Best Salad Dressing Poems
I missed the meals mama used to cook
Her recipes were not in the cookery book
Mama was just more of a kitchen queen
She's the best cook we have ever seen
Mama's Fufu with Chicken soup was my best
The manner she cooked it was better than the rest
Her meals always nourished the spirit
As they filled the stomach every minute
After school she served us with spaghetti
Mama's garnish as elegant as bugatti
She'll serve with eggs and some salad dressing
It was a special kind of love, very impressing
Oh my gosh! Her meals saved me countless times
I cannot really explain that in poetic lines
Family dinner was a time of joy and conversation
A time of fellowship, laughter and celebrations
She sprinkled all her meals with goodness
And carefully spooned cinnamon for sweetness
Making dessert, bread and cakes for birthdays
Chicken sauce and pineapple drinks on holidays
Never was there a meal like her morning prayers
She'll spend early hours of her days in prayers
Her heart was full of love, peace and joy
She was our lamp, like a light in the city of Troy
It was time to sit little Timmy down
It was time to have "The Talk"
"Timmy" I said "Timmy your daddy is the super hero known as"
it is here I took a dramatic pause and finally said
"Cabbage Head"
At this point i waited patiently,
patiently for Timmy to stop laughing.
I tried to continue but Tim wouldn't have it
"no dad please, please don't speak I'm trying to catch my breath"
I remained silent. Just then Timmy said
"so whose your sidekick cauliflower ears"
he was now gasping for air through his hysterical laughter
Timmy I said "calm down we have to talk"
Timmy stopped laughing but then he added
"so where do you keep your Super Hero costume?
In the vegetable crisper" back to Tim laughing
which led me to believe Tim was being sarcastic
" What's your superpower? The ability to
control itty biddy Bunnies to do your bidding,
(again with the sarcasm)
turning meat eaters into Vegetarians.
(my child hits the nail on the head)
So who is your arch nemesis Vegetable Chopper, he slices he dices."
(this kid knows a lot about me)
"No no I know Salad Dressing he drenches you in his juices
until you wilt." That's ridiculous I think
I would never fight a bad guy named Salad dressing
...again.
I decided I would give Timmy some time
to absorb our serious talk while I made a call.
In fact I decided to wait until the next day
I had to call my sidekick. The phone rang. He answered
I said "Cauliflower Ear is that you"
Maurice Yvonne
August 30 2014
You're a Super Hero
Poetry Contest-Carol Eastman
You go into the kitchen and begin to prepare a meal.
I tiptoe up behind you and tickle your waist.
You jump and squeal with laughter.
You put the ingredients on the work surface.
And pickup your sharp knife and wave it in my face.
Now Keith stop being silly while I prepare your food.
No more touchy feely. I am not in a childish mood.
I put up my hands and put them around your waist.
Giving you a passionate kiss.
You turn and use the cutting board.
I open the chilled white wine.
You take the glass and have a drink.
Then leave it on the side of the sink.
You cut the salad and shake the bowl.
Putting in salad dressing I think it was Vinaigrette.
It was nice the salad was all wet.
You peeled some fruit and took an orange segment.
Turning to me you put it to my mouth.
I bit into it halfway then put my lips to yours.
So we both got the taste.
It ran into our tastebuds.
You laughed and turned away.
I pulled your hair to one side.
And kissed your neck.
The taste of the orange was on your skin.
You laughed and said it tickles so much.
I said I love when you laugh! I can never get enough.
We move to the table to eat the meal.
You begin to rub my leg with your foot.
I say darling what is it you want?
You push closer and whisper.
My lover Can you pass the salt.
I get up and walk over to your side.
You pull back and look in my eyes.
I take your hand and you get up.
Then you sit in my lap facing me.
Your hair covers my face as you lock lips with me.
We can eat our meal later it wont go cold.
Making love to you is always more fun.
When with the bayou they're messing
BP says, "Oh what a blessing,
The mix will be fine
Add vinegar from wine
To make a fine salad dressing!"
Author's note: In the end; BP will pay close to nothing, and the rest of us will be stuck with
the cost of the environmental damage. To the anti-government regulation libertarians: this
lack of reason in law enables rich and powerful companies to get away with theft beyond
imagination. Death to the Tea Party!
Ethiopia was easy to chew right through
African jungles taste delicious yum
Biodiversity treasure-troves devoured
No splintered aftertaste or toothpicks left
Eating Australia was a challenge
Don't want to hurt no kangaroos
I wish I had a bigger mouth for Europe
To cover bushes and lumber in one chomp
Rain in South America is like salad dressing
Makes me famished as trees vanish one by one
Canopy after canopy drop
This place is too alien for me
Sand has always been my favorite snack
I'm moving on to dryer spots
When I finish with this world real soon
It's off to other planets to consume
His Fridge
Sometimes I’m afraid to open the door!
.
Half a lemon..dried up and sad.
A carton of noodles that smell pretty bad.
Some sour cream gone shockingly green.
A tomato with quite an unhealthy sheen.
Some carrots that seem to be growing hair.
Last year’s fruitcake a friend brought to share.
Two slices of pizza from last weeks big bash.
I think that plate must be Gram’s corned beef hash.
Way in the back theres a jar with one pickle.
I’d think about eating it if I wasn’t so fickle.
Six bottles of soy sauce and one salad dressing.
If he doesn’t get sick its one of God’s blessings.
Go get your coat, we’re eating out.
The sun is setting and soon I’ll be getting in the mood,
For some chicken in the pot, my favorite kind of food.
Some chicken thighs, potatoes, red peppers and tomatoes.
Add onions, mushrooms, and carrots, whatever you say goes.
Then choose some kind of marinade, it really doesn’t matter.
Salad dressing, barbecue, or maybe something hotter.
Bake for an hour at 350 degrees and soon it will be done.
Let it coast for ten minutes after it’s out of the oven.
If you’re lazy like I am and don’t want to spend hours
In the kitchen making something that you will devour.
Then follow my simple recipe that I’ve described above.
And you will have a dinner, that you will surely love.
BB melted chocolate balls
Metal onions green and bronze
pour it on, pour it on
Croutons made of dandelions
Cherry Bing lettuce tomatoes dressed in ranch dressing
Pour it on, pour it on
Redwood and cedar fences cups of Joe's
Carrots, celery orange blossoms
Pour it on
Pick your teeth with balls of cotton
Don't need a fork, just my first finger and thumb
And when it's good, yum, I'm done
Pour it op
I've eaten from the bowl of creed
Greed of carrots ridden rabbits
Pour it on
Now I have a habit eating radishes crunched lettuce cabbage radish celery
beets cartons with poured on. .
SALAD DRESSING
written words by James Edward Lee Sr.
03/03/15
When Poets Shop
Finding a robin on the freeway
is not more startling than encountering
a poet in the condiments aisle
at the market. When worlds collide!
His tall red-bandana'd figure
strides past the packaged nuts
and dried fruits. Warning to customers: he may
declaim at any moment!
Let's make a poem from
the salad dressing shelves--
let the Goddess dressing
humble the Ranch and Italian;
they fall to their knees
before her glory!
Lingering in the produce aisle now,
where the cilantro pretends to be parsley,
luring us to build a hut of scented
greenery, with a roof of leeks
and lemon grass! Forget the
bee-loud glade-- there is an aisle-full
of air fresheners nearby!
Checking out with the cheerful gray-haired
COOP workers, our bags now carry food, fuel in
colorful packaging; our minds
tuck away seeds for future poems.
Peggy Brightman
(c) June 2018
I fished tomatoes in the lake
and picked the pasta from the tree.
I shot the herbs as they flew overhead
and speared the cheeses in the sea.
I took the lettuce from the coop.
I milked the gentle cow for wine.
I caught wild cucumbers on the run,
sheared avocados from the swine.
I roped the celery on the range
and herded carrots in the pen.
A goat gave forth the salad dressing
plus some ice tea now and then.
The table is set, the food prepared.
Plates and forks are set in place.
To think I made it all myself:
this gourmet fare to stuff my face!
Salad dressing cold
Sprinkle on favorite dish
Should be a toss up
I was at a wild party,
up above bourbon street.
When someone cried out,
so, what's a Yeet?
An imbibed guy replied,
as he rose from his seat.
"Au contraire Mes aims,
e'st fait accompli."
Well, a yeet's a teen yet,
that's still very messy.
Cause he styles his fine hair,
With ranch salad dressing.
Yeah, I wanna be fair,
but he had too many.
And it's always a blast,
when you party with French Yeti's!
I really don't speak French,
Only, English and bad grammar.
Hope I won't end up,
In the Poetry slammer.
Mountains as far as the eye can see.
Can this really be?
Sharp hills roll violently,
As the wind mills turn silently.
Time flows idly,
How many miles until we're free?
This will not go easy,
Yet, we'll acheive
The feasibly serious
Task of not becoming delirious.
Don't act imperious,
I have no patience
For those who nurture
Nefarious relations.
Grievous intentions,
Ordered to specious henchmen.
By the facetious X-men
Who agreed to this
Lesson
Hold on tight
To your Smith & Wesson.
Pain is a blessing
That pours out, like caesar
Salad dressing.
she looked into the cupboard
and handed me this
" look Bouis, I have sumthang for you,
it was your great, great, great, Grand cousins recipe for
his magic porkchops."Ya'll be like poo dinna: futcum fair!"
she said she was speaking in her native tongue. I took the
recipe and looked at it, " Miss Dultrim, where did you get this?
She told me I copied it, straight outta, your great, great, great
Grand cousins diary, in 1943, he was looking to expand his failing business and a woman down in Wizzy-anna, gave him this drab, and told him to
scab his misses, and chop os' pork's and scramble Bouis! he did that and became famous, when he turned it over to chicken.
Ya'll gonna need sum Pork chops
sum salt, sum flour, cornstarch cayenne pepper paprika sum dried spaggetti sauce sum ilatain seasoning(dry salad dressing)
and sum dry onion soup mix, and sum oil for the frying! Bouis gonna get Wanked on tonight!, Bouis gotta sho nuf, winna here!"
Moma stop calling me Bouis, and take that silly pirate suit off, they aint have these ingredeints in 1945, hold-up now, ya'll dun forgot to drege the chops in the eggwash, and then redipp them back in the flour, than you fry'em up in the oil! Bouis gon get Wittle coo, paw-paw. The added Value of doo-ditty coo paw, get down ditty ditty dew! Bouis and the le femme' cutie, do dang do!
Goldne brown pork and sum French fried potatioes!
invoice number twenty seventy six
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15 violins
10 Chellos
10 bassoons
10 clarinets
5 flutes
5 tubas
10 French-horns
3 bass guitars
2 (pairs) kettledrums
2 snare drums
1 bass drum
1 chimes
1 tom-tom
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6 heads of lettuce
1 quart of artichoke hearts
salad dressing
6 pounds of deli ham
3 pounds of bacon
5 pounds of roasted turkey breast
6 sliced cucumbers (marinaded in vinager, salt, and apple juice, and red pepper flakes, 3 chpped anchovies)
16 tomatoes
2 cups of mixed provolone and swiss chesse
garlic powder
5 onions
19 chicken breast
10 loaves of fresh baked itailain bread
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sip on diss'
1 gallon of brewed tea
1 gallon of grape juice
1 quart of orange juice
2 cups of lime juice
1 fifth of rum
1 quart of cider
2 quarts of pureed strawberries
1 bottle of sweet red win
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sum time for rehersting, sum lyrics:
ya'll know what's up.
let's do it right!
feel what you singing.
let's do-it right!