I sat on a chair completely nervous
to know where I would do my youth service.
Then came the rudest shock of my whole life,
I'd have to go up north where strifes were rife.
I didn't even try to change the posting,
I was downcast as many were boasting,
that they'd have a pleasant year of favour.
Me, it'd be a year of wasted labour.
At the camp, I hated all that I saw,
Even my strangeness was greeted with awe.
House flies may probably be their best friends,
because they surround their foods in their tens.
The harsher weather was too much for me,
Even, with dressing one can't be carefree.
Everywhere I went there, there was tension.
Trouble seemed to come by its mere mention.
I resigned to fate till one fateful day,
When my surname sake came to where I stay,
to ask if perchance we're from the same place.
And t'was a family tree we could trace.
She then introduced me to her father,
who knew my father without much bother.
So, in a strange land where all hopes were lost.
I met my lost cousin without a cost.
are those Tiffany lamps?
the new neighbor asks me, staring at my stuff.
I have no idea, but I like them, I reply.
Were they expensive? She asks.
Rudest guest ever.
These days good cars oddly somersault,
So this jeep you keep ridding of fault
Big cash you shall be getting plus malt;
Journey time I might speed catapult;
Now,alive and kicking,next in vault...
My dear wife won't fancy the result:
Sure to her hit like rudest insult
Today,jeeps could neatly somersault
And I mean the serviced for cursed fault
But their mechanics neatly assault,
Their Goliaths kill with catapult
If you can,you should this bravely halt
Here cars are the meals and you the salt.
That’s’ what they do in Theo’s lodge:
All sorts of wrong papers forge;
There every nosing cop dodge,
Who’d rogues from hideouts disgorge…
In Theo’s lodge would hoodlums surge,
Sweet crime at all times their urge;
There, new forms of it emerge;
When ‘This Sin and 'That' they merge…
So, from Theo’s lodge start Crime Purge:
From the Brown Brick ‘Hoodlums’ scourge
A crushing band’s rudest nudge
And just watch all of them budge,
Who Nation’s currency mar,
Factory face change of a car…
With all sorts of wrongs go far!
In Encino there's a veterinarian
who is the Valleys rudest contrarian
He'll insult a shy tabby
Greet a pug: Hey there, flabby!
But at home, he's a kind Presbyterian
5/17/22
None rankle me like a parent so blind,
he or she that see what they choose to see.
O readers, I beg of that rudest kind
must they breed so damn prolifically?
A time to be seen, a time to be heard,
such should be the nature of kids and kings -
and patience tempered with an ordered word
in the battle of wills and childish things.
All I ask of you children of the corn
is hold your quicksilver tongues as a rule,
but every minute a jackass is born
who will play up, play dumb, and play the fool!
Thus a child not chastised in transgression
is schooled in misdeed and not the lesson.
Written: June 1991
Tall and narrow,
the houses stand,
wall against wall,
hunched together
on the edge of the
cobbled street,
as if armed against
the unknown.
Tiny balconies
Where laundry
Used hang on railings
To dry, now bursting
With potted plants
Walls bright yellows,
greens and blues,
stucco and stone
mortared together
hundreds of years ago
by stout men in
leather aprons
with the rudest of
implements,
they lean inward
over the street,
which once ran with mud,
the contents of
slop jars, and wash water.
Now teeming with tourists
who hobble on the cobbles,
peering into first floors,
converted into tiny shops
crammed with hats
and shirts and sandals,
soaps and wine and bracelets,
postcards and paintings,
candy and local delicasies.
Oldtown suddenly finds itself
squarely in the middle
off the twenty-first century.
The dead are tired,
the living go on
Breathless and timeless,
all energy gone
The dead left to wander,
betwixt and between
Finality’s heartbreak
—the end of the dream
(Philadelphia Ronald McDonald House: May, 2021)
He thought it was a rude slight
The rudest one he’d had all night.
She had no idea he felt this way.
She was truly only trying to play.
Her sarcasm was not too bright.
She had shoved him away with all her might.
By using blatant sarcasm that night.
Not knowing this was not the way.
so sad for her, felt bad for her
It was kind of a family blight
Their meanness gave us all a fright
She would have to learn a better way
If she wanted to keep a man like Clay
Who was wonderful both day and night
so sad for her, felt bad for her
I met the rudest librarian.
"I'd like a library card, "I said to him.
"You have to prove, "he said annoyed, "that you're a New York City resident."
I said, "No problem,"
then I stabbed him.
At my doctor’s clinic, I again encountered “Bot1”;
nearly running over people in front of me.
It seemed to be coming towards me;
to its whims I’d nearly succumbed.
No, “excuse me”, “Lookout” or a
“Kiss my big rubber wheels”.
In front of me, it turned and stopped,
screaming, “Clear the hall, I have things to do!”
I tried to go around the bully but,
it spun around and screamed again;
I said back, “You’re in my way now,
you spinning bucket of tin!”
“Bot1” blinked red lights,
backed away and backed itself up;
turning into another room,
it sat there, seeming to have given up.
As I walked past the door, I felt it leer at me.
I sped up my pace and looking back I saw it
rolling out again; oh how I wanted to flee.
As I neared the exit, once again it screamed;
this time it was picking on someone else, it seems.
Humans are supposed to control that “Bot1” but,
I doubt one was that day;
it was the rudest monstrosity I’ve encountered any day.
So if you encounter a clinic, “Bot”,
don’t let it push you around;
just feel free to insult it back and
stand your own ground.
Feet still ache and shoulders are sore,
From the labors this night that they bore.
And still, a smile must they show,
To those who come to this abode.
With diligence and steady hand,
Orders are taken by others' command.
So to the fry of a kitchen hot,
They carry the message of who ordered what.
Then, again, they look for people anew,
Who come for service, food, and perhaps a brew.
When the fare is prepared, the kitchen bell will ring,
To beckon them to serve, as they dance with haste to answer its ring.
They wait to serve, then serve and wait,
They are at each customer's beckoning.
They smile to even the rudest ones,
And silently pray there be a reckoning.
So wait they will and wait they must,
Good service...and a smile upon their lips.
You can broaden their smiles at meals end,
Be generous with your tips!
Rude Polly Parrot
Pretty Polly Parrot
likes saying naughty words
Pretty Polly Parrot is the
Rudest of all Birds
But should you ever wonder
Why Parrots are so bold
They only repeat master’s words
If the truth be told
Asking you to be you
Because you are seeming a little blue
Carless from life, taking into mind
Doesn't that keep you on time!
Even though you have been a leaving,
Freedom has brought you back to my door
Geese laid their eggs, right by your sore
Heaven knows why you come back
I just open up the store
Joyful you come ,at last
Kindly I give you some cash
Loving the way words roll off your tongue
Mindless to say they
Never did they want you to stay
Obviously they said the rudest things
Politeness was not one of their ways
Quizzing you solely
Respect has got take away
Sadly beating you just so you have a place to stay
Time has seemed it will take forever
Under the weather is the
Vases of the loved feathers
Why you seek to get a hold
Xerox is not in
Your behold
Zig- zagging is your only way you would be sold
I was walking straightly along the street,
Eyes of unknown were saying their warm greet.
Feels like that I was being stripped,
Eyes of unknown were trying me to grip.
I was walking straightly along the street,
Grins of unknown were offering me a treat.
Feels like they were inviting me,
Grins of unknown were seducing me.
I was walking straightly along the street,
Touch of unknown was a soothing sprit.
Feels like they were pulling me,
Touch of unknown was really trying me.
I was walking straightly along the street,
Words of unknown were their rudest kit.
It feels like that they were treating me bad,
Words of unknown only made me to run hard.
Related Poems