Rude Poems

Watching the news on my television screen,
I can almost see the pulling of the wires,
And I imagine you will know what I mean:
When giving reports on the current bush fires,
Is a smile considered too utterly obscene?
Conversely, all news of royalty...Read More

How do I drown out
The dimwitted stupidity
Of your foolhardy rants
The halfwitted folly of your absurdity
The madness of your lunacy
Who in heaven’s name
Do you think you’re fooling
You’re so generous with disparaging remarks
What have you ever accomplished
How dare you pretend to sit...Read More

I've heard you swear,
I've seen you weep,
I've held you when you had no sleep.

I've shouted, i've cursed,
I've sent rude texts
To this one-time friend
Who's now your ex.

He should have been better,
He should have been kind,
But now it's time
To put him out...Read More

WONDERS OF IX A (2019)
Millennium is a box of wonders which crave
To get knowledge, values, principle and love.
In my satchel I have eight wonders that drive
Me crazy, frenzied, rabid. But lo how I love
All of them. Composed, wise sane and...Read More

Here's some tips I can say,
If I give you advice this way,
If you keep eating like you are today,
You'll never fit through the door!
You're twice the size you were before!
So I'm not doing beer belly porn!...Read More

Here he comes! 
And SHE is with him!
Adoration. Love. Pure fans.
Crazy with enthusiasm for the “it” couple.
Someone screams. Others stare. This is not the Beatles.

He does not hold the door open.
Like in the movies.
She does not smile. 
They do not...Read More

By God's green light

And all of Gabriel's Vestal Angels

May the Dead 

So much , Once loved

By the righteous and the meek

Return

Before the new day dawn's

For they shall inherit the Earth

And with it all God's Treasure

Measured not in wealth

But rather in...Read More

Beryl was terribly fat
So huge she just wore a hat
This wasn't rude
She had to be nude
She could have done better than that...Read More

        GREAT ESCAPE
             
   
              Glorious...Read More

BAD RESOLUTIONS 

Be good, be kind, help those along the way.
All good resolutions I’ve made on New Year’s Day.
Don’t do this, don’t do that, do know right from wrong.
Resolutions I have never kept for long.
Every year I’ve broken them before...Read More

Disliked him instantly
He smelled of cigarette smoke
He was crass and rude and loud
He winked at me making me mad

Then he sat down at the piano
And showed the world what a maestro
can do; he played with the aid of angels
Faeries danced...Read More

My auntie’s best friend Liselotte
Adores making sweet panna cotta
Auntie’s over the moon
Grabs an enormous spoon
Then greedily gobbles the lotta!

By piling sweet treats on her plate
Poor auntie starts putting on weight
She steps on the scales
Then curses and wails
Must diet before it's...Read More

i once knew a stinky dude
who smelled so bad it was rude
but he was a great guy
always smiled and said hi
and had a sweet atitude...Read More

My dear boy, never waste food
said the Dad; no way it's good;
Do you know there are thousands
of people in surroundings
who can't afford to have lunch
or some crispy food to munch.
Take only that much in plate
that you can eat; why to...Read More

Spare tire is kept available
As an urgent need replacement
To a dead flat rubber cushion
Of a wagon off the pavement.

A spare tire is an excess fat
Around someone's heavy waistline; 
If girl gets rid of this thickness, 
Then her figure shall be...Read More

From my smartphone
fear rings
through 
knock, rattle, hospital hospice sounds
We connect. 
Tonight all I can think about is your voice, Jean.
The last call.
Vibrations continue 
fading
ivory white and black keys 
notes play out 
on Dakota land 
snow and deep deep holes 
from...Read More

she came in discreet way to me 
and asked me
are you going with me?
negligent and rude
I told her
I can't, sorry,
but I have so many laundry and so many bills
to be paid without delay
but certainly 
for sure
I'll release myself, only to...Read More

I am writing letters home,
And will enclose in each a poem.
Here is my selection
For my verse connection.

I think for Maybelline
My best Alexandrine,
Six syllables per line,
That I'll polish till they shine.

Something different for Fritz,
I am sending him a Blitz,
I've not written...Read More

When your kitty comes prancing to greet you
and seems more than elated to meet you,
don’t delude yourself, dude.
I don’t mean to be rude:
if it could, that cute tabby would eat you....Read More

The story of Joseph (Genesis chapters 37-47) 
Rachel tried for years to conceive a child.
Seems that her fruit had been exiled.
God blessed Rachel with a baby boy.
For her and Jacob and his sons to enjoy.
His name was Joseph and he...Read More

As They Danced Incognito 

From where I sat that night in 1971,
I could see in the distance south LA,
Lit up like grounded stars in black mud;
As a rude wind brushed up against me,
I saw you wearing navy blue with black...Read More

Little Carrie Wimple.
Had a tiny pimple.
Right on her left cheek.
Though it was barley noticeable, she still felt like a freak.
Her mother who was dear, said darling do not weep nor fear.
Its part of growing up.

Little Tommy Sweeper's voice did get...Read More

TROLLS 

I remember them; hard plastic things, with very long hair, they came in an arrangement of colours, quite a strange affair. Everyone had one, they were quite the rage, but: there was always had to be the one that...Read More

              a thought and idea thief - how deep you fall - you small moth








29/12/2019
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved


A Thief Who Steals...Read More

Not An Artist
by Terry Richardson

I dedicate this poem to poetrysoup... * I’m not an artist as you can see, I’m not, though I try my darnedest, I try, I do, why can not I be, Regardless, I’m not an artist....Read More