Long Salad dressing Poems

It’s Sunday morning, my watch shows that it’s 33° and 5:58 am. Surprisingly, half of us are up and motile. My excuse is that I’m scheduled to volunteer at the hospital this morning. 
Leong just...

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If President Trump knew me 
What would I be? 
A prince, pauper or just someone with a degree 
He the President may know me from a time when I was a little chukker 
During the...

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3/4 to 1 pound of ground lamb
1/4 cup of lemon juice
3 tablespoons of rosemary
1 tablespoon of cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon of ground ginger
1 tablespoon of garlic cloves (crushed)
3 anchovies (smashed into a paste)
1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon
1/4...

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You go into the kitchen and begin to prepare a meal.
I tiptoe up behind you and tickle your waist.
You jump and squeal with laughter.
You put the ingredients on the work surface.
And pickup your sharp knife...

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It was time to sit little Timmy down
It was time to have "The Talk"
"Timmy" I said "Timmy your daddy is the super hero known as"
it is here I took a dramatic pause and finally said
"Cabbage...

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she babbled over the gosip.
citing what she thought was fair.
She mentioned people she knew and some
she didn't know. And emsized who didn't care
if they cared they'd be here helping wiff the pies
or they'd be offering...

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saltease slaw
1 cup of dried cranberries
1 cup of diced cucumber (shredded)
2 cups of grannie smith apples (Shredded)
2 cups of shredded cabbage
1/4 cup of avocdo crushed
1/4 cup of sesame seed oil
1 cup of sour cream
1 cup...

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she looked into the cupboard
and handed me this
" look Bouis, I have sumthang for you,
it was your great, great, great, Grand cousins recipe for
his magic porkchops."Ya'll be like poo dinna: futcum fair!"
she said she was...

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invoice number twenty seventy six
...................................................
15 violins
10 Chellos
10 bassoons
10 clarinets
5 flutes
5 tubas
10 French-horns
3 bass guitars
2 (pairs) kettledrums
2 snare drums
1 bass drum
1 chimes
1 tom-tom

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6 heads of lettuce
1 quart of artichoke hearts
salad dressing
6 pounds of deli ham
3 pounds...

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Chickpeas drained and
smashed
2 Cups
1 teaspoon of lemon zest
1 teaspoon of lemon juice
1 tablespoon of cilantro
1 teaspoon of garlic powder
3 green onions chopped fine
5 tablespoons of dried parsley
1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
1 Tablespoon of cultured buttermilk...

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I missed the meals mama used to cook 
Her recipes were not in the cookery book 
Mama was just more of a kitchen queen 
She's the best cook we have ever seen 

Mama's Fufu with...

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When Poets Shop

Finding a robin on the freeway
is not more startling than encountering
a poet in the condiments aisle
at the market.  When worlds collide!

His tall red-bandana'd figure
strides past the packaged nuts
and dried fruits. Warning to...

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Your grandma's feeling sad today.
You may have seen her cry.
Someone is gone forever
Whom she'd hoped would never die.

She's remembering the long ago
When she was just a girl
And his piercing blue eyes from the screen
Could set...

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A rat, a mat, an extra large sleeping bag, and a sofa went to a swimming pool and dived in head first. Never mind the salad dressing shouted the orchestra audience from the balconies. Vast...

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Get a slice of bologna extra thick
add butter to the frying pan so it won't stick
Cut the bologna in the shape of a German cross
fry it till the edges brown the taste is boss

I am...

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His Fridge


Sometimes I’m afraid to open the door!
.
Half a lemon..dried up and sad.
A carton of noodles  that smell pretty bad.

Some sour cream gone  shockingly green.
A tomato with quite an unhealthy sheen.

Some carrots that...

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The sun is setting and soon I’ll be getting in the mood,
For some chicken in the pot, my favorite kind of food.
Some chicken thighs, potatoes, red peppers and tomatoes.
Add onions, mushrooms, and carrots, whatever you...

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BB melted chocolate balls
Metal onions green and bronze
pour it on, pour it on
Croutons made of dandelions
Cherry Bing lettuce tomatoes dressed in ranch dressing
Pour it on, pour it on
Redwood and cedar fences cups of Joe's
Carrots, celery...

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Walk slowly and chew gum
eating prunes makes you run
Thinking of what you should have said
spending more then what you have

Time flies young boys sigh
when they grow and realize
Little girls grow up to
why back then were...

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Ethiopia was easy to chew right through
African jungles taste delicious yum
Biodiversity treasure-troves devoured
No splintered aftertaste or toothpicks left
Eating Australia was a challenge
Don't want to hurt no kangaroos
I wish I had a bigger mouth for Europe
To...

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Tad Waddler's   Drawbar Vogel Crumpets
     1/3 cup of salad dressing
     6 cups of selfrising flour
     1 1/3 cup of milk
 ...

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I fished tomatoes in the lake
and picked the pasta from the tree.
I shot the herbs as they flew overhead
and speared the cheeses in the sea.

I took the lettuce from the coop.
I milked the gentle cow...

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Mountains as far as the eye can see.
Can this really be?

Sharp hills roll violently,
As the wind mills turn silently.

Time flows idly,
How many miles until we're free?

This will not go easy,
Yet, we'll acheive
The feasibly serious
Task of...

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I was at a wild party,
up above bourbon street.
When someone cried out,
so, what's a Yeet?
An imbibed guy replied,
as he rose from his seat.
"Au contraire Mes aims,
e'st fait accompli."
Well, a yeet's a teen yet,
that's still very...

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I was forwarded a photo
Of a steak knife, firmly stuck
Into salad dressing in a 
Plastic bottle; I thought - yuck!

Dressing oozed where it was punctured
And I wondered what it meant,
Then I noticed it was Caesar
And...

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