Long Peed Poems

T'were the night after Christmas, 'n' the house was all dark.
Not much money for 'lectric in the ol' trailer park.
Ma waitin' tables at the club on the base,
jist me and my sisters alone in the...

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My wife and I were traveling down the road one afternoon 
When she said, “Honey, I could use a pit-stop pretty soon.”

Now…we all know the feeling when old Mother Nature calls, 
So I said, “As...

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I was in third grade when I heard a tale,                         ...

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A nice cruise from New York, I thought

From down by Pier two-one

I thought I'd head to England

For a good old spot of fun

An Ocean trip, some nice fresh air

Eleven days at sea

I thought this would...

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Yesterday I was in a little funk
because I got peed on by a big skunk
             took a long shower
    ...

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Kerry Ann gleamed with undeterred joy and twinkled in anticipation

It was her birthday and as a true Sagittarius she had colourful vision 

And a sharp bow for shooting the moon to get closer to serious...

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IMPRINTS
(Part 1 of Trilogy for My Father)

His shoes by the front door make me cry,
like his glasses resting atop an
unfinished crossword
and his toothbrush in its holder
the bristles still damp.
And I wonder...

Did he brush his teeth...

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Note: the "dd" in Welsh names is pronounced "th."

Merlyn's Birth
by Michael R. Burch

I was born in Gwynedd,
or not born, as some men claim,
and the Zephyr of Caer Myrrdin
gave me my name.

My father was Madog Morfeyn
but...

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Himalayan  Trip-Trap

They poured in,  before the deluge
To surpass the natives in numbers
folks in their  cribs -through-hearse  stages, 
trusting like kids,  a burnished sky,  blue-white, 
a cocktail of the wrong...

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In Soup Creek saloon behind Jenna’s bar
Milt’s holsters and belt and a posthumous star
Are fixed to a plaque to remember him best
There’s a custom made bracket where Milton’s guns rest

The gun barrels cross over Milt’s...

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It got worse each time,
But was always intrusive.
Inside and out you would climb.
Until you were fully protrusive.

First time was all hands,
Then you moved down below,
I listened to your demands
I didn't want the bruises to show.

He...

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As you see, hear a few moments later a funny looking Huckleberry Hound dopey little dog
cartoon the families all time favorite as the children snicker, and everyone there comes
in the room just in time and...

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His hands are small a lot like mine this I can recall, only to see no mirror upon this wall. Just look at my eyes they are not one of another, they are the eyes...

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The Boogeyman



"Lay your head down child I won't let the Boogeyman come"
another infamous Tool ballad blares out of the speakers.
"Go back to sleep, go back to sleep..."
James (now 14) hits the power button and says...

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We can’t go out so what to do?
How do we spend our time?
Imagination, racing thoughts
My brain on overtime.

There’s gardening, painting, DIY
Non urgent jobs to do,
They’re boring and predictable,
I need stimulus, tried and true.

That lazy dog...

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That’s it the battle is won, the toilet can fight no more
Three weeks ago the flush would overflow.
And kept leaving a puddle on the floor

I looked in the book, it said I needed a spare...

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back a small number of years thee diva of this domicile
exhibited an aura, charisma, enigma…devoid of any guile
boot of late turned a cold shoulder to me and I’ll
avoid denigrating, haranguing, and lambasting said dell lisle
la,...

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Sue dated an old bloke called Darren
He said surgery'd made him barren
But one errant sperm
Escaped from his ‘worm’
Now Sue’s had a baby named Sharon!

05~24~17

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON

For his sins he surely will pay
Strong little swimmer...

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Dear Santa Claws, for Christmas I’d like a new chew bone; I’ve been a real good dog this year; I don’t even bite the cat, Sheba, when she attacks my head, as I sleep and...

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Dearest Santa, my one wish may seem strange
but please do not interpret me as snide.
I wish this kindness so please do arrange  
my Christmas gift of a mail order bride.
Surely she would lighten my...

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DO NOT BLAME THE MONARCHY

Do not blame the Monarchy
For wounds from biting teeth that you dug up on your own
For the death of your children who were eaten by the wolf you domesticated
For your midget...

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DO NOT BLAME THE MONARCHY

Do not blame the Monarchy
For wounds from biting teeth that you dug up on your own
For the death of your children who were eaten by the wolf you domesticated
For your midget...

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Pay attention little boy, since school is now in session.
I am sure that you have shown me that you need this little lesson.
     You are the student. I am the teacher....

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So long I have lived, almost ninety-five years 
I have laughed and cried ten thousand tears 
As I'm lying in my bed with my wife by my side 
I want to tell her a couple...

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They chuckled as they went past the warning
sign, reading "Cursed Swamp". Some of them
even did a voodoo dance, beside the swamp.

Almost two hours earlier,
an old, one-eyed man had stopped their jeep,
raising his walking stick in...

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