evil inside

She stirs it all with a large stick
Gnarled and old it stirs and stirs

The potion is for
Unsuspecting young lass
That wants love

She’ll do anything
For her tender hearts desire
Even ask the witch

The witch that has another motive
Than to unite two lovers as one

She wishes to see
This handsome young man
Turn into a newt

Russell Sivey...

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Harry, a tiger salamander stole a woman’s blackberry
Quickly swam with it out to the bogged down Derby ferry
He was chased by a great crested newt named Terry
Terry wanted the device for his Great Aunt Mary

Mary heard of this and said to her brother Larry
Who wants an obsolete stupid antiquated blackberry?
Larry did not tell her, but he had hired Terry
To steal the blackberry back from the tiger salamander Harry....

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