Excuse me, waiter
I can't be late for --
Er, do you know the blessing
for salad dressing...
OK, then shovel some ice
in my drink
Helps septuagenarians go
clink, clink
Tad Waddler's Drawbar Vogel Crumpets
1/3 cup of salad dressing
6 cups of selfrising flour
1 1/3 cup of milk
5 tablespoon of sugar
5 tablespoon of cooked grits
5 Tablespoons of sourcream
1/2 shredded cucumber salted and strained
1/2 cup of diced onions
2 teaspoons of crushed garlic
1/4 cooked bacon
1/2 teaspoons of crushed dry dill weed
1/2 teadspoon of lemon juice
1 shredded egg yolk
1 tablespoon of extra dry gin
mix well and scope into muffin tins.
Bake at 350 between fifteen and twenty minutes
I was at a wild party,
up above bourbon street.
When someone cried out,
so, what's a Yeet?
An imbibed guy replied,
as he rose from his seat.
"Au contraire Mes aims,
e'st fait accompli."
Well, a yeet's a teen yet,
that's still very messy.
Cause he styles his fine hair,
With ranch salad dressing.
Yeah, I wanna be fair,
but he had too many.
And it's always a blast,
when you party with French Yeti's!
I really don't speak French,
Only, English and bad grammar.
Hope I won't end up,
In the Poetry slammer.
Get a slice of bologna extra thick
add butter to the frying pan so it won't stick
Cut the bologna in the shape of a German cross
fry it till the edges brown the taste is boss
I am not trying to boast
But I like my served with toast
Add a slice of American cheese
melts just right so easy to please
Spread mayonnaise or mustard, I like salad dressing
without the tangy taste you don't know what your missing
Lettuce a slice of tomato and don't forget the pickle
it's enough to make your taste buds water and tickle
Take a big bite another one two three
yummy yum your tummy in ecstasy
There's only one thing to do when your done
and that my friend is to fry up another one
I was forwarded a photo
Of a steak knife, firmly stuck
Into salad dressing in a
Plastic bottle; I thought - yuck!
Dressing oozed where it was punctured
And I wondered what it meant,
Then I noticed it was Caesar
And the joke was evident.
For today’s the Ides of March, the date
When Caesar was betrayed,
Stabbed to death by some conspirators
As history was made.
To whoever took that picture,
I applaud your clever take
Since you sacrificed your salad
All for art and humor’s sake.
I missed the meals mama used to cook
Her recipes were not in the cookery book
Mama was just more of a kitchen queen
She's the best cook we have ever seen
Mama's Fufu with Chicken soup was my best
The manner she cooked it was better than the rest
Her meals always nourished the spirit
As they filled the stomach every minute
After school she served us with spaghetti
Mama's garnish as elegant as bugatti
She'll serve with eggs and some salad dressing
It was a special kind of love, very impressing
Oh my gosh! Her meals saved me countless times
I cannot really explain that in poetic lines
Family dinner was a time of joy and conversation
A time of fellowship, laughter and celebrations
She sprinkled all her meals with goodness
And carefully spooned cinnamon for sweetness
Making dessert, bread and cakes for birthdays
Chicken sauce and pineapple drinks on holidays
Never was there a meal like her morning prayers
She'll spend early hours of her days in prayers
Her heart was full of love, peace and joy
She was our lamp, like a light in the city of Troy
When Poets Shop
Finding a robin on the freeway
is not more startling than encountering
a poet in the condiments aisle
at the market. When worlds collide!
His tall red-bandana'd figure
strides past the packaged nuts
and dried fruits. Warning to customers: he may
declaim at any moment!
Let's make a poem from
the salad dressing shelves--
let the Goddess dressing
humble the Ranch and Italian;
they fall to their knees
before her glory!
Lingering in the produce aisle now,
where the cilantro pretends to be parsley,
luring us to build a hut of scented
greenery, with a roof of leeks
and lemon grass! Forget the
bee-loud glade-- there is an aisle-full
of air fresheners nearby!
Checking out with the cheerful gray-haired
COOP workers, our bags now carry food, fuel in
colorful packaging; our minds
tuck away seeds for future poems.
Peggy Brightman
(c) June 2018
Hey Mom
Don’t forget
Salad dressing
For George
Can’t get enough
Salad to eat
Ethiopia was easy to chew right through
African jungles taste delicious yum
Biodiversity treasure-troves devoured
No splintered aftertaste or toothpicks left
Eating Australia was a challenge
Don't want to hurt no kangaroos
I wish I had a bigger mouth for Europe
To cover bushes and lumber in one chomp
Rain in South America is like salad dressing
Makes me famished as trees vanish one by one
Canopy after canopy drop
This place is too alien for me
Sand has always been my favorite snack
I'm moving on to dryer spots
When I finish with this world real soon
It's off to other planets to consume
BB melted chocolate balls
Metal onions green and bronze
pour it on, pour it on
Croutons made of dandelions
Cherry Bing lettuce tomatoes dressed in ranch dressing
Pour it on, pour it on
Redwood and cedar fences cups of Joe's
Carrots, celery orange blossoms
Pour it on
Pick your teeth with balls of cotton
Don't need a fork, just my first finger and thumb
And when it's good, yum, I'm done
Pour it op
I've eaten from the bowl of creed
Greed of carrots ridden rabbits
Pour it on
Now I have a habit eating radishes crunched lettuce cabbage radish celery
beets cartons with poured on. .
SALAD DRESSING
written words by James Edward Lee Sr.
03/03/15
I fished tomatoes in the lake
and picked the pasta from the tree.
I shot the herbs as they flew overhead
and speared the cheeses in the sea.
I took the lettuce from the coop.
I milked the gentle cow for wine.
I caught wild cucumbers on the run,
sheared avocados from the swine.
I roped the celery on the range
and herded carrots in the pen.
A goat gave forth the salad dressing
plus some ice tea now and then.
The table is set, the food prepared.
Plates and forks are set in place.
To think I made it all myself:
this gourmet fare to stuff my face!
Walk slowly and chew gum
eating prunes makes you run
Thinking of what you should have said
spending more then what you have
Time flies young boys sigh
when they grow and realize
Little girls grow up to
why back then were you so rude
Forgetting why you enter a room
watching media is all doom and gloom
How do you get rid of hiccups
eating ramen to fill you up
Salad dressing not mayonnaise
smoking and drinking is just a phase
Be ready for the big kaboom
sleeping in a underground room
Life is one step then two
one step forward then fall back two
Diapered as babies we outgrow them
only to end up old wearing Depends
A rat, a mat, an extra large sleeping bag, and a sofa went to a swimming pool and dived in head first. Never mind the salad dressing shouted the orchestra audience from the balconies. Vast crowds. Vast castle crossroads. Strings, skins and buttons roared in agreement. That tannoy announcement was so correct and ensured gold medals for all competitors. Oh wow and a massive cow. Personified petrified pickle. Sta.singing dingys in questionable quotation queues. And arts of a foremost tongue are felt in the gentle rolling hills which were nevertheless seemingly bright and beautiful. So go bury eighty three times in a swirling swamp. Dig no division dog dream drams. And a crane of crockery is a crocodile in a cradle. Hahah an basket brought boiling broth. Trepid tantalisation terrapins Xxxxx
The sun is setting and soon I’ll be getting in the mood,
For some chicken in the pot, my favorite kind of food.
Some chicken thighs, potatoes, red peppers and tomatoes.
Add onions, mushrooms, and carrots, whatever you say goes.
Then choose some kind of marinade, it really doesn’t matter.
Salad dressing, barbecue, or maybe something hotter.
Bake for an hour at 350 degrees and soon it will be done.
Let it coast for ten minutes after it’s out of the oven.
If you’re lazy like I am and don’t want to spend hours
In the kitchen making something that you will devour.
Then follow my simple recipe that I’ve described above.
And you will have a dinner, that you will surely love.
Salad dressing cold
Sprinkle on favorite dish
Should be a toss up
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